Is it Wrong to have a "Crush" on Someone if You Are Married?

[Chickie Mamma]

Hi.. I would never "act" upon it... but why do I feel guilty about having this crush? I have been married almost 12 years and the last 2 have been anything but "happy".

 

[sheila3935]

The reason you are crushing on someone is because you are not happy. You need to evaluate your life and make a decision on what you want out of life and what will make you happy. You need to talk to your husband about why you are unhappy. Sometimes(sorry men) but men are clueless. If you dont let the know there is a problem then they go along thinking everything is ok. If your life is abusive you need to get out. If its just arguing then the two of you need to figure out what the problem is. Thinking about another will only make things worse.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
I am going to be very blunt here. I hope you are not offended. Your marriage is at a bad point right now, and you are seeking attention that you are not receiving at home. You are looking at another person with the same eyes you looked at your spouse with once. Your marriage needs attention. Every relationship goes through rough patches, and the ones that make it are the ones that pay attention to those rough patches and heal them.

If you eventually act, the same rough patches are gonna come up. Relationships are about love, respect, and communication. Practice those, then tell us what happens. Or not. Your choice.

 

[Funky Feathers]

No, nothing wrong with that. My hubby likes Julia Roberts, and I like Denis Leary, Dennis Hopper, Rutger Hauer, Kevin Bacon, Alan Alda, Brad Pitt, etc.... No problems in our Marriage.

 

[Sir Birdaholic]

Quote:

Is it a secret crush on me?

Here I am at my finest!

 

[Chickie Mamma]

I hear ya... we just have nothing in common anymore, and he thinks my hobby is a "joke". I know I shouldn't feel like this, and it bothers me, but I think of how happy I "could" be sometimes, and I wonder if I "could" be happier

 

[Cetawin]

That is a tough one...but if it is a celebrity type thing...of course not, that is fantasy. If the person is attainable, tangible and there, yes that is a problem.

You feel guilty because you know it is wrong, you are in a committed relationship for better or worse. As long as that bond is there, you should feel guilty. You really need to evaluate the marriage, your position and decide if you want to stay in the marriage, for the right reasons. Only you can decide that.

Good luck to you.

 

[BellLisamo]

I believe everyone thinks the grass is greener on the otherside... however the grass on the otherside is completely dry, infested with bugs and not worth it. (LOL that sounds bad). But it is so true. Try to remember what sparked the relationship in the first place. Why you two got together. What attracted you both. You need to find a spark again.
I've been there....

 

[Chickie Mamma]

Quote:

Is it a secret crush on me?

https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/uploads/44102_p3060002.jpg
Here I am at my finest!

You are HOT... and there would be something wrong with me if you are not

 

[Judy]

Quote:
I am going to be very blunt here. I hope you are not offended. Your marriage is at a bad point right now, and you are seeking attention that you are not receiving at home. You are looking at another person with the same eyes you looked at your spouse with once. Your marriage needs attention. Every relationship goes through rough patches, and the ones that make it are the ones that pay attention to those rough patches and heal them.

If you eventually act, the same rough patches are gonna come up. Relationships are about love, respect, and communication. Practice those, then tell us what happens. Or not. Your choice.