I need your opinions....

[HeatherLynn]

I would not discuss it at all. If they bring it up again, tell them its something the two of you have worked out between you and it will continue to be dealt with just like that. Between the two of you. It has no bearing on the family and does not change your beliefs. End of discussion.

If they choose to stop speaking because of that, well thats very sad. If they are Christian and have issues because he is not then they are taking the wrong path. Rather than act that way they should try to be a glowing, light up the world example of Christianity. They should encourage, accept and love him and hope something rubs off. You can even point that out. I would not be saying it that nice if they are actually considering snubbing for this. All I have to say is that family can suck at times, well most of the time. I can also say that too many times Christians can be pretty rotten too. hush hush I am one too, that how I know they can be that way. You grow up among this and you see some very hard hearts sitting in those pews. Anywho besides the point. Don't make it a discussion where you are trying to convince. Put it in front of them its you lifer and then make it clear that the discussion about it is over. You love them but this is your decision and your issue to deal with. period!!

The pray pray pray is more for you, because you will need guidance with this type of relationship and there probably will be some issues to deal with. Honestly though its your path and your business. Just be very matter of fact and maybe they will get the hint and there will be no arguements.

 

[Knock Kneed Hen]

I would ask your Christian family to read Matthew 7:12. I am one of Jehovah's Witnesses and my DH is a self proclaimed atheist. I don't love or respect him any less because of his beliefs. We've been married almost 12 yrs., live under the same roof and have 5 children. Jesus ate with tax collectors, prostitutes, and Jews. He accepted ALL people and gave his life for ALL people. Remember that calling yourself a Christian is to be "Christ Like". You could be a wonderful example to your SO!!

 

[cmjust0]

Quote:
Ok...the reason I asked is because bad SO's sometimes make it their mission to alienate their partner's friends and family in order to remove support systems so they can have more control. Had you said he made it a point to let your family know he was a non-believer and then "encouraged" you -- by saying "tell'em to shove it, baby!" or even just "standing by you" -- in the decision to break off contact with them, I'd have been suspicious that the future might prove him to be controlling and/or abusive.

Since it was a casual mention and he doesn't even know there's an issue right now, it's looking more like the other way around....like your family is trying to alienate you from your SO. Moreover, you mention of how these particular family members aren't typically supportive of you, aren't really close anyway, and now they're "disowning" you, making you consider your level of faith, etc -- those *are* abusive characteristics. They're attempting to control you.

Just out of curiosity, is there a history of abuse in play with these family members? It seems like they're good at it, and usually that means you've grown up watching how an abuser operates...

 

[redhen]

"Sad to say..but those family members of your dont sound very "christian" to me..
And thats just what i'd tell them if they brought it up to me again..

I would also tell them that his religion or non-religion is really NONE of their business..period.
Just enjoy your SO..and be happy with him..

They can stay miserable and judgemental if they like... but dont let it bring YOU down..

 

[debilorrah]

It's people that act like that that give Christians a bad name. I swear some people who claim to be of faith COMPLETELY forget one of the 10 rules is to LOVE. Hello??

Terrah, it is YOUR relationship, not theirs. Since they have already decided to disown you, at least you won't have to tell them to butt out.

 

[PurpleChicken]

To some people this is a black and white issue. To me it's not. Everyone has a religion. Your religion is how you view the world. Science is a religion to some. To many Christians you either believe what they believe or you are a heathen and nonbeliever. Muslims are even worse but this thread isn't about that so I won't go there.

T, you know me and I must honestly say I would not date a woman who's spirituality conflicted or was too different from my own. I'd never date an atheist either. Eventually it would destroy our relationship since I believe a person's spirituality, not religious affiliation, it the most important indicator of who that person is.

Ok, let's move on a little. We all have beliefs. I'd start by looking at the things you both believe in. Maybe those things are love, compassion, family, etc. Does he believe in a power greater than ourselves? Does he attempt to define it? Does he think about it at all? Spirituality is a lifelong journey we are all on.

If you're going to make this work than focus on your similarities and similar beliefs. Try to understand and accept each others beliefs or lack there of.

As for your family I agree with many others here. If someone will disown or just disrespect you because you make a choice to date someone different from them well, too h*ll with them.

 

[chickaddict]

Quote:
x2 - says it all