I need some help from byc members.

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schellie69

schellie69

Songster
10 Years
Oct 8, 2009
4,077
18
211
Kansas
I have had a really bad time since Friday I went to my pain specilist on Friday that was a great day spent time with DH checked out a few new feed stores. I had a great time. I pull up and not even to the door when my DD comes out and says my MIL is on the phone and they are coming from CO on Saturday.

I wait for DH to get off the phone and decide to go spent time with my baby chicks and find that they have all been killed by my DS's puppy she found a week spot in the new coop I was using for their grow out pen.

In laws show up Saturday evening I spent all day Saturday cleaning the house. I have June Cleaver for a MIL last time she came for a visit it was a total nightmare. So I spent Sunday with her planting my garden and then Monday morning they left.

I was just so stressed and exhausted I have not been me since. I went to look at the new chicks today, That did not even cheer me up. I am just not sure what I want to do. I am trying to figure out if I want to buy more chicks or try and find the breeds I really want which is Easter eggers for blue or green eggs and Marans or welsummers I want the really dark chocolate eggs. The problem is finding someone that has chicks or starter pullets in my area.

I just feel like I am lost and don't know how to get back to feeling better. I have no idea why things are getting to me right now. I do feel like my MIL judges me since I was not her choice for her son, I never measure up and I always feel like she would like to see me go away.

Just need to vent and write how I was feeling. I am hoping that somehow I can get myself back on track. Just hate feeling like this. Thanks for reading this. Any advice or prayers would be greatly appreciated.
 
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I'm sorry about your baby chicks
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Also sorry you sound like you're down in the dumps with everything going on...as far as the MIL- you may never please her...but remember, you didn't marry HER...she just comes along with the package, and such is life...don't stress yourself out trying to make her happy, and instead focus on what makes YOU happy...remember, the only person you have control over is yourself...

As far as getting more chicks- if it were me, I'd get the breeds I actually wanted...have you checked Craigslist and any ads at the local feed stores to see if anyone has any young pullets?
 
I had an incident a week earlier with a puppy as well. I take for granted how well-trained my adult dogs are, and I didn't think he could get in the cage... Well he figured to dig a hole and killed 3 of my favorite (and most expensive) birds.
I had a mini-breakdown and swore I was going to kick all the dogs to the curb.

Well, I didn't. I just got really mad and sad and then when I calmed down I made a plan to ensure the same thing couldn't happen again. I still have little feathers floating around the yard to remind me of that tragedy.

Live and learn, right? You'll find some new peeps and fortify their house and just move forth because life doesn't stop.
 
I've been divorced eleven years and still have nightmares about my mil. If she is only in town
once or twice a year, then count your blessings and just consider it your time to sacrifice for the greater good
and remind yourself you can redo everything to your satisfaction when she leaves. Two alpha females
under one roof is going to be tough anyway you might as well use it as an opportunity to develop personally.
Just tell yourself its your time to see how tough you really can be. Remind yourself, kindness is not a weakness
but a great strength. Either that or drink heavily. Sorry about the poor chickies, very depressing.
 
Thank you for all the kind words. Thanks to my DD who went to tractor supply and found not only the SLW that I wanted but also some EE chicks. I ended up with 7 new babies 2 SLW and 2 EE's plus 3 Bantams they all have feathered feet. I am just so happy. I do feel better now. I got the breeds of chicks I wanted this year. The bantams where more for my daughter if they turn in to roosters either I will post on CL or we will have them in soup. I hope their all girls. I will post pictures later. Thanks again. I am glad that I only see my MIL once in a while. It is just so hard to have everything perfect all the time.
 
I really hate to brag all, well not so much.....My MIL is pretty good. We have had our head butts, but all in all she is greater than she thinks she is. I wish I could let her know how good she is. She doesn't cook and doesn't help me cook when they come ove but it does not matter. I'm going to cook anyway, I enjoy people eatting my food even if they don't help. She is there talking to me while I cook, and cleaning up. (The dish washer isn't that tough!) I'm really lucky to have MIL like her.
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Shellie sorry about all that transpired over the weekend for you. Glad to see you got the chicks you wanted and are feeling better.

I learned long ago that people will think what they think and I'm not responsible for that or for their happiness. If MIL likes being June Cleaver let her have at it. Don't let it bother you or change how you live to accomidate a person who is less than embracing of your relationship with her son.

Truthfully I think that's what bothers these women the most.. is that their son, who once adored them, didn't marry someone just like them. And some MIL's , no matter who the wife is will resent them, even if they are pefect in every way. They feel threatened and never learned to deal with the fact that their little boy grew up and no longer "needs" them. You'll never win those women over, they are what they are. Just be thankful she brought your husband into the world and that she only visits once in a while.

Remember Her son picked exactly who HE WANTED... YOU! Your hubby is happy and that's all that matters, not what she thinks.
 
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Thank you, your words mean a lot. One of his reason for marrying me was because his mom did not like me at all. Now my FIL loves me and thinks I am perfect for my DH because I just let him be him. My MIL wanted my DH to wear a suit and tie work in an office ect. My DH is not that type of person he loves working with his hands he was a heavy machine operator for our local county road dept. Now he machines parts for farm equipment and he loves his job which makes me happy. I am grateful to my MIL for having my husband and I respect her for that but we will never be the family that she wants, we would be the most happy on a farm. So hopefully some day we will and she can just accept that we will never be in the circle she wants to put us. Thanks again for all the help. It means a lot and I am feeling like me again.
 

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