I had my feelings hurt today...

[ruth]

Let me get this straight - A "friend" of yours, who you already know is a gossip, is also "friends" with the neighbors (or at least talks to them) and feels the need to come to you and tell you that these neighbors are bad-mouthing you but she's defending you and is only telling you these hurtful things because you might be mad at her if you found out later that she knew about them and did not tell you?????

Think about that for a minute.

A true friend would do no such thing. In fact she would have made introductions for you and had you all over for a meal or something.

As suggested, I would take them some fresh eggs or homemade cookies and walk right over and introduce yourself. Apologize that it took 9 months. Make NO mention of "I heard you were upset with us...or don't like us." I don't believe they ever said it. I think your "friend" just likes to stir up trouble and spread gossip. In nine months you haven't gotten a chance to really know this woman. She could have real "issues" - like needing to be your only friend. Has this friend helped you to meet others in town. Has she organized a gathering so people can meet you?

I just moved to a really small country town in December and within a week a lady was knocking on my door to introduce herself. She then invited me to a ladies group she was in and called me a few times just to check on me. Then she organized a dinner with a few other couples and invited us over to meet her friends. That's what a true friend does. And if this woman or any of her friends have heard any gossip about us (and I'm positive they have in this one stop sign town) - NO ONE has ever said a single word except all the GOOD things they've heard about us.

 

[okiemommy]

I think it's very important to know yourself and what kind of person you want to be, and stay on track. Don't let someone else's hate and nastiness steer you off of YOUR course.

AMAZING words of wisdom...as were the last two posts.​

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
She's not friends with the neighbour. The neighbour is friends with the mother of a boy-my freind's son plays with. My friend called the mother regarding the boys, and neighbour was there. When neighbour found out who was on the phone, knowing she is freinds with me-- she let her have it.

My friend has introduced me to others here in town, and truly, she is a freind, albeit one who has a big mouth. After thinking about this all night, I believe she truly has my best interests at heart. She did like your friend--introduced me to others, and kept calling to include me in things. She just felt it was something she couldn't keep from me.

 

[ruth]

I still say the neighbor has never met you and doesn't know you personally. You have never met the neighbor and don't know them personally. You live next door to one another and I assume you plan on living there a long time -let's say the rest of your life. Well....the rest of your life is a long time to go on being upset with someone that you don't know (that applies to you and the neighbor) and having others spread the "they don't like you because....." gossip that sounds an awful like third graders.

My advice still stands. Don't get caught up in the gossip mill. Go next door and introduce yourself. Doors swing both ways. I'm always surprised at people who have lived somewhere 20 years and never met their neighbor because "they never came over when we moved in"....well....did you ever go over there? There are all kinds of cliches that apply - Be the Bigger Man - Kill them with Kindness - or my personal favorite: "Love thy neighbor" That last one wasn't a suggestion - it was a command and one issued by someone whose sandal strap I'm not fit to carry.

 

[SpottedCrow]

Very nice, crtr...and Ruth too...
At least you could figure out what you felt that the reason was behind your dislike of the Bible Study person..it takes a great big person to be able to get around that...

I did get a laugh out of Zyklonia's suggestion...I've even thought about it...

Nothing's changed in me, just the way that the neighbours see me...

Of course the "Caution Witch Crossing" and "The Witch is In" signs might have something to do with it...

Editted to add:
My old neighbour, Mr. Joe whom I got on with famously got sick and eventually died...I was upset that he left me, upset that his house was being sold and upset with the new people for moving into Mr. Joe's house...Once he left, it wasn't his house anymore anyways...I finally got over it and we say hi...That's the problem with a close knit neighbourhood especially if you've been there forever...

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
I agree, I don't and won't get caught up in this. We have, although briefly,met. My dh pulled her brother out of a snowdrift beside of our property in March, and she came over when her dog killed my rooster. She offered to pay for it, and I said forget about it--it was an accident. My hubby and her hubby talked on a few occasions, but he left for work out west a few months ago. I hve brought over mail that was put in our mailbox by mistake, and she was always pleasant. I had absolutely no idea she was harbouring these feelings. I guess this is why I was so upset.

I usually have to brood over things for awhile to sort out my thoughts. I can't and won;t change how we live our lives,--we do nothing wrong, and are good people. Hubby will go over and talk to the guy about the dogs, but other than that, it's her choice whethershe likes us or not. We are who we are, and if she has a problem with that--its HER problem.

I do think, however, that a barbecue this summer is in order, and she will be invited. I will continue to be who I am , and I have nothing unkind to say about her.

although I don't know too many ppl here, when I meet them, knowing they may or may not have heard her rant about me, I will jsut have to be myself, and they will have to decide whether I am worht knowing or not.

Now, she is just someone else I have added to my prayer list. and that's about all I can do at this point.

 

[joebryant]

Maybe your neighbors are not interested in being "neighborly" and just wants to be left alone.

 

[miss_thenorth]

Quote:
that's the way we were looking at it. I alway waved whenshe went by, but her windows were tinted so never really knew whether she waved back.

I'm all for giving ppl their space. Always tried being friendly,not expecting to be friends.

