Meyer Hatchery Chicken pics anyone??

[COChix]

I have to vent to you guys since this is the only place my friend won't see. 

So a few weeks ago I ask our friend (the one that has her chickens and 3 cats here) what she was doing for Thanksgiving. Her answer, "coming to your house". Ok, guess we're having company...
Yesterday I find out from DD (her and my friend's daughter are best friends) that they are doing brunch and then will leave at 2. Which will put them at our house at 3. Perfect. I get a text from my friend

I hate confrontation so I acted nice, but this will definitely change my opinion of her. :/

Wow what a cluster, how inconsiderate and rude of someone you call a friend. Guess you know next year not to ask her what she is doing for Thanksgiving. We did two families and two meals, spread out but we were stuffed, but saved room for both!

Glad you didn't let it ruin your night.

 

[jtn42248]

I have to vent to you guys since this is the only place my friend won't see.

So a few weeks ago I ask our friend (the one that has her chickens and 3 cats here) what she was doing for Thanksgiving. Her answer, "coming to your house". Ok, guess we're having company. That's fine since we would be alone this year. So on Sunday she mentions that she's going to do a small Thanksgiving with her mom first since she'll be alone if she doesn't. I have invited her mom here but she said she won't do that. So it's nothing new that her mom would be alone, she knew that when she invited herself to our house. Anyway, I get it, that's fine. I tell her we'll eat later, at 4, so they can do that. Then she says they'll bring the stuffing and they just bought a peach and cherry pie and they'll bring those (I'm allergic to peach, which she knows, and don't like cherries). I tell her that I'll have to get a pumpkin pie since DD has been craving one for weeks. She says she'll bring that too.
Yesterday I find out from DD (her and my friend's daughter are best friends) that they are doing brunch and then will leave at 2. Which will put them at our house at 3. Perfect. I get a text from my friend at 3 that they are just leaving her mom's. They live an hour away! Fine, they'll get here right when we sit down. Which they do, I'm carving the turkey as they walk in. They bring a dish of stuffing in and say it needs to cook for 30min! Seriously! Guess we aren't having stuffing with our meal! Then they say they aren't even hungry and don't eat more than 2 bites each! AND they didn't bring the pumpkin pie! DD was ticked and had to leave the room before she even found out they didn't bring the pie. We were wondering what she was mad at and their daughter said, "She's mad that they cooked all day and we're not hungry." My friend replies, "Well that wasn't unknown, we've known it would be that way forever." WHAT!? I didn't know!! I thought when you said you're doing Thanksgiving at our house that means you'll be EATING with us! I had such a hard time not walking out myself. I just stared at my food and kept breathing. Had to make a conscious choice not to let it ruin my evening. When my daughter came back down I took her out of the room and explained that I was mad too, that they were being very inconsiderate but that I had made the decision to enjoy my meal anyway. I told her we had picked the food for our favorites not theirs and we made it for us not them. We both made it through the meal and said goodbye. The plus side is they took their 3 cats with them! Not before they ruined my dining room table cover and bathroom cabinets though.

I hate confrontation so I acted nice, but this will definitely change my opinion of her. :/

Be they family or just friends there will always come a time when that relationship and the proverbial line in the sand have to meet. I have had these kind of inconsiderate "confrontations" myself and the solution is never easy or comfortable. They took their cats. The next step, for me, would be to arrange a fixed date that they would either take their chickens or the chickens would be mine. You say she is a friend but that is not how a friend acts. That is the action of a selfish and self consumed individual. My experience is that those people don't change and are not capable of seeing the way their behavior impacts those around them. Draw a line in the sand and stick to it. Explain to your daughter what and why you are doing what needs to be done. It probably will not dawn on your friend that she is the problem but it will at least begin closure to the problem.

 

[konachicks]

Be they family or just friends there will always come a time when that relationship and the proverbial line in the sand have to meet. I have had these kind of inconsiderate "confrontations" myself and the solution is never easy or comfortable. They took their cats. The next step, for me, would be to arrange a fixed date that they would either take their chickens or the chickens would be mine. You say she is a friend but that is not how a friend acts. That is the action of a selfish and self consumed individual. My experience is that those people don't change and are not capable of seeing the way their behavior impacts those around them. Draw a line in the sand and stick to it. Explain to your daughter what and why you are doing what needs to be done. It probably will not dawn on your friend that she is the problem but it will at least begin closure to the problem.

