Lea's Life ( Finished! Last chapter and epilogue up!)

[Dapplepony]

Quote:
Thanks for the info, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter. And it's the rising sun...

 

[horsecrazychicklovingkid]

Quote:
Thanks for the info, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter. And it's the rising sun...

Um, I put rising.

 

[horsecrazychicklovingkid]

Quote:
Thanks for the info, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter. And it's the rising sun...

Um, I put rising.

The herd slowly made their way from Gypsi's final resting place, away, away from the rising sun illuminating her grave. They were going west, west where every night the dying sun cast it's blood-red rays upon the far horizon.


What I put implies that it is morning and they are going in the direction where the sun sets every night. It says "West where every night the dying sun cast it's blood-red rays upon the far horizon" not "west where the dying sun cast it's blood-red rays upon the far horizon".

 

[Dapplepony]

Quote:
Thanks for the info, I'll keep that in mind for the next chapter. And it's the rising sun...

Um, I put rising.

Meep! kk. sorry.

 

[<3ChickenForever]

Quote:
Haha thanks!

 

[horsecrazychicklovingkid]

Quote:
Um, I put rising.

Meep! kk. sorry.

 

[Dapplepony]

Chapter Eight
Traveling

"I hate moving." Grumbled Lea, a two month old foal, to no one in particular. "I really do." Feather sighed, her foal wasn't the same since the wolves attacked and killed her Friend Gypsi. Now Lea was alone, The only foal in the herd.
Why did she lose her life for the herd? Wondered Lea. I don't understand. Lea sighed, It was no fun in the herd right now. Everyone was always plodding along or resting. No one was talking, They all were strained from the journey.
They were in the desert. Water, grass and shade were scarce. It was hot and sunny out. They were almost to the place were they would winter, and foals would be born in the spring.
Not this spring, but the next, Lea would have to pick a mate to sire her foal. Lea was sick of the walking, when, all of a sudden, dry, bare desert, became lush, cool forest.
Water ran through the area. All the horses trotted over to the nearest stream and drank their fill of water and settled down to graze.

They had arrived.

 

[Dapplepony]

How's that? Is it better?

 

[Magic Birdie]

Quote:
Yes!

 

[Dapplepony]

Ok. thanks for all the feedback!

*starts humming the song "FeedBack" *