How to mourn?

[sierraforest]

Hello everyone. We lost one of our girls (Connie) late last night—she was egg bound with 3 stuck inside, and we didn't know until it was too late, apparently. We had our small flock of three ducks staying with a new-to-us pet sitter and picked them up yesterday afternoon, and she seemed to have been in distress for a long time. We immediately took her to an emergency vet who did everything she could, but heartbreakingly in the end euthanasia was the most humane thing to do. Aside from the fact that we feel more terrible than words can describe, we're worried about one of our other ducks, who was this Connie's sister and was closest to her. They definitely had a special bond so we're trying to figure out the best way to handle any grief Julie feels now.

Maybe this sounds crazy, but in anyone else's experience in this same situation, should we allow Julie to see the container Connie was given back to us in or not or something else...? I've read that wild ducks mate for life and display signs of mourning so is the experience similar for siblings and/or domestic ducks? We think it seems like not a good idea to allow Julie to watch us bury Connie...

 

[Disintegration]

I'm not really knowledgable on ducks, but I do know what it's like to loose a pet. I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[sierraforest]

I'm not really knowledgable on ducks, but I do know what it's like to loose a pet. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you so much for taking the time to share this kind note, I appreciate it.

 

[springvalley123]

Sorry for your loss.
When I had ducks, we started with an assorted 6 ducklings, of which 3 ducks and 3 drakes. We kept 1 drake and the 3 ducks. Shortly after they started laying, we had to euthanize one of them because she got injured (due to her crest/neuro issues). When hubby found the injured duck, drake was gently nudging her, either consoling or guarding. But once she was euthanized, the other 2 ducks and drake never looked back even though they had been together their entire lives. Hopefully your other two ducks' experience will be similar. This may be hard to think of now, but once you feel up to it, I suggest you find another duck or two to integrate in, just in case anything happens to one of the others.

 

[fatty and friends]

i’m so sorry for your loss. i keep all my ducks as pets and love them so i understand what your going through

yes ducks will mourn their friends. we originally had all drakes, then added two more ducklings who we thought were both boys. they both ended up being girls so we divided the yard into two areas so that we could keep both little groups but prevent any issues. when one of our girls passed away, the other girl got depressed and wouldn’t eat or anything. we adopted two babies for her, and it was the best decision ever. after she got used to the babies she helped us raise them and was so much happier. it just takes time for them to get over the loss, but with lots of attention from their humans and other ducks they’ll be okay

here’s some pics of her now, super happy!

 

[KaleIAm]

I am very sorry for your and your ducks' loss. I also have a small flock of well loved ducks, and I understand what you are experiencing.

I started out with 6 ducks, and have lost 4 to medical issues over the last 6.5 years. 3 we have had euthanized at the vet, and one passed away in the barn with her sisters overnight. My remaining ducks grieved their lost flockmate each time, but differently and for a varying duration. The one who passed away in the barn definitely was the hardest for them, though it could have been a coincidence, and was also the only flock member they saw deceased. The ducks I brought home from the vet I promptly buried. I'm sorry I don't know what is best, but that's what I have done.

I agree, it is likely not best for your remaining ducks to witness the burial. She probably won't understand.

Mallards don't mate for life, to my understanding, just for a season. And it looks like your sweet duck is a mallard derived duck. That doesn't mean losing a treasured flock member isn't painful for them. They have close relationships and strong bonds from what I have observed in my own flock.

 

[CrazyChicken Lady]

I have 5 ducks but I’ve never had a duck pass away yet. I’ve heard from many sources that ducks do mourn. I’m not sure watching you bury Connie will help Julie but if you’d like to do it to comfort you go for it. You could get another female.... Julie might bond again to it and your drake-to-hen ration is off now anyways. I know how much a person can love a duck and I’m truly so sorry about Connie.

 

[sierraforest]

Sorry for your loss.
When I had ducks, we started with an assorted 6 ducklings, of which 3 ducks and 3 drakes. We kept 1 drake and the 3 ducks. Shortly after they started laying, we had to euthanize one of them because she got injured (due to her crest/neuro issues). When hubby found the injured duck, drake was gently nudging her, either consoling or guarding. But once she was euthanized, the other 2 ducks and drake never looked back even though they had been together their entire lives. Hopefully your other two ducks' experience will be similar. This may be hard to think of now, but once you feel up to it, I suggest you find another duck or two to integrate in, just in case anything happens to one of the others.

Likewise, I'm sorry for the losses you've experienced as well, springvalley123. Thank you for your note and kind words.

 

[sierraforest]

i’m so sorry for your loss. i keep all my ducks as pets and love them so i understand what your going through

yes ducks will mourn their friends. we originally had all drakes, then added two more ducklings who we thought were both boys. they both ended up being girls so we divided the yard into two areas so that we could keep both little groups but prevent any issues. when one of our girls passed away, the other girl got depressed and wouldn’t eat or anything. we adopted two babies for her, and it was the best decision ever. after she got used to the babies she helped us raise them and was so much happier. it just takes time for them to get over the loss, but with lots of attention from their humans and other ducks they’ll be okay

here’s some pics of her now, super happy!

Thank you very much for this thoughtful note. I'm so glad your girl is happy again and doing well!

 

[sierraforest]

I am very sorry for your and your ducks' loss. I also have a small flock of well loved ducks, and I understand what you are experiencing.

I started out with 6 ducks, and have lost 4 to medical issues over the last 6.5 years. 3 we have had euthanized at the vet, and one passed away in the barn with her sisters overnight. My remaining ducks grieved their lost flockmate each time, but differently and for a varying duration. The one who passed away in the barn definitely was the hardest for them, though it could have been a coincidence, and was also the only flock member they saw deceased. The ducks I brought home from the vet I promptly buried. I'm sorry I don't know what is best, but that's what I have done.

I agree, it is likely not best for your remaining ducks to witness the burial. She probably won't understand.

Mallards don't mate for life, to my understanding, just for a season. And it looks like your sweet duck is a mallard derived duck. That doesn't mean losing a treasured flock member isn't painful for them. They have close relationships and strong bonds from what I have observed in my own flock.

Thank you for taking the time to reply, KalelAm. It's helpful to know about your varied experiences as we figure this out.