Congrats for getting it done the first time! It's hard, but it's a lot to learn. Many folks have gone generations without learning how to make meat from an animal.
It's OK to feel sadness too at the worry of a less than perfect job of a killing. I am a deer hunter, and believe you me, on the rare occasion I make a poor shot on a deer and know it's suffering, you don't want to be near me. I'm moody, upset, bitter, angry, and sad - for days and weeks. My poor husband knows better than to even come near me or talk to me. The main thing though is that I go right back out. If I just made a bad shot, I get out and do some practice shooting. If circumstances just misaligned - a branch in the way, the deer moved right when I was shooting, whatever, I analyze what happened and fix what I can to prevent it. You've done that already - reviewed that the first cut wasn't deep enough. You learned that it's a good idea to get the scald water up to temp before starting anything.You learned a lot, and you did get the job done!
I'm not sure if you've seen it, but I have a link in my signature that goes through how I process chickens. I do all of the cutting work from killing to final cuts with a scalpel (ordered from Havels). It might have some additional tips for the next round for you - I know you can do it!
It's OK to feel sadness too at the worry of a less than perfect job of a killing. I am a deer hunter, and believe you me, on the rare occasion I make a poor shot on a deer and know it's suffering, you don't want to be near me. I'm moody, upset, bitter, angry, and sad - for days and weeks. My poor husband knows better than to even come near me or talk to me. The main thing though is that I go right back out. If I just made a bad shot, I get out and do some practice shooting. If circumstances just misaligned - a branch in the way, the deer moved right when I was shooting, whatever, I analyze what happened and fix what I can to prevent it. You've done that already - reviewed that the first cut wasn't deep enough. You learned that it's a good idea to get the scald water up to temp before starting anything.You learned a lot, and you did get the job done!
I'm not sure if you've seen it, but I have a link in my signature that goes through how I process chickens. I do all of the cutting work from killing to final cuts with a scalpel (ordered from Havels). It might have some additional tips for the next round for you - I know you can do it!