I have a bad family.. Not sure how to feel about this.

Moochie

Songster
9 Years
Nov 8, 2010
1,747
34
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North Edwards
Lemme explain family. Dad and dad's first wife - My two half brothers
One half brother and vietnamese lady- My in-law (half in-law?)
Dad and my mom - Meee
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Mmkay well half brother and his wife are terrible.. Two-faced people ya' know. I was in their car and they both were saying how stupid of a lady my mom is. Commenting on our small house, our "backwards" ways of having poultry, how "poor" we are blah blah blah. Oh well sorry my dad is a veteran and doesn't make as much money as you, he doesn't work for a computer software company and then wastes the money on re-modeling your already huge house in lovely possum filled Irvine.
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Sorry our two story house in nothing compared to your "luxorious" one. My mom invites them to stay over and they always say "no thank you". That's sort of insulting. And I'm also sorry that you wasted your money and building an extra room for silly reasons. Honestly, it's like a house to just show off to people.

I also hate how BOTH of my brothers said nothing when my dad asked them to take me in if anything ever happened to him or my mom. We no longer talk to them for their selfish ways...
And what kind of in-law gives my niece and I sandwiches for DisneyLand? Your rich but you only offer us sandwiches.. Not even good sandwiches.. And no mayo? Their fridge was empty!! Just lettuce and ham? At the time I was too nice to say anything. I wanted to tell them that I didn't like common sandwiches. :I I like their large house, I like my niece (who is older than me), and I liked DisneyLand, but my niece was annoyed with me when all I wanted to do at DisneyLand was watch the ducks at that ship attraction.
Anyways, I can't relate to my friends who talk about their close bonds with their family. It's only my mom and dad. My mother's side apparently loves me, but most of them don't speak english. My dad's side is has people who loathe my exsistence. How should I feel? Right now I feel nothing towards family other than my parents. Is this okay?
 
It's hard to feel something for people who are nothing like you... I'm not close to my family either and it's healthier that way ... For me anyway... Too much drama

So yes, it's ok.

Hugs!
 
I have no use for people with money that think they are above everyone else. I've had money and I've been poor, doesn't make you any different on the inside. To be a good person you have to be good inside whether you have money or not.

Downgrading your mother and your home in front of you shows exactly who they are. You will be fine with or without them. This is only a decision that you can make in your life and what I would do that was right for me, might not be right for you. So, go with your heart
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I would be very grateful that neither older half brother wants to take you in. It would be awful to have to live with such shallow people. If you are in your teens now, I would ask for emancipation if something happened to your parents. That way you will have choices about where you live, and hopefully be able to keep your pets.
 
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It is good you are taking a critical look at the behavior of family.You need not tolerate them at all.Surround yourself with those who make you feel good.Cut off those who bring you down.It is OK to do that with family.Some think you need to tolerate the verbal abuse,because it is *family* after all.That is not true.Don't waste your time trying to change others,or explaining things so others see you differently.

ANYONE who would put down my mother would be kicked to the curb.Don't put up with it.It is sad when the jerks are family,but you just acknowledge the way they are and then tell them "adios".

Instead of having family take you in in the event of an early parental death your parents need to get some life insurance going.This way when they die you will have money to take care of yourself.Just be sure the legal papers are in order otherwise lame family will claim you just for the money.
 
Oh and make sure your name is added to the house deed.Survivorship deed is good.This way you can avoid probate court if you are next in line for the home.
 
Unfortunately, we can't choose our relatives like our friends. Most of us have stinkers, I bet. You have every right to avoid the ones who are snarky. It sounds as if your mom has class if she is still trying to be hospitable to your father's first family. You don't say how old you are. Your parents really need to put in writing their wishes for you. If your parents think these people are mean spirited now, they will be many times worse without your parents to defend you. Mattemma is right about your parents having legal papers to protect you. I'm assuming your father is much older than you if he has grown children. Hang in there, kiddo, and have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents.
 
Don't worry, be happy. All families have toxic branches, ignore and avoid (when possible) the toxic ones and do what makes you happy. Having chickens and a garden is looked down upon by a lot of people who just don't get it. I'd rather be feeling the sun on my back working in the garden hearing the chickens clucking away then working in a suit & tie in a cubicle struggling to keep up with the Jones/mortgages/credit cards/etc.
 

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