I can't be the only one...

[Amanda0609]

I know I can't be the only parent that refuses to buy a ton of stuff for my kids for their birthdays or holidays. I do get them gifts however I try to make the birthday or holiday about family or the reason for the holiday. I didn't buy anything for my youngest when he turned one because he didn't need anything. He has tons of clothes and of toys. Instead we had a very nice dinner and cake. My DH took a day off work and we all spent the day together. For Christmas I buy my kids very few gifts and never spend more than $100 total for both of them. And I tell people don't buy my kids stuff, if I invite you to their party its not for the gift its because I want your company at the party. My family and friends all think I'm crazy. I really don't think in 20 years my kids will remember that I spent a ton of money on their birthday and they got everything they wanted but they might remember that they got whatever they wanted to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner and we spent the day together doing fun things. I just left my sisters house and her kids are literally swimming in toys, they couldn't play with everything they have in a week! I went over to pick up a birthday present for my i year old. She spent about $20 on junk. I get so tired of junk. My husband and I don't buy each other gifts for Christmas or birthdays, we decide on things we want and save up for them. To me a birthday or a holiday should be about spending time with the people you love, not the gifts you get. Not to say I don't enjoy certain gifts, to me homemade things have almost always been my favorite. I would much rather have a hand made quilt or sweater than some over priced thing from a store that everyone else and their dog has.

 

[Jess N Jeff]

Try this one on for size. My birthday was always the week after school started (september). My mom would say that my school clothes were my birthday presents....so not fair.

My grandma would always make it special for me by buying me one small gift, but she would make me the best breakfast in the world. She would wake me up with a cup of hot chocolate and snuggle me up to watch my favorite cartoon while she was cooking my breakfast. It was awsome!!!!

When it comes down to it...I would give up all the gifts in the world if I could have one more breakfast birthday with her.

Love your kids, thats what makes life worth living.

 

[PineappleMama]

DS's is Wednesday... he'll be 12... he's getting Karate Kid I, II, and III... and a cool dagger I got on ebay for $10 INCLUDING SHIPPING... it's really cool... then, prolly Saturday, I'm going to take him and his friend to the mall for lunch, see the newest Karate Kid or maybe Shrek 3, and maybe let him choose one thing as a gift.. we'll have to see. Party wise, we'll be going to In Laws on Sunday for Dad's Day/B-day for MIL and DS... a few gifts from DHs side, supper (usually burgers, maybe steaks) some cake, tadaa done.

But tell that to the Grands... good googly boogly the amount of CRAP these kids have... and that I've got to find a bloody place for... sheesh.

 

[teach1rusl]

AMEN!! If more people had that outlook, then less people would be in debt (I can't imagine charging up a credit card to provide Christmas!!!). And you're right. When my son is an adult, I hope that he will remember the things I've taught him and our time spent together as much (or hopefully moreso) as the material things his father (my ex) gives him.

 

[Amanda0609]

Quote:
See that is what I was talking about. The smallest thing like your grandma making you breakfast and watching your cartoon is what you remember. That's what I want my kids to remember, little moments that are special not gifts.

That is so sweet. I don't have any stories like that. I grew up with an abusive parent. The other one tried to make up for it by buying me everything. I would take a memory like that over all the stuff I was given as a kid any day.

 

[suzettex5]

Youre definately not the only one!!

To share a little- In our house,our kids tend to get little things all year long, its just the way it is around here. But, because of that, I choose not to do big birthday parties, nor do I buy them lots of stuff, and I dont buy them super expensive stuff either. Most young kids are really happy with a few cheap toys, I've found they break the cheap stuff as fast as the expensive stuff, so I just dont waste the money. I agree, its the memories that are important, not the stuff. Yes, kids need a few toys, but not TONS of them that they will soon forget, or they get so much they cant even play with them all. I've had the big parties in the past, and I havent done one of those in about 5 years, the next big party will be when my daughter turns 13, and that day will be a family trip to Disney land.

My step-daughters were spoiled rotten and as a result they are very careless consumers who are chronically unhappy, and nothing gets them excited anymore. They have just come to expect that their 'list' of wants will be filled, and they dont ever get suprised or excited about any gift. Not very satisfying for the gift-giver, I must say.

I dont mind splurging once in a great while, but I would much rather be out having fun and enjoying our lives together, than bribing my kids with gifts and toys so they will occupy themselves, by themselves. I think all kids really need or want are 2 things: love, and your attention/time, those are the best gifts in the world! IMO

Besides, who needs bunches of toys when we have hilarious, chaseable, chickens to play with?!?!

 

[michickenwrangler]

You're not the only one.

My daughter, age 5, is an only child and also an only grandchild. My parents feel compelled to buy her lots of things since she is the only grandchild and even if my brother and his wife had kids, they would be all the way out in California.

Hoewever, our house is only 600 sq. feet. We do not have room for a 2/3 the stuff that they buy. I would prefer that they get her a few quality items rather than the "princess sets" of many, many tiny plastic pieces that seem to get underfoot like caltrops in the dark no matter how much she picks them up. She likes puzzles, her wooden train set, a few dolls, a few horse toys, a few farm animal toys and a large stuffed horse get the most play time.

Honestly, most middle and upper class kids have too much stuff.

I'm with you, a nice family day together. Usually DD will help me bake a cake and pick out colors for icing and we take her out to dinner. My parents usually come up and that's when the chaos begins.

 

[jojo@rolling acres farm]

You're not alone. I refuse to fall into this trap. My kids - boys 18 & 16 get what they need when they need it. We may go out to eat. No big birthday gifts or outpouring of cash. I may bake a cake or brownies.


My younger brother's birthday is exactly a week after mine. We didn't even get out own cakes! We shared - my half was pink his half was blue. We also didn't have running water until I was 12. In general, people today are very, very spoiled...not only kids.




Joni

 

[Amanda0609]

Thank you! I was starting to feel like a crazy person. I honestly don't know what I would do without this place. Everyone thinks I'm weird for just about everything I do. No one has understood why I got my chickens

It totally made my day to know I'm not alone in this.

 

[Dar]

Quote:
I/we do the same thing.... and i get so much flack from my family and friends about it..

for my kids birthdays its usually family. last year for my DD's b=day I rented a projector and a screen and we watched rented movies outside like a drive in. her friends (3 of them) slept over and they slept in the tent... no party games and stress and I asked the kids parents not to buy gifts but instead its a pot luck. I provided the movie and the cake... someone else provided the food, and the third took the girls out for breakfast @ mc donalds one of the parents provided the drinks for the girls.

my ds birthday.. we went into the city and watched the live broadcast of the local morning show (breakfast television in Toronto) the host and the co-host share a birthday with my son so he got to be on TV for his birthday

I hate all the garbage and stress associated with traditional birthdays and holidays.

for chirstmas 2009 we did buy gifts... we went to Cuba