If you could communicate a thought to your chickens, what would it be?

As much as we love them, chickens can be frustrating. If you could communicate a thought to your chickens, what would it be?

Most of their chickenly behaviors are understandable and not too difficult, but today they are driving me crazy. It's hot, around 95F. This isn't abnormal for our summers. Our two five year old hens, Becky the barred rock and Lucia the buff orpington, know the drill. Our heat is dry, so evaporative cooling works well. I turn on the hose, running a mister in the shade and the convenient hose leak wets a large shaded area of dirt. They wade in the puddle and stand in the mist. When I turn the hose off and the water seeps into the soil, they dig bowls in the wet dirt and lay in the cool soil in the shade. Our eight new orpington pullets(5 chocolate, 3 lavender)...have a lot to learn. They wander into the sun, they are offended by wet dirt under their feet. They have their beaks open with the heat. One followed Lucia into the puddle and immediately closed her beak and looked more comfortable. She promptly *walked back into the sun*. If I could communicate something to our chickens, it would be stay in the dang shade and stop being afraid of cooling water.

What would you communicate to your chickens?
Why do you girls make everything so hard for me???
 
The hedge is not the place to hatch babies. Meet Shirley the disappearing Pullet who has 2 just hatched chicks and more eggs under her. I found her by hearing and following the peeping of baby chicks. She somehow escaped the notice of the coyotes last week when they had a pack party right out front next to the hedge.
 

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The hedge is not the place to hatch babies. Meet Shirley the disappearing Pullet who has 2 just hatched chicks and more eggs under her. I found her by hearing and following the peeping of baby chicks. She somehow escaped the notice of the coyotes last week when they had a pack party right out front next to the hedge.
My girls like to hide under the St John's wort... about the time I try to do a head count
 
"I love you, just know you will be thrown off of me or my blanket if you step on it with poopy feet!"

They might know not to poop on me/blanket but they sure don't care if they use me as a wiping cloth :rolleyes:

Another one is to stop digging up their bedding entirely... I give them extra in a 3 inch lip, push it down, and they love it normally. However, when laying they are going to scratch down to the peel and stick tile and have 0 bedding under them. Funny thing is they don't kick it out, they just kind of cover themselves with it? One can barely see them in there :confused: When they leave, I'm digging to the bottom of the bedding to find the egg under there!
 

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