Laugh at ourselves, your funny story.

[maplesky7]

ha ha ha!!

You sound like my mom. When she had a red car she used to try to get in every red car in the parking lot!

One time her key worked the door but she couldn't figure out why it didn't work the ignition.

You think she'd just have to turn around and see, that car was clean and didn't have stuff in it to realize it wasn't hers!

he he he!


me,
g

 

[Ottoman]

A camp stories. When camping I like to sleep underneath the stars on a blanket [fall weather] when some time in the middle of the night, I wake up an am having a hard time breathing. I lay there looking up thinking what’s wrong with me. Then I feel something warm on my chest. I lift my head up and see a small Bobcat curled up nice and snug laying there. I flinch from shock, and the Bobcat takes off like a shot, but not befor digging its claws into my chest.
----

Another one. I had an old refrigerator in a shed that I would put dear hides in it so I could tan them out latter. Well unknown to me the frig died and it sat for two weeks befor I found out about it. You can imagine how it smelled. So! I figure I’ll just take the thing to the dump. And it sat for 4 more weeks and I still did not have time to take it. I ask my two teen-age boys to take it. They get the frig in the back of the truck and my younger son [17] says, “The door on this thing is stuck!” My oldest son [20] yells! “DON’T OPEN IT!”
About that time the frig door opens. My youngest son starts throwing-up all over the back of the truck, in the front yard, and in the bathroom. And all in the time span of 1 hour. That was 4 [10 years now] years ago. And to this day we dare not mention the frig story around my youngest son.

 

[hypnofrogstevie]

This one should make all of you laugh.

After school I got off the bus and was not paying attention. I was waving to my friends as I was walking and BAM! A telephone pole got in my way and hit me face first. I stood there in a daze for a few seconds then walked off pretending nothing happened. Those things pop out of nowhere ya know!

 

[Ottoman]

Another story: My father and myself were fishing in the mangrove in the Key West Fla. We were using live bate [small fish] and I had caught a nice red snapper and almost had him in the boat when a shark comes up and eats the snapper, now I’m fighting a shark on my line because he got hooked I end up landed the shark.
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Back in 1980 I worked on an Island in Miami that was building condos on it. Each day we had to take a boat out to the Island. There was a stretch of beach that when the tide went out had a bout 100 yards of beach open. One morning going to work when the tide was out. There was some guy unloading a johnboat from a small trailer on the beach. We did not think much about it till that evening when we were leaving the Island. The tide had come in, and this guy had pulled his little truck up about 25 yards. All we could see of his truck was the top. The rest of his truck & trailer were under water and this guy was making circles around his truck with his boat

 

[bills]

Hypno's story reminds me of a similar thing that I did.

I was staying at a friends place while on vacation. His guest bedroom was in the basement, of which he was in the process of finishing. Having reminisced, and drinking a few beer that evening, I needed to get up in the night for a trip to the loo. His basement was pitch black, but I did know the genral location of the bathroom. I held both my hands out in front of me, as I worked my way to the bathroom, to stop from bumping into anything. Well darned if I didn't suddenly smash my forehead into a support post.

My hands had barely passed by on either side of it, as it was only about 6" wide. Naturally I started to bleed, and ended up sitting in the bathroom with toilet paper held to my head, as I had no idea where he kept his bandages, and didn't want to wake my buddy up...Next time I will hold my hands closer togeather..

 

[bills]

Let's see, what other goofy things have I done...

Well, once when I was much younger, and at a time before they had locking blades on pocket knives, I went to cut a piece of fishing line. Turns out I was holding the knife backwards, and when I pulled the line across the back of the blade, thinking I was going to cut it, the sharp side of the blade closed down on my thumb...Had to get stitches for that boo-boo.

Another time, while moose hunting, I was walking through a swampy area. I stepped into a deep muddy spot, upon which my boot got stuck. Pitching forward, I then stuck my other boot in the mud, where "it" then got stuck, and then I stepped right out of my boots, and stuck both my stocking feet in the cold mud.

