How Stupid (Funny) is Your Dog (Pet)?

[BigBlueHen53]

Here's a place to share your funny, silly, goofy, outrageous, unbelievable, cute or endearing stories about your pet that don't quite fit in other threads. Pictures encouraged! I'll start.

I was just sitting here thinking how Sammy, my Sheltie, is Barney Fife to my Sheriff Taylor on the Andy Griffith Show. Here's an example. Jenny, my Golden, is clearly crunching on something she shouldn't have (it's dark, I can hear her). It's probably a stick. She should not have a stick. She eats them, then she pukes or gets diarrhea. The other dogs just chew and spit, but she hasn't figured that out yet.

So I'm lying here thinking I need to take this away from her. But as soon as I say, "Jenny, what do you have?" ever so politely, here's what will happen.

Sammy, who's been lying here silently, gently snoring, will jump up and leap into Barney Fife mode. He'll decide I need help, as loudly as he can administer it, never mjnd it's 10 pm and DH is trying to sleep. He'll start shouting, at the top of his mighty little lungs, something like this:

OH MY LANDS! SHE HAS A STICK! SHE CAN'T HAVE A STICK! IT'S AGAINST THE LAW! TAKE IT AWAY! CALL THE COPS! PUT HER IN JAIL! GIVE HER THE DEATH PENALTY! GET A ROPE! HANG 'ER HIGH! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT! HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING!

And so on, as he loses his tiny little mind. And as Jenny smiles gently and lets me take it from her, he will run around snarling and snapping at my hand like I'm about to pick up a deadly snake.

He really is an idiot. But he looks so normal, doesn't he?

 

[thecatumbrella]

I had the opposite problem. My pug, Dory, was too smart. Amassed a huge vocabulary of names, foods, and toys. Recognized landmarks out the car window and would start screaming in excitement while we’re still 5-10 minutes from our destination. Picked up on subtle body language to learn when things were happening. It was both amazing and exhausting!

She was the best, and I miss her so much, but I’m secretly hoping I get a stupid dog the next time around.

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Oh mercy, she is adorable. I thought I didn't care for Pugs till I saw THAT face!

 

[thecatumbrella]

Oh mercy, she is adorable. I thought I didn't care for Pugs till I saw THAT face!

Thank you! I actually used to hear that a lot. She was surprisingly cute and feminine looking. I’m sure it helps that her eyes aren’t bugging out of her face like a lot of pugs. The poor things.

Sammy is stunning as well! Shelties have the sweetest look to them.

 

[Sally PB]

Hubby will bowl a large snowball (or clean snow chunk from the side of the road) toward Freya. She will chase it, hold it down with her paws, and chew on it until it breaks into a bunch of little pieces. Then walk away, as if to say, "My job here is done."

 

[Sally PB]

Freya also has what we call a "purr-bark." It's a precursor to her backing her head off at some strange noise. The list of strange noises has included:

My belt buckle jingling as I get dressed
The sound of my toothbrush clinking against the holder
Plastic bags crinkling in another room
The sound of one of my gloves hitting the floor when I dropped it

It's funny... except when it isn't.

 

[FunClucks]

My dog is brilliant. Except when he's not. He's a standard poodle, just over two years old, so just coming out of puppy craziness. He's calm and quiet most of the time, rarely barks, but these two old ladies that walk down the street in front of the house must be barked at. They are the threat, and must be alerted for, none of the other joggers, just these two old ladies out walking. I think he doesn't like their hair?

He will only eat meat, or meat adjacent items, in addition to his kibble. So, steak, cheese, and cool whip are on the menu, but veggies or fruits are not. Possible exception for salmon flavored sweet potato. And he's really picky - if his water in his bowl isn't clean he won't drink it. He will stare at me and walk towards and away from the water until the dense human remembers she did not refresh the water bowl. If it gets lower than a certain amount he won't drink it, because it's too much trouble? And yet, this same dog will lick water out of any muddy puddle he finds in the back yard. Chicken poop and cat poop are on the menu. I really don't get it sometimes! Pic of the culprit from about a year ago.

 

[Sally PB]

And yet, this same dog will lick water out of any muddy puddle he finds in the back yard.

"Because it's wild water, hooman! Don't you know about that? Don't you know anything?

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Freya also has what we call a "purr-bark." It's a precursor to her backing her head off at some strange noise. The list of strange noises has included:

My belt buckle jingling as I get dressed
The sound of my toothbrush clinking against the holder
Plastic bags crinkling in another room
The sound of one of my gloves hitting the floor when I dropped it

It's funny... except when it isn't.

Uuggh, my Gracie was like that. Also a Sheltie, she had one ear up and one down and I wondered if that was a factor. Unusual noises/ situations included: the sound of aluminum foil or parchment paper, anybody sneezing but me, any kind of tapping or knocking, sirens or honking on the tv, me stepping up on a step stool, squirrels, walnuts falling off the tree, anybody using the front door ... sigh. Yeah, I don't miss THAT about her, lol.

 

[Callender Girl]

I used to have rescue Keeshonden. They were amazing dogs. I now have two non-Kees rescues; they are far more perplexing than amazing.

George, a mostly-pit bull mix, is totally blind. Like a polar bear trapped in a zoo, he circles. He walks in circles when he wants to go out, when he doesn't want to go out, when he's just been out. He walks around the dining room table in circles; he circles around the coffee table. And, in the past month, George has become incredibly afraid of the tiled kitchen floor. I thought that maybe his nails were too long and were causing problems. Trimmed nails proved that was not the issue. I have now made a pathway of rugs so he can walk across it -- to get to the hardwood dining room where he can circle.

Dinah -- the DNA says she's a mix of 11 breeds -- has lived here for five years. She's my Velcro girl; she has to be on the sofa with me, has to sleep on the bed with me. However, several months ago, she decided she couldn't walk up the stairs to the bedroom. She would sit on the floor whimpering -- even though she was still perfectly capable of jumping up on the bed and sofa.

Then, as suddenly as the behavior started, she was magically able to go up stairs again for weeks. Until earlier this month, when she has decided she must again be carried up the stairs. I would think there was a physical problem IF she wasn't so spry about climbing up on everything else.