- Thread starter
- #371
OK, it's been 2 1/2 months since Wayne died. After about 2 months, I began to start feeling in control again, not exactly "over it" but starting to look forward to life again.
I began seeing someone: not too much older than me, nice, kinda shy, enough in common to build a relationship on but different enough to ask questions about one another.
However, this last weekend, for some reason on Saturday morning, the grief just came flooding back. I spent most of Saturday weeping in my room. Unofrtunately, while all my friends were very supportive in the beginning, most--having lives--have gone on with them and it's hard to find someone to talk to. Also, this guy was supposed to call me on Saturday and he never did. Keep in mind that he works 2 jobs and it's hard for him to find time to see me. I try not to be too demanding on his time, but a call from him would have really lifted my spirits.
He was supposed to bring his daughter out to go riding on Sunday, but his daughter got sick and though he said he tried to call, he couldn't get through on my cell phone and I couldn't get through to his. He did leave a message on my answering machine and I tried to call back, but he doesn't have a land line and where he lives he doesn't get good reception on his cell phone. On the message I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or tired or both. He said he was getting burned out with the jobs and needed tp get some sleep. I tried calling him back twice and got his voicemail. I left a message.
Also, he does work for FEMA meaning he will probably be going to Lousiana soon for 6 weeks. I'd like to see him at least once or twice before he leaves but I feel bad about taking his time. Is this selfish of me? Should I call him?
During my severe bout of depression this weekend, I did find a friend to talk to, and I also wrote a letter to him--not sure if I will give it to him or not--and that helped to get me out of my funk, but last night, it hit again. The realization is that I will never hear "I love you" again, I will never have a man to sleep next to or wake up next to again, or to greet me when I come home from work. I'm so lonely, but I'm not desperate enough to go to a bar or casino. That was why I began seeing this guy (1. FEMA requires a background check, 2. we did not meet at a bar or casino and 3. He genuinely seemed to like me, thinking it was cool that I have chickens and horses and his daughter wants to take riding lessons)
But I'm afraid that my persistence in trying to get a hold of him this weekend has turned him off and he doesn't want anything to do with me. AGain, should I call him or should I wait for him to call me?
I began seeing someone: not too much older than me, nice, kinda shy, enough in common to build a relationship on but different enough to ask questions about one another.
However, this last weekend, for some reason on Saturday morning, the grief just came flooding back. I spent most of Saturday weeping in my room. Unofrtunately, while all my friends were very supportive in the beginning, most--having lives--have gone on with them and it's hard to find someone to talk to. Also, this guy was supposed to call me on Saturday and he never did. Keep in mind that he works 2 jobs and it's hard for him to find time to see me. I try not to be too demanding on his time, but a call from him would have really lifted my spirits.
He was supposed to bring his daughter out to go riding on Sunday, but his daughter got sick and though he said he tried to call, he couldn't get through on my cell phone and I couldn't get through to his. He did leave a message on my answering machine and I tried to call back, but he doesn't have a land line and where he lives he doesn't get good reception on his cell phone. On the message I couldn't tell if he was annoyed or tired or both. He said he was getting burned out with the jobs and needed tp get some sleep. I tried calling him back twice and got his voicemail. I left a message.
Also, he does work for FEMA meaning he will probably be going to Lousiana soon for 6 weeks. I'd like to see him at least once or twice before he leaves but I feel bad about taking his time. Is this selfish of me? Should I call him?
During my severe bout of depression this weekend, I did find a friend to talk to, and I also wrote a letter to him--not sure if I will give it to him or not--and that helped to get me out of my funk, but last night, it hit again. The realization is that I will never hear "I love you" again, I will never have a man to sleep next to or wake up next to again, or to greet me when I come home from work. I'm so lonely, but I'm not desperate enough to go to a bar or casino. That was why I began seeing this guy (1. FEMA requires a background check, 2. we did not meet at a bar or casino and 3. He genuinely seemed to like me, thinking it was cool that I have chickens and horses and his daughter wants to take riding lessons)
But I'm afraid that my persistence in trying to get a hold of him this weekend has turned him off and he doesn't want anything to do with me. AGain, should I call him or should I wait for him to call me?
