I am sooo angry and disappointed with myself!

Discussion in 'Family Life - Stories, Pictures & Updates' started by Momagain1, May 15, 2011.

  1. Momagain1

    Momagain1 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Feb 13, 2011
    Central IL
    Seriously y'all!

    I have to vent somewhere; while most of you will think this is frivalous or whatever, it is so important to me you have no idea!

    In my family, morbid obesity runs rampant! Seriously rampant!

    2 yrs ago on April fools day I decided to do something about it. It was the HARDEST thing I've ever done over the past two years to
    try to lose weight.

    I'm 5'2 and weighed over 186...

    I was in the morbidly obese category. I've had some serious hardships in my life, living in an abuse shelter with a newborn, in a car, being
    homeless, having an alcoholic for a father etc..some abuse in my first marriage etc..why I can overcome those things but not be able
    to completely overcome my weight issues is beyond me!

    I used the Weight watchers program and it has worked fantastic; teaching me how to cook with REAL foods; not processed junk
    in the frozen section or shakes/pills etc...

    but since they switched up the program in January, I've gained 6 lbs!
    I KNOW big wahhh...but from someone who worked so hard and it took months to lose 6 lbs towards the end..this is a HUGE
    setback for me!

    I dont even know what to do; I'm not eating badly, I'm not eating over what I should..heck; I rarely eat extra!
    I havent been able to do my Taekwondo in a few months due to $ restraints due to gas costs...but I'm hoping
    once school lets out, I can do it due to saving $ on gas by not taking kids to school everyday...

    so I am back to 132 on the nose..I was 126...my weight that my doc and WW says I can be is from 109 to 132
    granted I'm in that "range" but I'm feeling fat and unhealthy again...

    I HATE THIS..I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF!!! I worked sooo dang hard and I just feel its slipping away; I can no longer say I lost
    60 lbs...I've lost 56 lbs...ugh...big whoop...

    Now, I'm going to church and will probably cry...and hubby wanted to take me out to a late mothers day dinner...obviously I cant do that...

  2. chicmom

    chicmom Dances with Chickens

    Feb 24, 2009
    Strasburg Ohio
    OH, look how pretty you are! Give yourself some credit, you've gained six lbs, and you're saying, "Hey, I've gotta get a grip!" So don't cry now. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start working on those six lbs!


    Have a wonderful Sunday,
  3. chickened

    chickened Overrun With Chickens

    Oct 2, 2010
    western Oregon
    Sounds like you are doing fine with the weight. Time for a new hobby maybe? Do what I did to lose weight fill my plate as normal and put half back. If you drink a lot of homemade juice you will lose weight in a hurry. You are headed to church maybe a prayer is in order on the subject "My people have not because they ask not" [​IMG]
  4. emptynester

    emptynester Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 23, 2011
    Beaufort, SC
    Having lost 30 pounds and then regained 10 of them earlier this year I can so relate! However, there is hope!! I started keeping a food diary to really watch my calories. My calories had not changed but my exercise had! I had stopped working on my elliptical because it had become boring. So, I started walking instead. Worked great! You haven't been working out lately due to gas$ so you will have to substitute something in it's place, then the weight will drop off again [​IMG] You can do it, look what you have accomplished already!!!!
  5. dkvart1

    dkvart1 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Nov 5, 2010
    [​IMG] I understand your disappointment and frustration.

    If you have been working out regularly the increase can be muscle, that's why scales are NOT the best gauge of health. And weight does flucuate, another reason not to weigh yourself every day. Increase can be due to water retention, pms, time of day you weigh yourself, etc.

    We have a boxing bag and haven't been able to use it here (no way to hang it in garage, we rent at the moment) and while I weigh within a about 9 of pounds of when I work out, my body looks entirely different. When I started boxing I was frustrated because I wasn't losing weight, it's because I was building muscle! BMI indexes don't really account for muscle mass. My DH is 5'9 and when he's working out regularly goes about 190, high by BMI standards, but it's because of all the muscle he builds and the docs aren't real worried about him being slightly over the BMI.