 

[dixygirl]

Yes bake some cookies or cake and take it over. Jokingly apologize for your dog getting loose and ask them to inform you if it happens again.

Sit down, pull out the bible, put on some reading glasses and start quoting bible scriptures about the fires of hell and sinners. Show them that you are above reproach and leave them with the impression that they are sinners doomed to blazing fires of HELL!

Ask them about their church going habits and seem slightly disgusted and disappointed regardless of whatever they say, Excuse yourself quickly and say you must leave that you left a roast in the oven. Look at them very disappointedly and with a shocked expression. As you are leaving, pause, turn around and say I will pray for you and go on. Act like Tammy Faye best let a few tears run down your cheek. Let them see you running and making the sign of the cross as you leave their house. Don't worry about ever seeing them again. They like the rest of us are just walking pieces of meat, waiting to rot, stink and be devoured by maggots and worms.

You effectively put back on them whatever moral BS they are trying to put on you.

PS Here are some bible verses you can bookmark and read off to them, in case you need help finding them.


Tell them you came over because your bible told you that:
Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19:34 But the stranger that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself; for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God.

Tell them that you are washed in the the blood of the Lamb
Are you washed in the blood,
In the soul cleansing blood of the Lamb?
Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

(BUILD UP A CRESCENDO, Let the energy get higher with each line)

Are you walking daily by the Savior’s side?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Do you rest each moment in the Crucified?
Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?

( At the peak of the crescendo let the tears roll down your face but don't wipe them)

Say I cried God "Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow."Psalm 51:7

Tell them that there are two faced people that are destined for the FIRES of HELL!
(Luke 16:22-28)
22 . . . the rich man also died, and was buried;
23 And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
24 And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25 But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
26 And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27 Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father’s house:
28 For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.


Luke 16:24 cries: ". . .I am tormented in this FLAME."

In Matthew 13:42, Jesus says: "And shall cast them into a FURNACE OF FIRE: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth."

In Matthew 25:41, Jesus says: "Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting FIRE,. . ."

Revelation 20:15 says, " And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the LAKE OF FIRE."

(LIFT UP THE BIBLE and wave it in the air..Tears still on the face. Say
"My name is written in this book. Is your name in this book?")

Ask them if they are READY for the day when HE will come? Say you are ready and you've got to go now to check on your roast but you will pray for them.

Just get up and leave quickly and don't say anthing else.
They will probably ask you to speak at their church and want to be your best friend.




PSS Do this regardless of what your own religion is. Whether you are Jewish or Pagan even. Attend a Christian Church regularly. While there keep the expression on your face like you have to fart but are trying to hold it in. This will fit in very well with the surroundings. When you look at them, see them for the frauds that they are, but smile at them regardless. Have as little contact with them as possible because it is not worth it. When you do have to see them make them think you are one of them but always know that they are evil hypocrites and have to live up to your standards.


Quote:
Zykloniadark is saying the same thing basically except i would whip these silly little people with their own book first and leave them to fry in their own hell and then go on about your own life and don't give them a second thought. They will be maggot food soon enough.

Remember, you are there to enjoy your farm. Not to get involved with the small minds of little people. Leave them to their own... whatever.

 

[MTtroutwithwings]

Quote:
I agree, I don't and won't get caught up in this. We have, although briefly,met. My dh pulled her brother out of a snowdrift beside of our property in March, and she came over when her dog killed my rooster. She offered to pay for it, and I said forget about it--it was an accident. My hubby and her hubby talked on a few occasions, but he left for work out west a few months ago. I hve brought over mail that was put in our mailbox by mistake, and she was always pleasant. I had absolutely no idea she was harbouring these feelings. I guess this is why I was so upset.

I usually have to brood over things for awhile to sort out my thoughts. I can't and won;t change how we live our lives,--we do nothing wrong, and are good people. Hubby will go over and talk to the guy about the dogs, but other than that, it's her choice whethershe likes us or not. We are who we are, and if she has a problem with that--its HER problem.

I do think, however, that a barbecue this summer is in order, and she will be invited. I will continue to be who I am , and I have nothing unkind to say about her.

although I don't know too many ppl here, when I meet them, knowing they may or may not have heard her rant about me, I will jsut have to be myself, and they will have to decide whether I am worht knowing or not.

Now, she is just someone else I have added to my prayer list. and that's about all I can do at this point.

I haven't read all of the input but here is my two cents worth...
First of all congratulations are your decision to move to the country with your family (we did the same, your story practically parallel mine but w/o bad neighbors) some people, when threaten, usually generated by low self esteem, feel the need to cut off your head to make themselve look taller.
They will try to draw you in to bring you down to their level. The best response is NO response. For all you know, you may not be their only victims, check around to see if they have a bad habit of doing this, it may be the BULLY mentality at work here. As previously suggested, just continue being yourself. Hopefully when they realize their bullying efforts are not having any effect, it will stop. Continue being neighborly. Until they physically get in your face and tell you to leave them alone (which these type of people won't) you'll eventually wear them down and it will all be good in the end. And if not, you had nothing to lose anyway but unfortunately, THEY DID!
Keep smiling!!!!