I think my navy son is an alcoholic

[gpamela3499]

I think my Navy Son is an alcoholic. I want to help him but he is in the Navy and very depressed. I do not want to ruin his career by trying to help in the wrong way and get him in more trouble by inquiring about his welfare to the wrong people (superior officers) I do know he has been drinking way to much and threatening suicide. Can anyone with help please give me suggestions? I live two states away so I can do more than make phone calls. Is there any help within the Navy or on base that he or I can get help from before he ruins his career but that won't cause problems.
Thanks

 

[scbatz33]

If he is threatening suicide, he situation is beyond the point of worrying if it will "hurt his career". He needs help and you should do everything you can to get him that help.

 

[farmerlor]

Quote:
I wish Greg was here, he came home from the army and was very nearly an alcoholic but he would have some good advice for you. I don't know much about the military politics in spite of being in a family that's ALWAYS been involved in the military.
I think if it was me, and it isn't, I'd go to him and take him to an off base doctor and see about getting him on some anti-depressants. If you could get him some leave time (and I have NO clue if that's possible) and stay with him while he dries out so the anti-depressants can kick in that would be great. But depression in the military is common and if you have any family members with depression it's time for him to see someone.

 

[HHandbasket]

My husband is ex-USN *and* ex-USCG. He is in court this morning giving a deposition for an accident he witnessed a while back but will be home in a while. He may have some information to point you in the right direction.

I didn't know Farmer Lew when he was in the Navy, but I do know that he drank a LOT in the Navy and that seems to be what happens to a lot of people who go into the Navy. They visit exciting ports of call, and the #1 most important thing on their minds when they need a little R&R is hitting the bars. For some people, that's the beginning of an alcohol problem and seems to be pretty common in the USN. I'm sure they have programs that can help your son.

You're a good mom.

Sometimes, though, when someone has a drinking problem, we need to step back. You can check the websites for Al-Anon (for families of alcoholics, not for the alcoholics themselves--helps YOU deal with what's in front of you). There is great information there. Find a local Al-Anon meeting and attend. Doesn't mean you have to keep going. Just go and listen--trust me, you won't be there long before you hear YOUR story come out of someone else's mouth. Then you don't feel alone in your thinking, and you'll be supported by others who have been in your shoes.

Good luck, and I'll post again or have DH post when he gets home. Hugs to you!

 

[herefordlovinglady]

I google a couple of things and found this web site, there is more to read out there than just this one.

thought i would start you off here

http://www.thecyn.com/blog/drug-addiction-help-for-navy-and-families/

 

[Steve_of_sandspoultry]

When I was in the navy had all kinds of support programs etc. If it affected your job proformence or you got in trouble with the law you had no choice and had to be screened. All he has to do is say the word and get help no questions asked. If he isn't a drama king and is talking suicide then by all means contact his command and ask to talk to the Command Master Chief. He or she will get the ball rolling.

Steve
USN vet.

 

[farmerlor]

I'd be more worried about the depression and threats of suicide myself. We need some action here, I just don't really know what action needs to be happening.

 

[dandelionheart]

Quote:
Ditto. Alcoholism is one thing, threatening suicide... may mean that alcohol is his way of self-medicating a serious mental health issue. I would be more worried about keeping him alive than his career. I understand your hesitation because you love him and want what is best, but I am worried that if you act slowly or with reservation that it may be too little too late.

 

[easttxchick]

Saving his life is more important than saving his career.
I understand your concerns, but he needs help.
God bless your son and your family-I'll pray for you all.

 

[gpamela3499]

Thanks responders. My son was here for Christmas and drank a lot here too. I don't drink much (a beer on July 4th, or wine at an Easter dinner). I had to tell him no more drinking or he would have to stay at my daughters house. He has asked to come here for visits and I have no problem with it except I am in Ca and he is in Washington state. He just got out of boot camp and this is his second placement the first was in Pensacola. He is really unhappy and recently got in a fight with an officer he is now restricted from phone calls etc. I think he is trying to get thrown out. (that will make things worse I know) If I went to WA I don't know how I could contact him or get on base anyway so I need to have some kind of contact there to help.