Quote:
Absolutely! I read this thread sometimes because I need to see that I'm not the only one trying to make tough choices. You guys give me ideas and inspiration!
Vent away!!
The hardest thing thru-out the years of a very low income and doing without is.....
missing out on family events that everyone seems to effortlessly be able to partake in because of seemingly bountiful resources....
for instance....
Not being able to attend family events/holidays/trips because no money.
When my son graduated from boot camp in San Diego we lived in Texas....we had to borrow money from the MIL just for plane tickets/hotel room for 2 nights and could barely scratch up enough for food while we were there. His celebration dinner was at In&Out, thankfully, that was what he wanted for his first 'celebration' meal while on leave. Borrowing money from MIL is always 'risky business' because of the power trip that always came with it. It is really demeaning to have to ask anyways but MIL always had a knack of making us feel like a bug that could be squashed at anytime and constantly reminding us of that fact. But our other option was to not go and how could we miss celebrating with our son this awesome accomplishment! My MIL even suggested just my husband go leaving me and my daughter behind, like that was a viable option, NOT ! We have always been a very close knit family and that would have been worse than none of us going.
My sisters decided to throw a big party for my parents for their 50'th wedding anniversary a couple of years ago, while I was so happy that they decided to take on this expensive venture, and even tho nothing was said (to my face at least) that I was not able to contribute anything to this event. I was still humiliated at the fact that all the guests were greeting my sisters letting them know what an awesome party it was and what good daughters they were for doing this for them. Not intentionally but consequently I was left out of the whole planning process as they all live within a mile of each other in the Houston area and I am about 4 hours away in the Dallas.
I have been unemployed for about 2 months now and am the only regular income in the family, husband is disabled, my niece (in the Houston area) just graduated from college and I had to decline the invitation and the opportunity to spend this time of celebration with my family because I could not afford the gas.
So, now that I have been able to rant, although money does not equate to happiness and is not just about things, it can be a great tool to bring people together for celebration and fellowship.
Money is relative. As in the more money you have means you have more relatives
One year DH and I were having a severely bad year. (Long story) and our loving family decided to hold the big family reunion for my side of the family. Both of my parents are deceased so I really wanted my kids to get to see the gathering from my side. But, in his infinite wisdom wealthy uncle butt hole decided to have the reunion on a CRUISE! Of course he paid for his children and their families and then bugged the daylights out of the rest of us over how we all needed to go just incase it was the last reunion various elderly people could make.
He was right. My kids never met several elderly family members. But, we did not have the money. Period End of story. He wanted us to go into debt for this and we were just not willing to spend $5000 on a a trip when we were at risk of losing everything. The timing was just horrible. I still question sometimes if we made the right choice, we recovered financially. But, I remain angry at him for putting that pressure on us. Poverty is relative........