Mom's favorite sayings

Whats for dinner?.....What ever you're given.
What times dinner?....When its ready.
If I didnt eat all my dinner....Dont worry it will still be there at Breakfast time, you can eat it then.
Whos she...The cats mother.
RIGHT!!!! THATS IT
God help me if I have to count to 5.

My neighbour laughs at me when we go to Zaxbys or anywhere really bacause I always ask for a knife and fork. Im British, now living in America but back home we get our hands slapped for using our fingers at the table. So I was brought up with....
If I see you using your fingers once more at the table I will cut them off. (SLAP) (I never use my fingers when I am eating and people will say what do you need a knife for, I just tell them my mum would slap my hands if she saw me eating with my fingers...I am now 38 years old)
 
oh... now I understand. I always wondered why my European friends watched us in wide eyed wonder when we ate. ...and why she ate fries with a knife and fork.
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My Dad's favorite one:
Driving to somewhere, on a road nowhere near anything, obviously not close to where we were going -
Us: "Are we there yet?"
Dad: "Yup, let me just pull over so you can GET OUT!"
Shut us up quick.

Mom - "You better cut that out or I'll BEAN YOU!" Still not sure what it would be like to be "Beaned"
Also always threatened to be sold to the gypsies - blonds fetch a high price!

Table manners - "Get your elbows off the table/ use your knife/ napkin/ sit up straigt - you weren't born in a barn!!"
 
DH's mom always said "Nothing good happens after midnight." I'm sure there are many folks out there who would beg to differ...lol.
The main phrase I remember my mom saying was an expletive of sorts, so I'll have to modify
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"Well sh-t fire and save the matches!"
 
I hope everyone is enjoying relating Mom's/Dad's/relative's favorite saying as much as I am enjoying reading them. Thanks for sharing and awakening old memories.
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Sourland George
 
I remember two things my mom used to say when she was frustrated with us kids.
There were five of us.

"I wish you were all twins, so I could knock your heads together!"

And my favorite... reserved for when children are "hitting" each other...

"If you don't knock it off... I am going to break off your arms and beat you over the head with them!"

These are especially funny since my mom was not the type to put her "threats" into action.

It makes me smile to think of her saying these things...
She was killed in a car accident in 1987 and I miss her very much!

I just thought of a funny story. My mom was very quick witted. One day we were going shopping, and didn't want to take one of my brothers, since boys tire of shopping and can be a pain... he was about 9 years old at the time. My mom, was just ready to drive off when this brother dashed out and jumped in the car... And said "Where are we going?"

Mom answered "To the Orphanage!" He quickly got out of the car! We still laugh about that one.
 
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My mom used to say: Insanity is hereditary, you get it from your kids.
or
It's just as easy to marry a rich man as a poor one.

My dad used to say to us kids when we were being snarky to mom:
Your mother is all that is holy.

oooo-kaaaay.... what ever that means.

That's all I can remember.
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let's see: My dad , "not for all the tea in china"
my mom" what's that got to do with the price of tea"
they have a thing for tea I guess!
my mom " I'm going to beat you till your blue and then beat you for turning blue" woman's vicious,lol
my Dad when saying he had to pee "went to see a man about a horse" for years I thought he was finally buying me a pony
my MIL when vacuuming " sonofabltchba$tard" she hates the vacuum cleaner
my MIL " S#it in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up faster"
My uncle Charles you say where is so & so " went to S#it and the hogs ate him"
Every older uncle I have " you can't get there from here"
 
Quote:
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It took me a long time to stop stareing at people who ate with their fingers. When my folks came over to visit the 1st time, they were mortified and would whisper, oh my god, they really need to use their cutlery. Now shes been over a few times she just shakes her head. It doesnt bother me, im used to it now but I still use my knife and forn when ever I eat...I even use a knife and fork to eat my pizza....yeah yeah, i know, dont even go there
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