I hate being used for babysitting......

newchik715

Songster
10 Years
Aug 31, 2009
331
0
119
Washington
So I have this friend of a friend. I have known her for years but we have never been close. We just have a mutual friend and so we see each other all the time and get along. Well she was in a real hard place so I offered to watch her kids a couple of days a week as I was in school at the time and the ability to do so. Eventually she got her situation figured out and did not need me anymore so we stopped speaking. Then she needs childcare again so she calls. I agree. We make plans to get coffee one day and she blows me off. Calls me again after for sitting purposes. I love the kids and I watch them for her. Then things get even worse for her and she is getting a divorce. Wants me to watch the kids while she sees a lawyer....no problem. She tells me the whole story and I want to help. I have never turned her down before. She calls me today to ask if I can watch the kids while she has another appointment and I have already made plans for today so I say I can not. She gets mad and says fine....i will have to call around then and hangs up!!!! Are you serious?!?!!? After all I have done in the past? The one time I make plans and am not there for you you get mad at me? Sorry guys just had to vent on this one!
 

Arcnadius

Songster
9 Years
Aug 1, 2010
376
5
109
Western WI
Hopefully it's the stress of the divorce and not her true nature. If it is an indication of her manners, than what have you lost in her not talking to you? You'd get a huge hug from me for all the past help!
 

newchik715

Songster
10 Years
Aug 31, 2009
331
0
119
Washington
i know. it has to be the stress from the divorce. it is a violent divorce and there are young kids involved. I just had to vent here but I would never say it to her! I know hse needs support and forgiveness now.....so i will tell ya'll how i feel used and then i will get over it!
 

cluckcluck42

Songster
10 Years
Oct 4, 2009
1,635
8
151
Quebec
I would not be doing favours for someone who does not have the time of day for me. Sounds like they are just plain selfish.
 

ChickensAreSweet

Heavenly Grains for Hens
9 Years
Jun 8, 2010
15,100
699
398
Pacific NW- where the Douglas Firs grow
I think it is great to forgive and forget. BUT-

I don't let people get close (emotionally) to me again who repeatedly hurt me. It's self-defense. Then I just try to forgive and forget.

Do you need self-defense here?

I couldn't tell you, as I wasn't there to judge. I have very purposefully and kindly told people that I am busy when I didn't want to go out with them again.
 
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newchik715

Songster
10 Years
Aug 31, 2009
331
0
119
Washington
it's awful....but I love the darn kids! I WANT to watch them....I just do not think she a right to be mad at me when I honestly can not watch them. I already made plans and it is a fun thing for my daughter so I am not willing to change these plans.
 

silkiechick236

Songster
10 Years
Sep 29, 2009
395
1
111
Oklahoma
hugs.gif
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country lady

Songster
11 Years
Nov 8, 2008
693
1
154
NW Tennessee
You sound like a "good heart" and she sounds like a "user." I would value a friend like you. I would lose her. No matter what her circumstances are, she has no right to be unkind to you. Why doesn't she "use" your mutual friend or someone else--maybe because she can't?
 

MeatKing

Songster
10 Years
Sep 13, 2009
1,216
15
188
Near Ottawa Ontario Canada
It sucks, for you!!!
hugs.gif


I do wonder what the circumstances are like, why if she needed you she didn't ask sooner? Or was it a last min. omg, the ex hubby is pulling this, and now I have to do... yesterday,..

It does sound like she's a user.. but we all can be given the right circumstance..
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just to put myself in some elses shoes.

With that being said, I would call her.. And ask her. What was going on? And tell her, that she really hurt your feelings, you've never treated her that way.. So you expect the same good treatment as you give her..Ah, maybe I'm a sucker.. but I always too often then not, give the benfit of the dought..

Maybe my advice sucks!! lol I am known for being a softey!
 

quintinp

Songster
9 Years
Oct 22, 2010
2,067
26
171
Southern Oklahoma
wow i feel bad for you, i go to my dad's house once every other weekend, then i go over there, and he doesnt do anything, but harass me about how he has to pay child support to my mother, then at night he leaves at about 8:00 and goes out drinking, then i have to watch his kids, my little brothers, do ya'll think this is fair??????????
 

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