Many many years ago, I was taking leave and visiting my parents in Cape Coral Florida. I was helping my dad one morning and opened the garage door. You know how garage doors have like those, I guess you could call them ledges that run across. them? Well unknown to me, there was a snake on the ledge thing. As the door opened, this SOB slithered off and right down the back of my T shirt.
You think Hulk Hogan and those WWF sissies are impressive ripping their shirts off? Oh I can guaranTEE you I had them beat by any stopwatch in the world!! It's not so much that I am afraid of snakes but not knowing what TYPE of snake it was... THAT was the fear factor. In my tiny little hillbilly mind, I am picturing this 40 foot rattle snake, copper head, water moccasin, coral snake, Cape Coral Serpent of Death... snake, etc etc down my shirt heading for other unspeakable regions to do the unthinkable!! Me running down the driveway screaming and ripping my shirt off while doing the heebie jeebie dance. Thank god there were no camera's around to capture THAT magic moment....
Aaron
You reminded me of the time I was gardening & suddenly felt several stinging sensations of European Fire Ants on my thighs & upward towards my underwear, you know that tender area of skin, where leg meets body...yeah, I never tore off a pair of pants so fast in my life! Right there smack in the middle of 2 acres, in broad daylight, then I commenced to doing a version of a Chicken Dance, trying to brush those little stinging bast@#ds off, which isn't easy because they hang on while still stinging!
Of course, all 10 of my Roosters saw me going nuts & naturally began sounding the warnings, Full Blast! CROWING & BAAACH, BACH, BACH, BOCK BOCK BOCK, COCKLEDOODLE DOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
All hens simultaneously joined the symphony CLUCKING AS LOUDLY as they possibly could.
Naturally, Any neighbors or passerbys would've undoubtedly turned to look, why every critter here was raising such a ruckus...and would they have seen? A crazy bird lady jumping, flailing & running around with no pants on! Pale sunless legs, too. Quite noticeable.
Well, at least I always took mom's advice seriously, you know about making sure ya wear decent looking undies, so when you get in a car wreck & they go to put you in a hospital gown, they have a better opinion of you, due to your fresh, clean, new looking underwear.
I honestly don't know which time is most embarrassing for me or most memorable to my neighbors...this Fire Ant incident, or the time I was chasing off a hawk, running around swinging a broom yelling, while wearing only a towel, cuz I happened to just get out of the shower after sweaty gardening & caught a glimpse of Mr. Hawk zooming in for the kill, after my young Pigeons. Luckily, I managed to swing a broom with one hand & hold the towel on with the other. Yeah, I remember as a kid how funny Streaking was in the 1970's, but I was never tempted to join in. I nearly did that day, though.
