I AM SO MAD!!!

[SoccerMomof7]

I offically HATE my ex husband! Okay ever since I married husband Ivan my ex hasn't wanted anything to do with our two boys, he's even had the nerve to say that the youngest wasn't his! HELLO I wasn't the one screwing around, that was him! Well he is remarried. ( he got some chick pregnate) so over the last couple of months he has wanted to play Daddy, but what about the 2 1/2 years before that?! He has not had the boys more the 10 weekends in the last 30 months. Okay well the 31st of this month is my youngest, Keyton's, 3rd birthday, and of course it falls on Richards weekend. He had the boys on easter, and I didn't even complain, but this is the next holiday and I am not missing my son's birthday. Richard has never even been to one of Keyton's birthdays, he always says he will be here and never shows up. It's not like he's current on child suppost either. He's paid maybe 3 months in the last year. Well I called him yesterday and he just yelled at me that it was his weekend and he would be here no matter what, and of course I told him that he could take me to court but the boys were not going. It is my holiday, our divorce papers say that we alternate holidays, he had them easter this is my holiday. OMG I am still so mad I could scream!!!

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[Scrambled Egg]

OMG I am still so mad I could scream!!!

ROTFL!!!!! Tell us how you REALLY feel?!! Don't hold back now!!! LOL!! jk...happy I don't have an ex-husband to share kids with and sorry that you do! Hope your day gets better!!!

 

[SoccerMomof7]

That's not even half of it, I am dealing with my step kids mom too. Both my husband and I had kids previous to our marriage, and don't get me wrong I love all of our beautiful children, but I hate their mom too. She is moving like 5 states away, didn't even tell her kids, and then I invited her to dinner (I was going to suck it up for the kids) so she could come say good bye, give the kids the clothes and stuff they had there, and so she could tell them she was leaving and she didn't show up!!! She had the nerve to show up at my mother in laws to drop the kids stuff off because she didn't want to face her own kids!!! They told her to just bring it here and leave it on the porch, so that just means she is leaving town in a couple of hours and now the kids won't get their stuff!!! Days like today I fell sorry for my husband because I will rant all day and then he thinks I am mad at him.

 

[SoccerMomof7]

Quote:
ROTFL!!!!! Tell us how you REALLY feel?!! Don't hold back now!!! LOL!! jk...happy I don't have an ex-husband to share kids with and sorry that you do! Hope your day gets better!!!

I know I have to vent somewhere so I don't scream!!

 

[seismic wonder2]

Me and my two sisters are children of divorce.
Both mysisters have children of divorce.
My wife has two boys from a previous marriage.

I can tell you from direct experiance, No matter how much of a putz your EX is, the kids will want to visit whenever they can. They are probably super excited that the EX even wants to see them at all.
It makes no difference to them that he was a poop to you and them for so long, he wants to see them NOW and that's all that matters in the kids' minds.
It will be like that until they are old enough to realize what a putz he really is and they will drop it on their own.

If I were you I'd let the kid have his birthday or what ever with his father, there will be many more with you too. You can even have you're own birthday party on a different day.

Remember the only thing that matters is the kids. It's not "you got more than I got". It dosen't matter how fair you think it is or not, It only matters to the kids if "you didn't let then see their dad on their birthday..." then you are the bad guy and they will resent you for it.
Jerk the kids around too much and they will grow up to be 26, living in your basement playing Resident Evil on the internet 22 hours a day and delivering Pizza Hut the other two. (don't ask)

 

[Ericasl]

I know it is so hard you get so mad you could just blow-up. It is true do what is best for the kids. Be the bigger person no matter how hard it is. Have your sons Birthday on a different day, he is to little to know. I know it is not fair and he is just trying to play good daddy right now. You could drive yourself crazy with this my Mother always says pick your battles. As for your step kids mother just be happy as a clam she is moving, and pray she does not move back, and be the best step mom you can to those kids they are going to need you. I have 3 step kids of my own, there mother is also a nut job Thank God my ex lives in Ca and has not seen my 2 boys in over a year, and They call my DH now Dad and I think they have forgot about there birth father. It is very hard I know put the kids 1st they are all that really matter. Sorry try to look on the bright side, there has to be one, without your ex you would not have your kids. Someone told me that in the middle of my divorce it made me mad at first but then it sunk in.

 

[turnerstar31]

I have to agree with seismic wonder2. I am also a child of divorce and it is really hard on kids. If there father wants to see them don;t fight it because they love him to even if you are having problems with him. you can always celebrate a birthday a different day. To a kid just have a day of their own is good. If you make your kids feel like they are a problem with things like this you are going to run into a lot more problems.

 

[wegotchickens]

When dealing with my ex I remind myself the the Lord must have great plans for my kids, to have so blinded me to what a shmuck their father is....

And I have always been very careful to take the high road and not say ugly things about him even when he says ugly things about me.

Been divorced for 7 years now. And now I'm seeing the results of my efforts. The oldest knows her dad is a schmuck and is drifting away from him. I'm the only one who can 'control' her. And because I can 'control' her, her father is nicer to me than he has EVER been!

I still have to bite my tongue not to tell him what a screw up he is. And I make my oldest spend time with him because he's family.

SoccerMom, please relax. I have felt your rage before in my own heart. Let it go. There will be a time when he wants them on 'your' weekend and you'll want to say no. Trust me on this.
Kids love having multiple birthday parties. It won't matter what day. And I know it's a holiday but this one doesn't mean anything to the kids.

Honey, hating him and being in a rage doesn't hurt him at all. It only hurts you. Let go of all the negative energy before it burns you up. Again, I speak from experience.

 

[rroven]

Been there, did that and didn't like it....be very careful, sometimes a parent will just walk away and never see the kids again. That happened with my husbands ex and it was terrible for the kids. Try to give a little, chances are you will eventually get alot back and the kids know who's being fair and who's not. Treat him like you would want to be treated.

 

[BayCityBabe]

Child of divorce, here!
My mother took the high road and she is my hero because of it. She did not bad mouth him or make it all a drama that was all about her. When my dad was a no-show, she'd shake it off, focus on us kids & take us to the park or something. After hearing her say (way too many times) "Your dad does love you & I am sure he'll explain." I figured it out. As much as it hurt to not be his priority, I knew I was her priority.
Take a deep breath, friend, and be a hero to your kids.