It finally happened to us

[dkvart1]

I had probably one of the nastiest aunts God ever put on this planet and she was horrible to my grandmother! One day gma told my mom she'd like it if the aunt came and took her for a little ride, so they could visit, as she hadn't seen or talked to her in months. My mom called her sister and my lovely aunt told my mother to tell her to "go to He!! and get there the best way she could." Real piece of work that one. No surprise she died miserable and alone.

Maybe for your gma's sake you should just ignore what is going on. Having the aunt's attention at the moment is probably giving her some pleasure, so what's the real harm? My bet would be part of the motivation on aunt's part is to irritate you, some folks are just like that.

I know it's hard, our family has always cared for our elderly as long as was physically possible and family's can be a downright pain in the behind with all their drama and pettiness. We always just considered the source and let it go.

I know it hurt to hear your gma say these things, but as one poster mentioned it could have been a result of failing faculties. It also could have been just to agree with a disagreeable person, who right now she wants for whatever reason to have contact with.

I wouldn't give another ounce of energy to the comment of the aunt... it simply isn't worth it. From my perspective I'm not going to let anyone upset my peace and calm and if I keep running with it that's exactly what they are doing, letting them make me as miserable as they are!

I don't mean to sound like I don't understand your hurt and frustration with the situation, I do, and I feel for you having to go through it. I'm just saying the best thing to do is let it go. Old people say things they don't mean all the time. I worked for years with the elderly and 1/2 the time they never remembered saying what they did! Even my dear mother as she got older said things I knew she didn't really mean, I just had to let them go or drive myself crazy with the "why"...

Good luck dear.

 

[weimarmama]

Believe me, we don't comment negatively on anything that's going on with my grandmother & aunt. If we did, we both know it would result in my grandma buddying up with my aunt even more. We just try to ignore it & stay out of it as much as possible. And I doubt it's the AD that's making Grandma say negative things. She's always had these times where she would have falling outs with us over silly reasons. And over the years, even when she has been in with us, she's just always been the type of person that doesn't really care if what she says hurts our feelings or grandad's (when he was alive). We learned a long time ago to try not to really pay attention to it.

I guess we were both just a little shocked, though, because Grandma has always acted like she loves the farm & it was the first time we've heard anyone say anything negative about the farm. She even bought my Dom chicks for me last year, so it threw us for a loop. And I guess I'm not looking forward to hearing the rumors my aunt will spread about us & everything we're doing. I know she'll probably end up telling everyone that will listen to her that we have 100 or 200 chickens & 20 grown ones running loose in the house. We have 37 chickens, 19 of those are chicks, & 7 of those chicks are in a brooder in my bathroom.

I know there's not a support group in our town. We've tried to talk my grandmother into going to the Senior Citizen's Center for a couple meals a week & to socialize, but she won't go for it. I think we'll try again after everything settles down a little with my aunt. She was diagnosed with AD last fall, & we've had lots of experience with it in the past. My grandad was diagnosed with AD 7 years before he died, & my great uncle that we were close to was diagnosed probably 10 years before he died. They were both just a little more easy going & easier to deal with it, though.

Thank you, though, everyone for just letting me have a place to vent about it.

 

[cassie]

When inaccurate rumors about me have gotten back to me I react in one of two ways depending on the situation and who is relating the information to me. One I simply ask how they know this and why they would believe it to be true. Or I add to it. Like "You heard I had 50 chickens? That can't be true. There are at least 100....etc. " I have a niece who thinks I am a combination of the devil incarnate and an axe murderer because I raise and process my own meat chickens. I do what I can to further her opinion of me.

 

[dkvart1]

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