My butt ugly chicken

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Great story. way funny. your a genuine lunatic. You will fit right in with us.

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Thanks for all of the kind words and I am sorry for not being back in a while and keeping up to date with our newbie shenanigans. It's been a rough couple months here. I had to send the turkey (Charlie) and the hen (Princess Rose dubbed by my daughter) to live elsewhere. Hopefully it is only temporary, but may be for a while. And of coarse I sent them off while my kids were at school............and had not given them any knowledge that they were leaving.

I know! Bad dad!

They haven't let me live it down yet and I am sure that I will be making a trip or twelve out to visit the birds soon. Hopefully when we have a more stable living situation we will get them back, maybe along with some new friends too. We moved into our current house in June, lease for two years and then buying. We found out the hard way that we live on a flood plane (no disclosure from the landlord/owner about this), so several times a year, the street I live on floods to the point where no vehicles can get in or out of our dead end street. Not to mention the flood is a mixture of sewage and water, not just water. I know.....gross. The whole neighborhood smelled like an outhouse for days after.

Anyway, we are in the middle of a lawsuit to get out of our lease and recover our down payment to hopefully move into another home. Uhg. I will keep reading and checking in because the family really enjoyed our short time with the birds.

Thanks again, I hope you are all well.
 
Thanks. I kinda miss the way the turkey would run around the house (He had a dumb looking run too) when you pulled in, then the hen would come running around like a paranoid little crackhead, back and forth until she got in comfort range of Charlie the turkey. He would follow us right up the few steps to the side door and walk right in if you let him. The hen would go insane if she couldn't see him if he walked in. So I have three kids, two that are little ,that I'm trying to get shoes and stuff off of before they enter a room with carpet and mess it up. Now I need to keep them under control while they want to pet the turkey that just walked in the house. I also need to keep the turkey under control because he is happy we're home so he can have a snack and he evidently has to clear space for the snack by taking a giant crap right on the floor by the doorway. Now the dog comes over because if the turkey gets a snack, he will too. So it's inevitable that I am going to have a child slip in the crap (this WILL ONLY happen if I have their shoes off of coarse)and fall flat on the floor. The turkey then assumes they are hiding a snack a begins to search them thoroughly with his beak. The dog joins in, the child begins freaking out because their sure they're being attacked somehow. So there I was. Yelling at the child who didn't fall to quit running, yelling at the screaming child on the floor to shut up because they're not being attacked, yelling at the turkey and the dog to get away from my kid, yelling at the turkey for being in the house and having to crap right there, and then yelling at the dog because he left the kid and went over to "clean" up the turkey poop (Gross). The dog then pees all over the floor and himself because he thinks he's in trouble. I throw the turkey outside to the hen who was screaming bloody murder. I then tell the child on the floor to get up, he or she (depending on which one is on the floor) then rolls over to get up.........right into the dog pee. I then become so angry I sound like a moron because I can't get a full sentence out of my mouth. Now I am yelling at no one while stomping through the house to find something to clean up the mess with. On a positive note though, there was only one time where I came storming out of the kitchen with a towel.............only to slip in dog pee and land in turkey crap.

Good times.......good times.
 
Thenewguy said:
Hello everyone,
So my chicken adventure started at the end of my 5 year old daughters school year this last June.  Her class hatched a bunch of chicks, my daughter asked if we could bring some home one day when I went to pick her up, and I thought "It's been a while since the wife and I got in a good fight about something stupid I did".  So I told my daughter "Sure! We'll take 4".
So we have these four cute fuzzballs of yellow fluff running around and I figured it's good for the kids to handle them several times during the day to get the chicks and the kids (ages 4,5,and 10) used to it.  Within the first two weeks, my brother in law brings his dog over while we are out in the front yard playing with the little guys.  He assures me that the dog is good around chickens. Well, chickens maybe, but not chicks. So the dog chomps on one of the little guys right in front of the kids.  So yeah, they're therapy will be justified. Not a great start, but I have 3 out of 4. That's 75%, which is still a "C" and that was  good enough to get me through high school.
Anyway, fast forward a couple days and we're at the local feed store checking things out.  They got a bin of baby chicks, ducks,  and turkeys (Yes, I WILL learn the lingo) on clearance. 3 bins, one for each kind of bird....foul....whatever. My wife says we should get another chick to replace the one we lost. So the kids and I are like 'cool' lets get that one, or that one. My wife says "No, we're gonna get that one, it's just like the one that died".  And it looked exactly like the others!
I noticed a couple weeks down the line that there was something weird about this chicken. I named him "Charlie Sheen" cuz he just always looked like he was coming in from a hard night of drinking.  His neck was long, unlike the others. His feet were big and white where the others were yellow.  The feathers that he was getting looked messy and were coarse to the touch. The other three were all soft. One did end up being a roo though. I denied this until the morning he woke me up. Then my daughter realized that she could make him crow by squeezing her baby doll which made a very annoying "ma-ma" sound. which evidently the rooster hated too because he went nuts when she did it from inside the house. We said our goodbyes and sent him to live in a place more 'rural' than our backyard in the middle of town.

Sorry......tangent

Back to the chicken. So I am waiting week after week for this thing to pretty up and it just doesn't happen......at all.  I thought it was sick, I even blamed my wife for picking that one....."I'm sure the one's the kids and I wanted turned out to look just fine!"

Finally about a month ago.  I just got a pen up for them to hang out in when my 18 year old son and his girlfriend stop by and headed out to the back to marvel at my accomplishment. The first thing his girlfriend says was; "That looks like a turkey I used to have."

I hadn't thought of that..........

Face palm

So now I'm here, and I think I have out-newbied most people.

Anything I learn from you kind folks will help a whole lot and will be way more than I knew an hour before so, please, be gentle. I believe I had 4 White Plymoth Rock(s).  And, so far, they are really cool. The kids still jump up and run to take care of them.


I am now down to just the turkey and one hen though.  there was an unfortunate accident involving my 10 year old son, his hockey stick, and a chicken that shoulda zagged rather than zig. But that's another thread (and another year of therapy).
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Great story! Thanks for sharing. And just when I thought I had learned the horrors of feed store chick bins!!
 

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