I think my navy son is an alcoholic

[redhen]

Quote:
I wish Greg was here, he came home from the army and was very nearly an alcoholic but he would have some good advice for you. I don't know much about the military politics in spite of being in a family that's ALWAYS been involved in the military.
I think if it was me, and it isn't, I'd go to him and take him to an off base doctor and see about getting him on some anti-depressants. If you could get him some leave time (and I have NO clue if that's possible) and stay with him while he dries out so the anti-depressants can kick in that would be great. But depression in the military is common and if you have any family members with depression it's time for him to see someone.

This is what i would do...
I would go to him and take him to a doctor, OFF base..

 

[gpamela3499]

Thanks everyone.
Right now my son is on restriction on base and can not make or receive calls. I am going to take everyone's advise. I have been reading the articles and will start making phone calls in the morning. I feel really guilty whining about this when some people have children being intentionally shot at in a far away place. I guess I should feel luck though that he close so I can try to help him.

 

[PineappleMama]

I don't know about advice but I can offer some hugs. Having been raised by alcoholics and related to others I know just how hard it is to watch someone you love slide into that. My number one rule when it comes to alcohol is Never Drink When Upset. It's just too easy to slide into always drinking when you're upset. Bad enough I smoke you know? He's a lucky fella to have such a loving supportive parent. Just keep up that support, that understanding, and we'll all be pulling for him too.

 

[Heckel's Hens]

Quote:
Ditto, if you can! First is an assessment so you know what you are dealing with and then you can go from there. But, if possible, dealing with it outside of the Navy, would be a helpful START. Sooner or later his COC will know, through gossip, job performance, etc.

And not everyone in the Navy is a drunker sailor. LOL A lot of guys use that as an excuse to go wild. My hubby is Navy, had his wild early days at foreign ports

and is now a boring adult.

But it really boils down to who you hang with.

Good luck to you and him! He will be in my prayers.

 

[calicokat]

Good that you are making these calls today. Saying prayers that you find the help and resources to assist him!

Don't forget to check out Al-Anon for you. It will be a very big help as well, especially with your son so far from home.

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

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We are hoping and praying for him that he will make a full recovery and have the opportunity to be all that he can be in the Navy! He is blessed with a mom who cares about him enough to intervene and stand in the gap for him!! It's great that he cannot leave the base right now. Your calls may help his command understand what is going on with him as it sounds like there are issues already. They don't want to discharge him...they want to help him.

Praying God's richest blessing on you as well....

 

[sfw2]

Quote:
It's not whining - it's reaching out. As the wife of a retired Navy Chief (thankfully, he missed the alcoholic gene so prevelent in his family) and the mother of three "adult" children, I wish you and your son the best.

 

[seismic wonder2]

I am a Chief Petty Officer still active duty Navy (20+ years)
send me a PM message thing. I'll do what I can to help.

Getting help for alcohol dependancy WILL NOT ruin his career. Actually the training and schools he will get will be a good mark on his evaluations.
It looks even better is he "Self Refers" and goes straight to the command master chief and tells him/her "I have an alcohol problem I can't fix. I need help NOW" they will spring into action and get the help he needs through the Command DAPA (Drug-Alcohol-Dependency-Advisor) ALL commands are required to have one and they are REQUIRED to provide confidential help to anyone who asks WITHOUT FEAR OF REPRISAL.
What WILL ruin his career is a DUI/DWI, any alcohol related incident such as a bar fight, being late for work, being drunk on duty, coming to work hung over, so on, and so on.
The Navy is cracking down on undesirable behavior and they will use any reason to discharge a sailor. Asking for help is not one of those reasons.

It's too late to ask for help after he gets into trouble....he has to get help BEFORE anything happens.

Contact me, I'll help you help him.

 

[terrilhb]

Sending prayers and hugs to you and your son.

 

[seismic wonder2]

Quote:
Damn!
That means he is already in trouble.
Restriction is awarded as a NJP (Non-Judicial Punnishment) If a sailor does something wrong he is called before a DRB (Disciplinary Review Board) of Cheif Petty Officers (like myself). The DRB determines if the offence
1. Actually happened.
2. the severity of the offence.
From that we determine the results. either deal with it there of refer that matter to Captain's Mast

For instance, the first time a sailor is late for watch he goes to DRB an would receive a verbal repremand.
If the sailor just didn't show up for work at all. It would be determined to be an unauthorized absence and sent to captains mast for NJP.

At CO's Mast it is common to be awarded things like 30 days restriction, 45 days extra duty, all the way to recommendation to be separated from the navy for serious offences.

If he's already on restriction he needs help NOW!
Call the base commander, or better yet, the Navy Chaplain. They WILL get you in contact with the CMC (Command Master Chief)
Last resort is a Red Cross Message if you can't get in contact with him. Red Cross messages get really high priority.