Just Sad over what I have to do...Long

[coloradochick]

I knew I should never have started reading this thread. As I sit here crying, I can feel your heartache. Oh boy... This is a tough one. One thing I know for sure is, I would never send one of my babies to get ground up for anything. I would be digging a hole at night if need be. But she would be buried at home. Tell your DH she's been your trusted friend and family member for a very long time and you just cannot do that to her. As far as you DD, Bless her heart, try to do it during the day and tell DD that the mare died naturally. Prayers out to you for everything to work out. Your in a very unfair and heart breaking position right now.

 

[chixie]

I am sorry. we had to put down my daughters horse when she was 5. and It was the hardest choice to do but it had to be done. my heart goes out to you and your family. hugs

 

[bkreugar]

Well I have a small piece of good news.DD's trainer says we can bury her there. Haven;t talked to DH or DD yet as I only talked to trainer this morning.Might be a great option as DD goes to sleepaway horse camp there and has nothing but good memories of there.It is about 60 miles away so I would have to know that mare could make the trip.I think so, but I need to ask the vet.

Yea it sucks all the way around for everyone.

 

[bkreugar]

Thanks all who posted , it is a comfort to know I am not the only one who is or has dealt with this.It is SOOO much harder since I have to consider DD in this.My 38 yr old brain sees it diffently than her 11 yr old brain.But someone posted you need to do what is right for the mare and that is true.We are going to talk about this tonight and this weekend and get on the same page.I can't just let her linger.She is S~L~O~W~E~L~Y losing weight as she is not eating as she should.I have a roundbale in the asture and her buddy, but she mostly naps and eats occasionally.Like I said she seems tired and depressed.

 

[Keg]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. Perhaps with appropriate pain killers she'd be able to make the trip to the camp? I know nothing about horses, but is it possible to get some kind of "sling" to support some of her weight in a horse float?

It would be very emotional, but maybe you could have a bit of a ceremony for your daughter's sake? Bring some treats along for the horse, spend some quality time with her first. Bring some flowers for you and your daughter to place on her grave afterwards. Would DH help DD to make up some type of marker/headstone to honor the horse's memory and help give your daughter some closure, some avenue to express her grief?

I can't imagine how sad you will all be when it finally has to happen, but you might be able to draw some strength from this: Sooner or later, every creature passes away. It is sad, for sure, but you are blessed to have the privilege of making her last moments happy, loving, special moments. So often this is not the case.


Whatever happens, all the best. Thinking of you, stay strong.

Chris

 

[hunterjumper999]

I'd reccomend you NOT let your daughter actually see the mare go down or see her buried. It was heartbreaking for me and I'm still having nightmares... I lost my boy last june and I still dream of him 2-3 times a week.

However, placing flowers on the grave and having a little ceremony can help.

If you have time, could you call memorial places and see how much it would be to have a marker made for the spot? that way when your DD goes to camp she can visit the mare and she will be remembered ?

OR Bury the mare at the trainers, get the marker and then have the ceremony. Maybe dad can stay home with DD when you take the horse to the appointment. that way you get your time with your special mare too and DD doesnt have to see the hardest part?

 

[Keg]

Quote:
Sorry, i didn't make that clear in my post - I agree with hunterjumper999 regarding not letting your daughter see the mare during or after she is put to sleep. The main point I was trying to make was about having a little ceremony.


Chris