It was a cold, wet hike back to my camp to change socks...but at least I didn't fall on my face..

 

[hypnofrogstevie]

Nice story bills.

When I first started high school I could not tell the bathrooms apart (they did not have signs on the doors). Well as I walked in I wondered why where the walls pink and why are the urinals not in there. Well I made it out alive with no one catching me and was embarassed the whole day.

 

[crtrlovr]

Quote:
The same thing happened to my brother. When we moved to WAY out in the country, we spent the day cutting down small trees to use as joists for a subfloor (which was THE floor for many years) and we laid timber salvaged from an old house on top of the trees to have a flat place up off the ground to sleep that night. My dad awoke in the early dawn and saw a HUGE bobcat curled up on Carl's chest. Thankfully when it realized Dad was awake and looking at him/her, it took off gently and didn't even wake Carl up.

On a (very slightly!) similar note, my husband and I used to run a towboat on the Tennessee River, and we had our cat Freeway on there with us. We were tied up in Wilson Lock (at one time -- not sure if it still is, but was for a LONG time the highest lift lock in the world -- drop is 110') because of dense fog. The pilot (Randy) was on watch in the pilothouse, and laid down on a small couch since there was obviously no traffic around. There was a construction crew doing work on the lock and RIGHT BESIDE the pilothouse was a crane. During the night, Freeway had decided that Randy's chest was a warm, comfy place to curl up. In the early morning, the work crew got to the lock and started up the crane. When it started, it scared Freeway so badly that Randy said if that cat had tires on his feet, he would have been burning rubber! Randy had long scratches to show for it, but he didn't hold a grudge -- he and Freeway were still buddies.

On the Illinois River, there was boat store at Hennepin that was run by two brothers. When they found out we had our cat with us, they would always send out treats or toys for him with our grocery order. That was sweet of them...

 

[Ottoman]

Yall got some funny stories! Thanks.

----
This story I read in the paper years ago. "Frog gigging". Two old boys went frog gigging one night in Louisiana and got a sack full of frog legs. And on the way home there truck headlights blue a fuse. Not having a spear fuse Billray uses a 22 round as a fuse. Headlights come on and there on their way. Well, it’s not long and that 22 shell heats up and “BANG” goes off. The round hits Billray in the privet part. The truck goes off the road and hits a tree. Billray’s friend walks to a phone calls the sheriff and then calls Billrays wife. The wife drives up just as there are putting Billray in the Amulets. The wife runs to the back of Billyrays truck and says.
“I sure hope someone here remembered to put them frog legs on ice!.
----
Back in 1980 I worked on an Island in Miami that was building condos on it. Each day we had to take a boat out to the Island. There was a stretch of beach that when the tide went out had a bout 100 yards of beach open. One morning going to work when the tide was out. There was some guy unloading a johnboat from a small trailer on the beach. We did not think much about it till that evening when we were leaving the Island. The tide had come in, and this guy had pulled his little truck up about 25 yards. All we could see of his truck was the top. The rest of his truck & trailer were under water and this guy was making circles around his truck with his boat.

 

[SussexInSeattle]

In response to Bills experience, I was driving home from my camping trip at the ocean when I noticed a load of cat tails on the side of the road and had not seen any since my younger days growing up in the suburbs of Boston, after too many years stuck living in AZ.

I thought as I passed that it would be so cool to have a couple for dry decoration for my living room. But before I knew it, I had driven right past the last of the cat tails and felt like I should have reacted quicker and so was bummed out.

About a mile down the road, here came another section of cattails and so I was determined not to miss out this time! I pulled the car over, walked around to the passenger side, stepped over to the herd of cat tails and sunk right on in to some nasty freezing mud! I guess the one thing I had forgotten about cat tails was that they needed marshy wetlands to be able to thrive and as I backed out of the swampy ick, my shoe stood there all by itself as if caught in a venus flytrap.

I had a nice one-shoe, two hour drive home, good thing for floor defrost! And washable tennis shoes.