I've had ENOUGH of Martha Stewart!

[NYboy]

Wow I wasn't going to post on this thread, but feel I have to. I have been grooming her chows for many years. Frist Paw paw now Gk. She is a great animal lover and will do anything for her pets. No body ever talks about all the money she donates. Big business is still a mans world,a woman might have to be a b-t-ch to get a head.

 

[aubreynoramarie]

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No I am 100% positive that she is still good at everything domestic, whether or not she has the time to visit the home she owns near you.
Hollywood is the last word I would use to describe my hero Martha. While she may not have time to tend all of her gardens, I'm sure she spends her freetime tending a garden somewhere or creating delicious home cooked meals or creating clever and inexpensive home accessories. I'm positive she doesn't spend her freetime laying in bed all day and snorting coke all night.

 

[michickenwrangler]

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No I am 100% positive that she is still good at everything domestic, whether or not she has the time to visit the home she owns near you.
Hollywood is the last word I would use to describe my hero Martha. While she may not have time to tend all of her gardens, I'm sure she spends her freetime tending a garden somewhere or creating delicious home cooked meals or creating clever and inexpensive home accessories. I'm positive she doesn't spend her freetime laying in bed all day and snorting coke all night.

Of course she doesn't. You missed my earlier post about this woman not having any faults. God, if she did that kind of stuff, I'd at least know that she's human and not a disguised super alien sent here to make all Earth women feel inferior to her flawless paragon of perfection.

 

[elizabethbinary]

I hate her voice so I read her website for ideas, I like them. She had a great one for recycling an old door into a gorgeous headboard which saved me like $200 because I got the door from a junkyard and already had the paint and nails. Voila - sexy headboard!

I try to watch her shows and I just end up getting really bored.

Edit: People compare me to her all the time too, which kinda bugs me. Yeah I jam, bake, can make anything from anything else, soap, reuse, build and craft... but I'm like a busty McGuyver, not Martha! D:

 

[emmalynn]

I got this forwarded to me obviously at Thanksgiving and just about had a senior incontinence moment laughing my a&& off.

Thanksgiving with Martha Stewart

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you in advance, so you won't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of tribal drumming or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method of just screaming at the top of our lungs: "Come and git it."

We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like.

In the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances, enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will still have a choice, take it or leave it.

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either.

 

[RoeDylanda]

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Yes!! This! Except not so much busty in my case.

Now I kinda want that on a t-shirt-- "McGyver, not Martha."

 

[elizabethbinary]

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Yes!! This! Except not so much busty in my case.

Now I kinda want that on a t-shirt-- "McGyver, not Martha."

I ain't busty either, but I'm busty compared to McGuyver!!

Or a shirt that says, "F*** Martha, I'm McGuyver in an apron." (the picture can be a Swiss Army knife with a canning lid coming out of it)

 

[KristyHall]

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That is why I admire her, she built an empire alone, and continues to thrive.

 

[KristyHall]

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[wolftracks]

I didn't start really liking her until after she went to jail. I watched most of what was going on during her trial and she made the perfect scape goat.

If you look at numbers from that case she barely put a dent in the amount she held in shares when she pulled money out. She lost a way more than she saved.

While everyone was watching Martha going though court, the eyes were off of all the crooks that managed to get away and she got to take the heat.

I used to have a catering business and worked at a resort hotel and worked catering off and on there too when things were slow for my department. I made very good money, but Martha made all this money and started out as a caterer. She's brilliant and has brilliant people working for her to help her make even more money.

I don't watch her much, because most of the crafts she has are too cheesy (btw acccck on the American Cheese...lol) and her voice does get to me. I have heard her give compliments to people, but not enough. She's a perfectionist. She gets frustrated when someone isn't doing it her way, but thats just her OCD coming through. I tend to do the same thing and I have to catch myself and realize that I'm doing it because I don't mind showing someone how to do something, but I tend to want them to do it at a faster pace or I lose what I'm doing. Just have to take a breath and slow down for them.

Boy right about now I want either some smoked Gouda or...oooooooo baked brie! I love Brie.