Lipstick problems/the perfect woman

Discussion in 'Games, Jokes, and Fun!' started by cjeanean, Jul 26, 2008.

  1. cjeanean

    cjeanean Can't Decide

    Mar 5, 2008
    Missouri
    According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.

    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that there had to be something done about it.

    She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She then explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.

    To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors.

    He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then used it to clean the mirror. Needless to say, there have been no lip prints on the mirror since!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

    One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys.

    Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle.

    Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor? Scroll down for the answer.


















    The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.

    ***Women stop here. That is the end of the joke.
    ***Men keep scrolling











    So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving, and that explains why there was a car accident.


    By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.
     
  2. Sunny Chook Farm

    Sunny Chook Farm Chillin' With My Peeps

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  3. BirdBoy88

    BirdBoy88 Angel Egg

    Dec 26, 2007
    Maryland
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  4. Mahonri

    Mahonri Urban Desert Chicken Enthusiast Premium Member

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    May 14, 2008
    North Phoenix
    My Coop
    I had a patient once leave after having a procedure done who had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a scrip. She got into the car and applied her lipstick. She was excited to go to the pharmacy because the pharmacist was single and good looking. While she waited for her script to get filled she would stare and flirt with the pharmacist with her eyes. He would look at her and laugh.

    She couldn't understand it until she got back to her car and looked in the rearview mirror. her lips were so numb that she had put lipstick all over her face. We still laugh about it when I see her for her 6 mo cleanings.
     
  5. Wolf-Kim

    Wolf-Kim Chillin' With My Peeps

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    -Kim
     
  6. BirdBoy88

    BirdBoy88 Angel Egg

    Dec 26, 2007
    Maryland
    Quote:[​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  7. dixiechick

    dixiechick Chillin' With My Peeps

    that is SOOOOO funny...[​IMG]
     

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