I'm with @jtn42248 on this. You were gracious to invite her and her attitude stinks. Seems like a one sided "friendship" to me
I would also draw a line in the sand. Sorry you had to deal with that.

 

[trsturself]

Wow. Invited herself, showed up late, didn't bring what was asked, didn't eat and thought it was all expected? I would be ticked, but it is very admirable that you were able to keep your calm and be good example to your daughter, that is definitely in keeping with the Thanksgiving spirit

I forget the original story of why you are boarding her chickens. Are they looking for a new house? Could your flock's health issues be coming from her chickens?

That IS very inconsiderate of your friend. You who are keeping all her animals and treating her how a friend should be treated and she doesn't have the decency to treat you the same. People like that drive me crazy! And everyone wonders why I want to be a hermit

that is a lot of work keeping someone else's chickens not only your own. You also took a risk with taking in her chickens, what if they would have made your chickens sick? Would she even fell horrible about that?! Probably not

it is very disappointing when people act that way to their "friends". Me on the other hand have no problem with confrontation lol I tell everyone how it is

that's why most people wont ask me my opinion on anything

I hope for your sake that this will be a one time ordeal

@trsturself sorry to hear your thanksgiving did not leave you or your daughter grateful for those friends. It's a shame that people can be so inconsiderate and not respect what you are trying to do for the holiday at your house. It seems more and more that people are truly selfish ano don't even appreciate the people they call friends. You're obviously such a good person to be taking care of all her animals, not to mention your own! I really hope one day it dawns on her how great of a friend you are.

Being in retail, it makes me feel that it's just a sign of how selfish we are as a society. People are so consumed with themselves and their things, we can no longer celebrate thanksgiving. We forget that we really have things to be thankful for and maybe we should should act in a way that we will make people thankful for us.

Be they family or just friends there will always come a time when that relationship and the proverbial line in the sand have to meet. I have had these kind of inconsiderate "confrontations" myself and the solution is never easy or comfortable. They took their cats. The next step, for me, would be to arrange a fixed date that they would either take their chickens or the chickens would be mine. You say she is a friend but that is not how a friend acts. That is the action of a selfish and self consumed individual. My experience is that those people don't change and are not capable of seeing the way their behavior impacts those around them. Draw a line in the sand and stick to it. Explain to your daughter what and why you are doing what needs to be done. It probably will not dawn on your friend that she is the problem but it will at least begin closure to the problem.

I'm with @jtn42248 on this. You were gracious to invite her and her attitude stinks. Seems like a one sided "friendship" to me

I would also draw a line in the sand. Sorry you had to deal with that.

I think she is a good person, she just has no clue how it really was for us that day. To her she had already made it clear that they would just be coming to visit. But then why offer to bring food that needs to be cooked and show up at the time I said we'd be eating!? And she said she never said she'd bring the pumpkin pie. I think she totally spaced on that conversation thinking about all the other stuff going on. We have their chickens because they just moved back from KS and don't have a place they can have them yet. They were staying with her mom, who is allergic to cats, so the cats were in our basement. Their house in KS hasn't sold yet and they couldn't find a house to rent that would allow the animals. So now they are in the process of moving into an apartment until their house in KS sells. Which she is very depressed about. I think she just had a million things on her mind and was trying to please too many people by splitting her time. I think she felt like she had to come to our house so we wouldn't be alone.
I can't remember if our chickens stopped laying before or after her birds were here. I think they might have slowed down but not stopped completely like they are now. Speaking of which I still can't find that bottle of ivermectin I bought! So frustrating!

I know she would keep our chickens for us if the situation was reversed. But I think that's why she seems so relaxed about it, because it's what you do for friends and she would do it too, so it's no big deal. She comments all the time to our other friends how much we are doing for her and how thankful she is and how she couldn't have come back to CO without our help. So I think she appreciates it, she just takes it lightly which makes it appear as though she's taking advantage.

