I want a small backyard flock. Should I start with 3 or 4?

3 is my favorite number and my friend only has three but one just got taken by a dog!!!
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so i guess she only has two? ...I was going to get only 4 for a small backyard flock the same as you...but now I have 9!!!
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I'd do 4, going on the assumption that you're getting them for eggs.

Of course, I'd planned to start with 3, so I got 7 (1 rooster) to make sure that I had extra if some died. All lived, and now I'm planning on adding two more.

So to summarize: you're doomed.
 
I got started with chickens last summer and got 3. I'm very happy with my 3 and don't plan to add any. The three are also really bonded to each other and get along great. Three are easy to care for and its very quick to clean both their coop and run daily. I just get a pooper scooper and scoop up the poo and put it in the compost pile.

Although I read a lot about different breeds when selecting what 3 to get one factor I did not consider and I wish I had was broodiness. I have three hens, no roosters, and so no fertile eggs. I got a barred rock, an orphington, and an ameracuna. I really like the personality of my orphington, but apparently they go broody much more frequently than the barred rock. So when you think about breed characteristics, also think about frequency of broodiness. Based on my tiny sample size and short time frame of experience, I highly recommend barred rocks. They are very friendly, excellent egg layers, and are apparently broody very infrequently.
 
I wanted and ordered 5 all female and ordered from My Pet Chicken. Received 5 healthy chicks all female. Sure I'd love to have more but I carefully planned out coop size, run size, and "not overwhelm me from the start" size. Someday maybe when I live somewhere else with a few acres, I'll get more. For now, 5 is perfect. I also didn't want to order more than I wanted in case one died, because then I'd have the task of finding it a home within the first 20 seconds of arrival....after that I'd be a goner....too attached to every one the second I peeked in the box at the Post Office. I'm sure if one had been a roo, our house would have a for sale sign on it now cause I just wouldn't be able to re-home him!!
 
perhaps its already been mentioned, [i didn't read all the way through everything] but why don't you just find someone willing to sell you 3 adult hens. You could probably find them at the age right before they lay, they might cost a bit but if your only buying 3 thats not a huge issue.
 
You can tame adult chickens if they're the right breed. Some of the breeds are super calm, and some are super stup -- I mean flighty.
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Do your homework -- read "get addicted to BYC and spend all your time here" and it looks like you're well on your way to that level -- check out all the breeds and the breed threads.

Especially the breed threads. You might decide you want a particular breed, and you'll find someone on one of the threads that might have some spares they'd be willing to let you have.

voila! You're in business!
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