I've got some for you :P

[Forrest_Flock]

While serving as a meteorologist at a naval air station, I noticed that contractors had been busy painting the corridor outside my ofice. On the door, under the words "Meteorological Office", hung a sign saying "Wet Paint", to which an anonymous hand had added, "Becoming drier later".

I have more where that came from just got to find them

-FF

 

[TeriyakiChicken]

 

[Forrest_Flock]

Business conventions are important as they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without

 

[Forrest_Flock]

Boats waiting to enter a lock on the Thames River: Gin Fizz, Whiskey Galore, Tequila Sunset, Rum Swizzle and Cirrhosis of the River

 

[babymakes6]

Quote:
THAT is the best one!

 

[Forrest_Flock]

yes i loved it too

especially how it goes nicely with the other boats...

 

[Forrest_Flock]

A funeral was being held in a small town for an old lady who was famous for bossing her children around, henpecking her husband and having an extremely volatile temper. It was a sultry night, and as the service drew to its conclusion, there was a loud clap of thunder and lightning streaked through the sky. "Well," commented one of the mourners. "She's got there."

 

[TeriyakiChicken]

 

[Forrest_Flock]

A man tipped out the coins in his wallet to find some dollars to pay the cashier. She commented on all the foreign currency he was in possession of.
"Yes, I'm an international airline pilot," he said.
"Ooh, a pilot! How exciting!"
"Not if I do it right," he replied.

 

[magicpigeon]

Man I have a lot for you...

What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.



What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.



Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be Hell.



Why do men like smart women?

Opposites attract.



How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.​