House Divided by Religion

[sune42]

Quote:
Except if he can't answer NO to a question about sacrificing one of his own children, I think that counts as her feeling like he would harm them. He does have a right to see his children, but have the courts set up supervised visits.



edited because I can't type today

 

[txliss]

I've known Messianic Jews, and what I'm seeing on your opening remarks doesn't sound like anything they've adopted/preached.

I do have a friend who is a traditional Jew (husband) and is married to a Baptist (wife). Wife could care less about going to church, so since hubby does care, they attend synangogue (sp?) on Saturdays. Their compromise is that they celebrate everything: Christmas, Hanukkah, Easter, Purim - you name it. They are very active in BoyScouts, so they camp alot on weekends, but if they are in town, they go to synagogue. Their boys have learned both Bible and Torah, and do quite well.

The kids will take their cue from the 2 of you. If you can find a way to rationalize/compromise with each other, there will be no problems. If you can only be hostile to one another, the kids will learn to manipulate you against each other, and will become bitter toward you both in the end. (just like in any divided home situation) I pray that you and your hubby can find a way to make this work. Peace to you!

eta: I wrote this before reading the last couple of pages, so if things have progressed badly, keep the hugs and prayers, but the rest may be moot.

 

[Boyd]

since yesterday I have been shuddering after reading this. I agree with what you are doing. Run, and run fast. Keep in mind that right now possession of the kids is 9/10ths of the law. And this is so freaky sounding I would consider a PPO..... Exams for the girls etc.

Sorry you all are going through this. I couldn't not toss my $.02 any longer.

 

[StrawberryHouseMouse]

Quote:
I told him that I would let him have supervised visits because I no longer trust him alone with the kids. He said I can expect a court battle. Something tells me that he wont go through with his threat. He's the type of person that never does what he says he will if its not so easy a toddler could do it.
After I get all my things from the property I plan on dealing with the custody issue. I dont want to hurt anyone. I just want to protect my kids. So I dont plan on taking away all visitation rights. He can come see them when ever he wants. If he truely wants to see them then he will put aside his stubberness and come see them.

 

[deb1]

Quote:
I think that you are doing what is best for you and your children. Perhaps the shock of your leaving will be enough to make your husband start thinking.

When you talk to a lawyer be sure to explain your husband's religious cult like experience and the answer that he gave to you. A judge might very well find that his viewpoint is dangerous and order him into counseling before he sees the children.

 

[Southernbelle]

Strawberry, I think you've done the right thing. He is not the man you married anymore and this man is acting strange and scary. Maybe this break-up of his family will be the wake-up call he needs to realize that this "religion" of his is not healthy.

Hugs and prayers to all of you.

 

[wegotchickens]

I agree that totally keeping the kids away from him may not be best. BUT!!

You already feel threatened by his behaviors and you don't yet know what he's capable of or where his head really might be. So he can see the kids, when he asks if its convenient, but only if someone is there to supervise. Maybe not in the same room, but certainly nearby and he should NOT be allowed to leave with them.

Sounds to me like he's been so busy with his new friends that he hasn't had time for the kids, anyway. He may not even ask to see them.
But if he does, and your gut screams to be careful? Trust your gut.


And I agree that you should not go to the house without someone with you. I would hate for you to get there and find the meeting is taking place at YOUR house now that you aren't there.

If you were closer I'd give you this

Hang in there and when it seems overwhelming just close your eyes and feel us all sending you strength and prayer. This forum is awesome! That wave of power and strength is very real, I've felt it myself, and it does make a difference when you feel you just can't go on.

 

[coloradochick]

Strawberry don't underestimate the power these 'friends" have on him. He said that he had to go get their advice on the situation and that's what took him the hour to come in and say something. They might get behind him on the custody stuff. And the fact that they might have a new "meeting place" with you out of the house might fuel their fire. Get a lawyer asap just to protect yourself and the kids. At least consult with one. Don't put things off. I know it's easier said than done but it will be more difficult if you wait. Hugs and luck sent your way.

Cara

 

[Cetawin]

I am sorry it came down to this but you had no choice. You nd the girls will survive this and one day look back on it and sigh in relief. As to the question and his reply "I don't know", it would be a cold day in Hades that he came near my children without someone else with him.

You and the girls are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted.

 

[Carenm]

Nothing to really add that hasn't already been said. Such a sad situation. Just offering hugs