Men's selective hearing


Cows, Chooks & Impys - OH MY!
14 Years
Nov 9, 2007
SW Arkansas
Another great mystery of the world!

Why is it I can hear our older GSD Jax about to barf on the living room carpet from the OTHER SIDE OF THE HOUSE

While DH, who is standing NOT FIVE FEET from Jax at the time of said barfing never hears it????
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Amazing isn't it?? Gotta love it. My husband is very hard of hearing as a result of his job. Mix that with his selective hearing and you can only imagine what I deal with!!!
Oh, I KNOW that's true! My DH is the same way -- cat can be sitting RIGHT BESIDE him about to barf on the couch, I try to struggle to my feet and snatch the cat off the couch & at least put it in the floor or fling some newspaper under its face, and he's like "what??"

Mine not only has selective hearing, but has "follow-through impaired" vision --

Our nearly 19 year old cat loses her balance very easily, and sometimes falls when she's trying to enter the litterbox, so she started relieving herself on the floor beside the box.
I've put down puppy training pads and she uses them most of the time, but sometimes will miss the pad and leave a solid deposit. My DH helpfully puts a length of toilet tissue over it so I can find it when I come by ...
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As befitting the husbands royal position as "King of the Castle",
he is not directly responsible for the daily needs of the various
animals who live in his castle.

Rules as rules.

Anytime the King is on his royal couch, recliner, or other royal throne,
he is to be considered at rest, and not to be bothered, unless it to bothered
by other most royal kings bearing gifts, in which case the meeting shall be
moved to the nearest royal man-cave, where they shall demand the nearest
dancing girl to serve drinks and snacks.

The Most Royal King does not know where these items are normally kept in
the home. Only that, much like the dancing girl, these items are always to be
at his beck and call.

Be it further known by all, that there is only ONE most royal king per household.
All who live in the home are considered by law to be loyal servants to the king,
and are denied the right to complain. (especially at the local BYC)

Furthermore, let it known by all that those dancing girls who do complain can be
sentenced to the royal dungons for as long as the King desires.

Read the rule book, wifes.

You are married to KINGS.
It's not just selective hearing, but also selective seeing too...

Mostly every night a bad raccoon gets into the outside garbage cans and makes a mess all over the driveway (right next to hubby's pick up) He leaves first and NEVER picks it up. So, when I walk out there to leave and see it there and not picked up, I think that he feels that it's not "his job"....which makes me very resentful. I always ask him why he walks past it and ignores it and his answer is always that he "didn't notice"...which I never believe. This has been happening for years.

ok, so fast forward to last month. I had something in my car (a wicker waste pail full of Easter peeps for him to bring to work). I pull up next to his pickup when arriving home, and instead of bringing it into the house to give to him to "forget" to bring to work the next morning, I decide to leave it on top of his truck just behind his door.

The next morning, he goes to work, walks past it, gets in his car and drives to work. (it didn't fall off!) Stopping at the deli to get coffee, he gets out of the truck, walks right past this wicker basket full of peeps and into the deli. He still doesn't see it. He comes out of the deli and finally sees it...thinking that I must have followed him to give him the peeps and left it on his truck when he went into the deli.

So not only do they not hear, they don't see either.

The moral of the story is...don't be so quick to think they are lying to get out of something. They really are that daffy.

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