It's rough on a marraige too. Neither of you truly know what you are getting into and if one loses interest, you are up the creek.
Would I do it again if I were young and naive? I'd go for simple. Nothing fancy or complicated. One story, small. Maybe it would have gotten finished.
If you aren't a contractor, I'd ask you why you want to build your own. My ex was convinced no one could build it as well as he could. That would have been a *sign* if I hadn't been young and ignorant of the ways of the world.
I can fall into the young and naively hopeful category, but I also work to ground myself and my imagination when I get hooked on an idea.
I know I cannot do
all the work to build a home. I would most certainly hire someone for jobs that aren't simple to learn and do oneself. Putting up walls is one thing, running electrical, pouring a foundation, installing plumbing, those are tasks not always suited for Average Joes. BF may have an ego, but he knows his limitations and when to call a professional to do a job.
For now, building an earth sheltered home is an idle dream, maybe something will come of it, maybe it will stay a dream. The toll it can take on a relationship, expenses, and the amount of work have all been considered, and currently keep me grounded rather than trying to convince BF that a 20 acre lot of land I found is at just the right price, in just the right place.
I don't mind a simple one story home, having grown up in a large 2 story home I know how much of the space would be wasted if I tried to build one. BF and I have been looking at a lot of one story homes, looking to downsize a bit from what we have, but he's very keen on having a basement. We'd both like a storage area and a workspace, and a basement can serve that purpose, though a few homes have had nice pole barns he's considered as a decent trade off for being without a basement.
More than anything, I would want to research building plans and materials a whole lot more, and if the interest doesn't wane, look to take a few courses
long before digging in to such a project. Building a chicken coop took 3 months of research and preparation, and making sure it was a solid interest, building a home might take 3 years or more.
Mentioning the yurt idea, the friends who linked the Hobbit Home on FB lived in a yurt for a couple years while they built their home. I'm sure they would love to show us how to set one up, though I believe BF would object to living in a tent until the house is built.
I've seen that somewhere a bit south of me is a place where you can rent a yurt, sort of like renting a cabin on a campground. I'm visiting with my relatives who visited the place so I'll ask them how it was, perhaps take a weekend trip with BF to show him it's not too bad.