Husband just died

[redhen]

Quote:
Honestly... would you REALLY want someone that talks/thinks like that anyways? He seems a bit..uh.... extreme and odd about religion to me. Seems he keeps throwing "god" up in your face a bit much.... just odd if you ask me.
I wouldnt want to raise my daughter with someone that thinks that way anyways....
matter of fact..i'd RUN like hell the other way...
HIS loss!!!...

 

[wolftracks]

Quote:
Honestly... would you REALLY want someone that talks/thinks like that anyways? He seems a bit..uh.... extreme and odd about religion to me. Seems he keeps throwing "god" up in your face a bit much.... just odd if you ask me.
I wouldnt want to raise my daughter with someone that thinks that way anyways....
matter of fact..i'd RUN like hell the other way...
HIS loss!!!...

Yeah, what she said and Debi already used my word


nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnext

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
Honestly... would you REALLY want someone that talks/thinks like that anyways? He seems a bit..uh.... extreme and odd about religion to me. Seems he keeps throwing "god" up in your face a bit much.... just odd if you ask me.
I wouldnt want to raise my daughter with someone that thinks that way anyways....
matter of fact..i'd RUN like hell the other way...
HIS loss!!!...

what she said.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
Honestly... would you REALLY want someone that talks/thinks like that anyways? He seems a bit..uh.... extreme and odd about religion to me. Seems he keeps throwing "god" up in your face a bit much.... just odd if you ask me.
I wouldnt want to raise my daughter with someone that thinks that way anyways....
matter of fact..i'd RUN like hell the other way...
HIS loss!!!...

what she said.

NEXT!

Two excuses, he is out. When a man gives me too many excuses, he got some kind of emotional baggage attached to him. Let him enjoy his daughter for the time being while you go enjoy yours.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
Honestly... would you REALLY want someone that talks/thinks like that anyways? He seems a bit..uh.... extreme and odd about religion to me. Seems he keeps throwing "god" up in your face a bit much.... just odd if you ask me.
I wouldnt want to raise my daughter with someone that thinks that way anyways....
matter of fact..i'd RUN like hell the other way...
HIS loss!!!...

what she said.

What's really bothering me the most is ...

Our first time out he said he really liked the Harry Potter novels (OK, I know many adults who do)

But ... I KNOW that the Harry Potter novels are BANNED by many churches. So apparently I'm more evil than Harry Potter and witchcraft.

THAT'S what's confusing me.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
what she said.

What's really bothering me the most is ...

Our first time out he said he really liked the Harry Potter novels (OK, I know many adults who do)

But ... I KNOW that the Harry Potter novels are BANNED by many churches. So apparently I'm more evil than Harry Potter and witchcraft.

THAT'S what's confusing me.

I will tell you the truth I dated a church boy once and I would never do it again. Too many mixed messages, deception, and the feeling that I just wasn't quite good enough. The funny thing was, I was way more spiritual and had much more faith than he did- he was negative and gloomy. Clearly all his religion was doing him no good at all.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
what she said.

What's really bothering me the most is ...

Our first time out he said he really liked the Harry Potter novels (OK, I know many adults who do)

But ... I KNOW that the Harry Potter novels are BANNED by many churches. So apparently I'm more evil than Harry Potter and witchcraft.

THAT'S what's confusing me.

Harry Potter is fun to anyone that enjoyed it. I sure did by watching his movies. Tried reading them but I lost interest in those wordy words. Even the Catholic friends of mine loves Harry Potter. Its just a story, of magic and fun!

 

[Gold Griffin Chicken Mom]

Sometimes God says "No."

Or "wait" or "not right now."

All three of those are frustrating to deal with. Can I hear a "Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!"

Years ago I sat down and sketched a picture. It was a nice house with a long driveway and a garage. We don't have a separate garage YET, but we are working on it. I found that sketch when we were packing to move here. It only took about a decade to happen...

Figure out what you like. A friend once told me she liked watching sporting events by herself because she loved yelling at the TV and didn't want disapproving bystanders. By herself she could really cut loose and yell at the dummy that just dropped the ball. Find that one silly thing you like to do by yourself and do it once in awhile.

Don't forget to hug your daughter, your horse, and a couple of chickens everyday. It's the little things that help the most. Be blessed.

 

[michickenwrangler]

Quote:
Problem is, he IS a lot of what I want in a man.

 

[CityGirlintheCountry]

Okay, really. Your husband died three months ago. Just 12 weeks and you are already wanting to jump into another relationship? Take some time to heal for heaven's sake. Even if you weren't totally happy during the relationship you still were emotionally involved. Let that one heal before trying to add another emotional weight to your life.

Your child is still at some level grieving for her father and now you want to throw another male father-figure into her life? Add to that your statement that you are not bonded to her and she is likely very aware of this. Are you just trying to really screw her up? Give HER some time to rebalance her life before you start throwing new men into the picture. She is a child and is probably confused and emotionally exhausted from the existing upheaval in her life. What does it tell her that you are "replacing" daddy in 12 weeks? How will that color all of her future relationships? It is your job to turn this child into a well balanced, interesting adult. Your decisons now will heavily influence her future life.

You can be alone and it will not kill you. You can develop yourself into a strong, interesting person that is perfectly capable of living without a man around. You really can. I realize that you married really young the first time and that you have always had a man around, but it isn't the end of the world if you learn to be single. It won't kill you and life will indeed go on. Life can actually be great if you will quit focusing on snaring some guy and focus on yourself. Now is the perfect time in your life to be completely selfish and work on healing and developing your own person and interests. You might try by focusing on your child. You may not have wanted children, but you have one. Deal with it and "man up". She is your responsibility 100% and should be your primary focus. Dating should not be your primary focus.

This dude is backing off. While you think he is perfect for you, clearly he is seeing things that are sending up red flags. Bashing him for his religious choices is unfair. Some guys (most guys) just won't be all that interested in you. It happens. It is part of life. If you are really fortunate perhaps some day another great guy will come along. Perhaps. Maybe. Could be. There are no guarantees in life and it may not happen. If that is all you are focused on though you will soon begin to reek of desperation and that will send the "nice" guys scurrying for the hills. Desperation is an ugly perfume on both men and women.