Husband doesn't understand the concept of a budget... *Rant*

[vfem]

http://www.angelfoodministries.com/menu_0902en.asp?

Try to order food from them.... $100 will get you the month easy!

They helped our family through unemployment for the last several months. He's working again as of December, but with high energy bills on a not so energy effecient home, we're continuing to use them.

You guys are going to be stressed with each during this time. Try not to break into fights over it. Maybe suggest writing out your personal frustrations on a piece of paper and swapping the papers to read. Talk about what things each of you can promise to change to help each other get through this. It worked for hubby and me... we couldn't change everything, but them being considerate of 1 or 2 things that really push your buttons in hard times helped control my temper and his a lot!

 

[Bettacreek]

We do definately have a Sam's membership. I just got it this past August, after getting tired of having to hitch along with my parents to use their card, lol. We've done the Angel food, but part of my problem with them is that nothing is labelled. We get random meats that may or may not have been what was on the list, and if I don't know what the heck it is, I won't know how to cook it. Plus, a lot of the time, I can spend the same amount of money on foods that we normally get and actually get more for my money at the grocery store, if I'm careful. It is fun to get the boxes though, it adds variety, but I'd rather eat chicken legs for a week than to get some of the "mystery meats" that they pack.

 

[lorieMN]

Quote:
the sad fact is most people like this never do grow up and take responsibility..not to say he is a bad person,I am sure hes a great guy,just not one I could live with..you will probably have to take over and tell him to grow up..decide what is best for you and your child..not worry about hubby and his nachos..

 

[vfem]

huh, that's funny. Everything I've gotten is well packaged and labeled. The fruit box we got was extremely fresh nothing was bruised or anything. I was quite impressed.

I'm sure it may be according to what church you are picking up from I suppose when they pack the boxes. I know several of the meats and veggies we get are from local NC farms... so that may help.

 

[Bettacreek]

For us, if you buy one of the special boxes, they'll label the box with what was SUPPOSED to be in it, but they don't label the actual packages, and sometimes, the label isn't what's in the box, because of their "right to substitute".

I love hubby, but, yes, sometimes, I really just want to stuff him in a box and ship him away for a little while. His mother gave him some really bad habits with money. She's always behind in bills, and instead spends money on the latest game consoles for her youngest kids. Thankfully, hubby isn't THAT bad, but he just lacks some basic common sense sometimes. We can both eat homemade fries with just some salt (well, I like vinegar, but, we've had a gallon of vinegar for the past who knows how long, so it's not like I'm splurging money), he just gets weird about getting fancy with food. I do think it is a stress-relief thing with him, it gives him something to do, and it makes him feel like he's helping out. He is an excellent cook and everything, but, well, I wish he could be more flexible with cooking and be able to make a basic meal instead of always having to "impress" me with something fancy.

 

[Solace]

Bettacreek,

I'd just like to add something here. I may have missed a list of priorities, but I wanted to mention a few things.

First I want to say I've been in absolutely horrible situations myself. I went from living in a $200K + home making 90k a year to losing everything I had due to stupidity. I'm going to be brutal here and if the mods see fit to edit this statement I apologize in advance, but I've seen a time when I sat down on the toilet I could see through the floor all the way to good ole mother earth.... being depressed during this time would be a major understatement. I've learned many lessons the hard way and have to say I was in your husbands shoes at one point.

If you can make it with the food budget you previously mentioned do it. Let your husband get mad, upset, pout just whatever he wants to do. As others have suggested seek out help from the mentioned sources if you truly need it. I didn't see anyone mention a local church. I don't care what your position on churches are and frankly it isn't any of my business, but they will help you.

Here's what helped me through the toughest times.

When I went to my previous 'high' to the lowest of lows I utilized the poor mans bank aka a Pawn Shop. I pawned $15,000+ dollars worth of guns to survive. If it's bad enough for you take that option into consideration. I sold/pawned anything that wasn't nailed down.

As far as priorities go there are a few basic truths. You have to eat, you have to have a place to sleep and you have to have some way of getting from place to place.... car, bus, bike, feet!

1. Food
2. House/Utilities
3. Transportation

Outside of that EVERYTHING else is secondary. Credit cards, unsecured debts, cable tv, internet or anything of the like should come after you've taken care of the big 3. Creditors will try every psychological trick in the book to get the cash. They don't care if you have a place to live or food to eat. The callers are paid 'hitmen' and they are trained to take advantage of any weakness they can find. Now I'm not saying don't pay your bills. If you made them of course you're responsible for them, but there are times where survival priorities must kick in.

As for me I started listening to the common sense principals Dave Ramsey has been presenting to people. I'm not trying to tell anyone to listen to this guy. I'm just saying 'learning' these principals have truly worked for me. Today I have quite a bit more than I had before and my lowest of lows was a short 12 years ago. I'm not trying to gloat or anything, but today I owe no man.

 

[smom1976]

I wish we could be living of the principles of dave ramsey..

we are BROKE BROKE BROKE.. I borrowed money from a friend to get my $5 fruit trees..

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Do you guys ever shop at Aldi? We do.

 

[Bettacreek]

Smom, banks are a total PITA. We were using Omega Bank (not sure if that's all over the place or not). We had a card, but we never got any information on it (I know, we should have asked for everything in writing), and when I asked about over-drawing, the guy told us that it was a "small fee" to overdraw. Turns out, it was $32, which wasn't a small fee by any means. We assumed that it was a percent of your purchase, so we tried to buy only the minimum so that we didn't overdraw too much. We ended up having to use $235 or so, and ended up with over $800 in fees, because we would buy one thing at a time. I tried to talk to them about getting the fees lowered so that we could pay for it, but the lady basically told us that it wasn't her problem. I know, it wasn't her problem, but, wow. We have since closed that account and I won't even step foot in an Omega Bank. I now use PSECU and won't ever overdraw EVER again. I'd sooner borrow cash from family than to overdraw and pay someone some outrageous fee.

As far as how bad off we are, well, as someone pointed out, we have the internet and cable. We're not really bad off, but we are a little late on the cable/internet bill, and we won't have any other luxuries for another month or two. After that little rocky patch, we'll be fine. My husband's unemployment will just barely cover the basic necessities and the cable bill. We're basically just waiting for his unemployment to kick in and for my "first" paycheck. I guess we're not really "struggling", but, I panic and try to stock up and want to plan ahead, since we are going to be on the limited income for a short while, and we are broke for the moment. Hubby's work said that he's supposed to be called back a month after being laid off (he was laid of last week), but, well, my work said that we were supposed to be out of work for 2-3 weeks, and that was almost a year ago, we're just now going back. Part of the problem is that we never got to reset our nest egg, which scares me completely.

The closest Aldi to us is over an hour away, so by the time you get there, it's cheaper to just buy locally.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
VFEM! Is there an income cap on this? My fiance's pay JUST got restored again and things are so tight it isn't even funny. I think I may hurl if I see another package of ground beef.