    I no longer focus on what the scale says. I don't worry about it at all. It's rare for me to step on one the past few years, unless at the doc office. Scales never tell the entire story and shouldn't dictate how you feel about yourself. You've done a tremendous job getting back to a healthy weight. I know you feel better and are healthier as a result and look wonderful. Don't let the scale dictate how you FEEL!
  6. 3goodeggs

    3goodeggs pays attention sporadically

    May 22, 2009
    North Central Florida
    Last edited: May 15, 2011
  7. M@M@2four

    [email protected]@2four Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 12, 2008
    First off... [​IMG] I don't normally post on weight issues, but wanted to tell you that you're not alone! My borther and sis-in-law have used weght watchers in the past and lost weight. They just recently purchased new weight watchers meals and were saying that they are GAINING weight on the food. They are exercising, eating smalll quanitities, etc. They just think there's something in the new meals that might be causing them to gain. So, they returned the food and have been losing weight ever since, just by exercising and watching their food intake. Don't beat yourself up! You look amazing! You have overcome so many things in your life...you can overcome this!!! Good luck!!!
  8. speckledhen

    speckledhen Intentional Solitude Premium Member

    You may think I'm crazy, but I do better when I'm not even thinking about diet or food, but keep so busy and keep my mind working on things so I sort of forget about food. If I think about eating programs and exercise programs and always have a weight loss goal and program on my mind, I can't stop thinking about food. Keep the good stuff in the house and get busy on other stuff is what works for me. Thinking about losing weight makes me gain because food is always on my mind. Does that make sense? Activity is my exercise, not jumping around in place in a formal program of some sort. And get more sleep, not less. Plus, stay super hydrated.

    And quit beating yourself up! Think about your total progress, not a few tiny pounds that could be mostly water retention anyway. You've done very well.
  9. HHandbasket

    HHandbasket The Chickeneer

    Good morning, you beautiful and amazingly strong and blessed woman!

    I'm going to hijack a short story here, but this is just to identify with you (not take over your thread).

    I myself made a hard decision a few years ago. I am 5'1" and had tipped well over the 250 pound mark. My BMI was 48.2, and I was creeping... pound by pound... up toward 300 pounds. Both my knees were ready to give out. My doctor told me to walk to lose weight, but it was almost impossible to stand for any period of time with all that weight on my small frame and those itty bitty knees. I was in trouble. I was only 43 years old & well on my way to knee replacements. Also, everyone in my family except me has type 2 diabetes; but over the preceding 3 years, my fasting blood sugars had gone from a healthy level of 70-75 to a new "low" of 99. My blood pressure was also sky-rocketing... 145/96. Before I realized it, I was I was 44 years old, 260 pounds, and 5'1", and when my doctor sent me for a cardiac evaluation, I had the heart of a SEDENTARY 62-year-old woman.

    No more messing around. I, too, went on Weight Watchers. I lost 16 pounds in 4 months... doesn't sound like a lot, but I was really proud of that. Then I plateaued and got stuck.

    Long story short... on April 10, 2008, I underwent gastric bypass surgery. It's NOT an easy way out or a quick fix... don't let anybody kid you on that front.

    I have gone from a size 24/26 (and even those sizes were pretty snug) to a size 6. Over the last few months, though, like you, I've been up & have been fluctuating between 133 & 136. To some, that may not seem like a big deal... big whether you lose weight with Weight Watchers, gastric bypass, lap band, Jenny Craig, any medically-supervised program by your physician, whatever your method... IT'S ALL JUST A TOOL, and it only works as well as we use it. I have not been using my "tool" (my bypass pouch) correctly. I've been eating okay but too many white carbs. I'm still eating the right number of calories but the wrong KIND of calories.

    I look at feel my best at 124-127 pounds & have not been able to get below 130 except for once since the beginning of the year. I know it's because my activity is decreased. You mention you don't have the $$ to attend your martial arts class, but you know the moves and can still work out and practice at home by yourself. Yes, it's easier when you have the support of a teacher and classmates, but you do what you can when you can. [​IMG] Maybe take a look on craigslist or in the Meetups groups online for folks in your area that may want to get together and power walk or some other physical activity that will not create an additional expense for you.

    It's good you came here to blow off steam... no better place than here because folks here will support you. Lots of us are there with you, and we can all do this. Think about your health and do what you can to stay as active as possible. I know that's what I need to do.

    Keep us posted, and best wishes to you and big hugs! [​IMG]
  10. Gardengirl 2011

    Gardengirl 2011 Chillin' With My Peeps

    Mar 3, 2011
    Central Florida
    I hope you realize just HOW powerful you are! The obsacles you have overcome are tremendous, and some that most of us have never had to endure. Kudo's to you for THAT! Now.............can't you just switch back to your original WW plan? It sounds to me like WW needs to re-adjust their plans and hopefully have been made aware that the new one isn't working.

    You can do it, and I know you will.

    I am proud of anyone who has overcome a weight issue no matter how they did it. Just when I started to get serious about dealing with getting back to exercise I land myself with Plantar Fascitis and it hurts to walk.[​IMG] But I have a video to use and I plan on getting back at it and just working through the pain. I'm sure part of the reason is due TO my weight.

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