I can't cull! What is wrong with me???

We have lots of roosters as well. Its the last time I buy straight run. We plan on taking them to auction. Last week the roosters were going for 12.00 a piece. I can't say for sure but anyone who pays that surely wouldnt eat them thats a very expensive bird. When we get birds or animals here we tell the grandchildren right from the start they are for food or they are for keeps. It helps if you have that mindset when you get the animal. At least it does for me. We also name ours Sausage, Porkchop, Hambone etc. With the turkeys we only name the ones that will stay. Culling is hard but a fact of life on a farm. That doesnt stop me from trying to help injured aniamls if i can.
 
I started with a few hatchery birds knowing I would get extra males for warmth. I got 7 easter-eggers. I also had an order for BLRW chicks from a breeder. Well I have hit the point where the easter eggers need to go. They have started plucking feathers off my BLRW cockerels. I killed one a week ago. It was alot easier than I thought it would be. My boyfriend agreed. I de-brained and then cut the veins in the neck. It went well. It seemed the most peaceful way to have him go. We are planning on doing a few more on Wensday, now that we got the hang of it. And soon the BLRW roos will be safe again. Until there are too many of them.
 
You are not alone by no means. My dh got the hachet out the other day and went to sharpening it and I said "what are you doing", lol, knowing full well what he was doing he said "I am bored",
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yeah ok. My stomach started churning right then and there, I started to tear up and I said "you can't do that with me here".....
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I am such a wimp. I have got 3 roo's that need to be "gone" and I just can not do it and can't stand the thought of dh doing it either..
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That is why they are still in the back yard.
 

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