When you say "the husband," I really don't get the feeling these are good friends of yours and therefore I don't think it's going to go well for you to intervene. If they're building something new, you can't be critical of the past and get anywhere. So just hang tight, is my opinion. Many people come on BYC with stories of their own neglect, just as bad as your recap of these folks and worse. And they don't usually get so ripped by other BYC'ers. I think people are being critical about them because it's so indirect.