Just wrote this poem. I edited it some. please check it out!

[TheDuckCrew]

So i just wrote this poem, and i'm not sure if i've finished it yet. the end might come later. but i'd like some input on it. and also if you want to guess what its about, that would be nice. okay, so here it is!


From one dreadful mistake,
Her world starts to spin.
The clouds break,
And seem to grin.

She clutches to what she had,
To what still remains,
To those things that made her glad,
But it is all in vain.

The storm is ultimately supreme,
And her hope is gone.
As the brutal wind screams,
She just prays for dawn.

The rain pelts the earth
Under the dark storm sky.
She doesn’t know what its worth,
But she says her last goodbye.

 

[Eggs4Sale]

I'm no poet, and I'm no poetry critic, but that there's a nice poem.

 

[TheDuckCrew]

thank you

i'm thinking i might want to add a little more onto the end...maybe.

 

[HenPen]

I think it is about a painful loss....Makes me think something raided your coop.....

 

[TheDuckCrew]

Quote:
painful loss, yes. painful loss of animals, not this time thank god.

 

[HenPen]

Its never easy no matter what it is a loss is always felt with the heart....I wish u well.

 

[TheDuckCrew]

thank you, its definately not easy.

 

[TheDuckCrew]

One dreadful mistake,
Makes her world start to spin.
When the sinister clouds break,
They appear to slyly grin.

She clutches with greed
To what may still remain.
On her knees, she desperately pleads,
But all her efforts die in vain.

The storm ultimately proves supreme,
And with sadness, she admits all hope is gone.
As the brutal winds scream,
She just waits and prays for dawn.

Rain pelts the hard, unforgiving earth
Under the dark stormy sky.
She feels she isn’t worth,
That final goodbye.

 

[TheDuckCrew]

do you guys think the end is good? or should it continue?

 

[redhen]

I think it sounds good as is.. Good job! Sorry if your going through a tough time.