Husband doesn't understand the concept of a budget... *Rant*

[Bettacreek]

Well, for the next month or so, we're on a VERY limited budget. Hubby was just laid off, and he isn't getting much for unemployment. I'm JUST going back to work, and it will be up to a month before I even get a paycheck, and it may be a crummy paycheck that just barely puts gas in my car. Anyways, we're going to have $100 to spend for our grocery bill tomorrow, and we're low on just about everything and out of everything that we're not low on. Anyways, I was putting together a list of things to buy to stock up for the next month and a half to two months. I put the usual on it, milk, eggs, chicken, bread, tea, sugar, etc. Now hubby is upset with me because he only got to put enough stuff on to make two meals. Well, when you demand that you have canned chili, nacho cheese, homemade fries, burgers, lettuce, tomato, onion, sliced AND shredded cheese for ONE FREAKING MEAL, of course you're going to be going over your limit. He says it's excusable because then we can make hotdogs with the chili/cheese, but, the way we are, one can of cheese/chili lasts us ONE meal, not two. He rarely ever offers to make dinner when we actually have money and can afford his luxury cooking style, then he gets upset because I say that we can't afford it when we really can't afford it. I mean, it would be one thing to buy burgers and buns and then slap some mayo, ketchup and mustard on and be done, tada, there's a burger, but he INSISTS on adding on all of the extra junk. *Sigh* Why is it so hard for him to understand something so simple?

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Does he go grocery shopping with you?

 

[Bettacreek]

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. This time, he's banned from going with me, because some of the precious things he has on the list aren't making it into the cart. He's going to be really mad when I get home, but, well, I'd rather him be mad at me for a little while than have to worry about not having enough food to last us.

 

[debilorrah]

I am SOOOO thankful that I am the one that pays the bills and does the shopping and cooking. My fiance is not the type of person you let loose in a home improvement store, or a grocery store.

Forget the can of chili - make some homemade for half the cost and freeze what is left over. Also, take advantage of Sufficient Self (link at the bottom of the screen). Believe me there are more than a few of us that have to make a few dollars feed the family for a month.

I also take advantage of all the specials, especially with meat. I will go to one store to get ground beef at $1.59/lb and go to another store that has whole chickens for $.69/lb. And when they are on sale I buy more than I need and freeze them. One whole chicken can make enchiladas, chicken salad, chicken pot pies, etc. Your DH is just going to have to get a grip for the time being. If it helps at all, let him know that when the money starts coming in again, he can have all his fancy trimmings back.

 

[Redfeathers]

Have you tried applying for food stamps until you are solvent again? Many families are forced to use them these days and it really does help. There is no shame in it and you might be surprised how much you qualify for. I know several families that have had to go on food stamps or else they didn't have enough for feeding themselves.

 

[toletiquesbysam]

I don't take anyone with me to the grocery store, nor do they get to decide the grocery list. I budget each meal for the day to be no more than $10 and most the time can get them around $5. I plan for 10-12 meals at a time and most time my total comes to $100 or slightly less. If we are on a very tight week then we have pancakes, mac n cheese, potato soup, spaghetti, biscuits and chipped beef gravy, quesadilla's or similar. You can do it, you just need to plan and stick to your list!!! Good Luck, it's not easy but you will get through it!

 

[Bettacreek]

The thing that drives me nuts is that he doesn't ask for the fancy trimmings on a regular basis... I swear he intentionally waits until we can't afford it just so that he can complain.
I'll have to check into making the chili here, we do still have two bags of ground beef from my brother, so that will help cut that cost out. I made hubby a deal, I'd buy a big can of nacho cheese from Sams club if I could make the chili here, and he went for it. It'll cost $1 more for the can, but we'll be getting at least like 8 times as much as if we bought two small cans of cheese at Walmart, so we can use it in mac & cheese to spice it up a bit, as well as whatever else we want, lol. As for our meats, I honestly buy everything at Walmart or Sam's. I really have been meaning to start doing some of it at Giant and taking advantage of their coupon doubling. For the most part though, Walmart is cheaper than Giant, even when Giant is on sale, but Walmart basically never puts meats on sale, so I might be able to get meats cheaper at Giant. The chicken, I usually try to get it on the last day, then a pack of chicken leg quarters is $1 off. That's the only chicken that ever gets "old" at Sam's.

As for food stamps, we're actually hoping to go tomorrow as well. We had to use them once before, and it was MISERABLE. I was pregnant at the time and we just fell down a huge hole, hubby lost his job, and I wasn't getting much work. It took them more than two weeks to get food stamps to us, and that was because the lady just didn't take the time to enter our information, otherwise, we could have had them MUCH earlier. That time that we were waiting, we were living off of ramen noodles (and vitamins for me). Now THAT sucked. At least our future is looking bright this time, hubby isn't supposed to be laid off for long, and I'm already scheduled to go back to work.

But, we do have another mouth to feed this time, and I swear, for only being a year old, our son is a bottomless pit. He seriously eats as much as I do in a sitting, but, he'll eat 5 times per day.

I just can't wait to get a healthy income back.

 

[Wifezilla]

Your husband needs to GROW UP! He sounds like a freaking teenager! Sheesh. MAKE him come with you and show him the price of each individual purchase.

The way you are going now, he has set you up as being the BAD GUY. Time to show him REALITY is the "bad guy" and getting mad at you isn't going to change reality.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

See note on marriage!!

One of the biggest questions I tell people they need to ask before they marry is what does money MEAN to you?

People will swear high and low that they think you should handle money responsibly, but until you know what it means you don't know what they'll do when they are in a bind.

I have a friend for whom money means freedom. SO when she got fired a few years back and was on the verge of losing her home SHE WENT TO SPAIN!

To her it made sense to blow what she had left in an effort to make herself feel better and more ready to handle what could come next. I was beside myself! For me money means security and I would be sqirreling it away trying to keep a roof over my head.

If your husband waits until things are tight to make these demands then the money means something else entirely. Its not about the food its about how he feels right now. I could made some really good guesses but this is an open forum and not the right place.

Ask him (or yourself) what does the food (money) mean to him......

 

[beak]

There are also a lot of food banks out there that will give you food no questions asked. Our horse trainer has hit hard times and she drops her 6 year old off every once in a while for us to baby sit. She's well behaved and we have 2 six year old's so they have a lot of fun. She pays us with stuff from the food bank that she doesn't really want. We put it all to use. Homemade chili is cheaper and taste a lot better than the canned stuff. You can actually scoop it in a ziploc bag and freeze it. Spaghetti sauce is the same way. Join a food warehouse like Costco or Sams. It cost 65$ but you get 3x as much on a lot of items for the same price as what you pay at Safeway or any other major store including Wal-Mart.

Good Luck