I could never cut them out of our life for that. I know she didn't do it intentionally or with malice. She just didn't get our perspective. I'm sure if I talked to her about it she would be sorry, but I don't really see the point. Plus our daughters are inseparable and I could never take that from her. Even when they were in KS they spent 4-6 hours a day on skype together! She takes our daughter for days at a time and we do the same with hers. We have very similar interests and views on things so we generally fit well together.
I think rather than draw a line in the sand, I just have to come to terms with the type of person she is, and plan our interactions and my expectations accordingly. Which is really not new to me, and is why I didn't give them a food assignment that we truly cared about and made all the food that we wanted, set the time that worked for us, and had already told my family that we wouldn't hold dinner for them if they weren't there on time.
Some people you just have to let go of your own expectations of how they should behave and protect your own interests. As long as she doesn't do anything with malice or complete disregard for us (even though it appeared to be that way yesterday I don't think she meant it that way), I can have her in my life. There's very few people I let in that close so I can't throw away the few. lol

Thanks for letting me vent everyone!

 

[christine9]

@trsturself I love your attitude. I think making relationships work does mean knowing how much you can expect from people. And deciding how much you'll give to them. I think we all have that friend/family member that flakes out or stretches themselves too thin. I'm sure I am that person to someone too.

 

[christine9]

Another good egg day! So exciting. 3 of 3 laying girls' eggs! And a few golf balls lol.

 

[NotableNancy]

I think she is a good person, she just has no clue how it really was for us that day. To her she had already made it clear that they would just be coming to visit. But then why offer to bring food that needs to be cooked and show up at the time I said we'd be eating!? And she said she never said she'd bring the pumpkin pie. I think she totally spaced on that conversation thinking about all the other stuff going on. We have their chickens because they just moved back from KS and don't have a place they can have them yet. They were staying with her mom, who is allergic to cats, so the cats were in our basement. Their house in KS hasn't sold yet and they couldn't find a house to rent that would allow the animals. So now they are in the process of moving into an apartment until their house in KS sells. Which she is very depressed about. I think she just had a million things on her mind and was trying to please too many people by splitting her time. I think she felt like she had to come to our house so we wouldn't be alone.
I can't remember if our chickens stopped laying before or after her birds were here. I think they might have slowed down but not stopped completely like they are now. Speaking of which I still can't find that bottle of ivermectin I bought! So frustrating!

I know she would keep our chickens for us if the situation was reversed. But I think that's why she seems so relaxed about it, because it's what you do for friends and she would do it too, so it's no big deal. She comments all the time to our other friends how much we are doing for her and how thankful she is and how she couldn't have come back to CO without our help. So I think she appreciates it, she just takes it lightly which makes it appear as though she's taking advantage.

I could never cut them out of our life for that. I know she didn't do it intentionally or with malice. She just didn't get our perspective. I'm sure if I talked to her about it she would be sorry, but I don't really see the point. Plus our daughters are inseparable and I could never take that from her. Even when they were in KS they spent 4-6 hours a day on skype together! She takes our daughter for days at a time and we do the same with hers. We have very similar interests and views on things so we generally fit well together.
I think rather than draw a line in the sand, I just have to come to terms with the type of person she is, and plan our interactions and my expectations accordingly. Which is really not new to me, and is why I didn't give them a food assignment that we truly cared about and made all the food that we wanted, set the time that worked for us, and had already told my family that we wouldn't hold dinner for them if they weren't there on time.
Some people you just have to let go of your own expectations of how they should behave and protect your own interests. As long as she doesn't do anything with malice or complete disregard for us (even though it appeared to be that way yesterday I don't think she meant it that way), I can have her in my life. There's very few people I let in that close so I can't throw away the few. lol

Thanks for letting me vent everyone!

She sounds like one of those friends you just have to accept for what they are. She just wasn't putting herself in your shoes and didn't realize she was taking advantage of a few things. I try to look for the good in everyone and it sounds like you are the same way. But you sure sound like a MUCH better friend than me to take care of cats/chickens etc for so long. Gotta keep the peace for the daughters sake as well. You sound like you did the right thing and it always helps to vent. About chickens, friends or anything!!

@trsturself I love your attitude. I think making relationships work does mean knowing how much you can expect from people. And deciding how much you'll give to them. I think we all have that friend/family member that flakes out or stretches themselves too thin. I'm sure I am that person to someone too.

X2

 

[wermnmnmnm]

I always say that people do the best they can given their situation, background and experience being who you are through and through.... she is a lucky friend to have you and I hope you feel good about you being you.

 

[autumnhearth]

@trsturself I love your attitude. I think making relationships work does mean knowing how much you can expect from people. And deciding how much you'll give to them. I think we all have that friend/family member that flakes out or stretches themselves too thin. I'm sure I am that person to someone too.

X3!

 

[trsturself]

Thank you everyone! You guys made my day.