My Charlie...and thoughts on death of an animal.

[Souperchicken]

Charlie, my chihuahua/poodle mix, died yesterday and I am having REALLY hard time with it. We had him for 13 years - since he was a pup. I've had dogs that I was close to in the past die and it was nothing like this. I feel like he was my soul's companion.

Charlie was my constant companion, my best friend, and l loved him so much. I feel like my heart has been broken and can't stop crying(I'm not someone that cries easily, unless I'm watching a sad animal movie)

We couldn't have children the first 6 years of our marriage. He was more than a pet to me, he helped my heart when it ached for children. When he was a pup he was as tiny as a newborn kitten, I had a box next to my bed and would tuck him in each night under a little wash cloth and when he woke up during the night and cried I would stroke him back to sleep.

He traveled with us where ever we went - we tried to leave him once for a few days with a friend to watch him and he refused to eat the whole time. I was able to leave him with my parents or sister a few times, but he would cry and hide the whole time we would be gone.
He was always on my lap until we were able to have children and then he was sitting by my side or at my feet and always in the same room with me. He had the most expressive eyes and I could tell when he would want to go out or his food refilled by him just looking at me.
My husband traveled a lot over the years, yet I was never truly alone. After the kids would go to bed and the house was quiet, I would have Charlie by my side. It was such a comfort to stroke his fur.

We had to put him to sleep yesterday morning and that was such a painful decision, I didn't want him suffering any longer and knew it was the right decision, but it hurts knowing I did this to my dog.

His health has been declining for the past year. I knew he wasn't going to last much longer, and we just got a new puppy about 2 weeks ago. This pup will never replace him, neither will any other dog.

I am grateful to have a husband who is so understanding and we cried together all day yesterday.
I am wondering if anyone else has ever had a dog that they were so closely attached to that their heart felt broken and painful when they died. I know it will get easier, it's only been a day, but I am having such a hard time. My chest hurts, my eyes are getting sores.

It is my belief that in the afterlife we will see our family again and our spirits unite. But what about animals?? Where do they go? I want to be able to see him again. He was like family.

I keep imagining him in a happy place. A summery scene, outdoors in the mountains walking along a grassy stream, sniffing the air and looking for an adventure. I hope this is where he is and what he's doing....

I guess I have written this mostly to ease my heart a bit, but I do want to know what people's thoughts are about what happens to animals when they die? What are your beliefs?

 

[jerseygirl1]

I am so sorry for your loss. We have a 15 year old dog that I know when she goes, we will be going thru that same pain you are. I believe that our pets are waiting for us when we cross over and that each and every pet we have loved, will be waiting for us when we get there. And they live and run with no pain, no hurt, nothing but joy and happiness and anticipation. Just like the Rainbow Bridge poem.Now I am just bawling my eyes out, but again, I am sorry for your pain. But they are there waiting for us.

 

[annie3001]

i know its hard. thinking of you. you shared wonderful memories, that you can cherish a life-time.

 

[greeneggsandham]

Your beloved Charlie has gone over the Rainbow Bridge where he is running around like a pup again with friends that he knew and had passed before him. You will see him again.

The Rainbow Bridge
inspired by a Norse legend

By the edge of a woods, at the foot of a hill,

Is a lush, green meadow where time stands still.

Where the friends of man and woman do run,

When their time on earth is over and done.

For here, between this world and the next,

Is a place where each beloved creature finds rest.

On this golden land, they wait and they play,

Till the Rainbow Bridge they cross over one day.

No more do they suffer, in pain or in sadness,

For here they are whole, their lives filled with gladness.

Their limbs are restored, their health renewed,

Their bodies have healed, with strength imbued.

They romp through the grass, without even a care,

Until one day they start, and sniff at the air.

All ears prick forward, eyes dart front and back,

Then all of a sudden, one breaks from the pack.

For just at that instant, their eyes have met;

Together again, both person and pet.

So they run to each other, these friends from long past,

The time of their parting is over at last.

The sadness they felt while they were apart,

Has turned into joy once more in each heart.

They embrace with a love that will last forever,

And then, side-by-side, they cross over… together.

 

[Souperchicken]

Thank you for your kind words and that beautiful poem. I am going to copy and save it and show it to my husband.

 

[terrilhb]

I am so sorry for your loss.

We lost our beloved JD last year. Had him 11 yrs. I still miss him so much. I have not even picked up his food bowl. I can not bring myself to do it. We buried him out back with a headstone. I talk to him all the time. I understand how you feel. I have 4 other wonderful dogs but they don't replace him. Then last month we lost our cat we had 12 yrs. You will never stop missing him but it get's a little easier as time goes on. Sending you lots and lots of

. Thanks for the wonderful stories about Charlie. Sounds like he was an awesome loving friend.

 

[TeamChaos]

I think heaven is made by everything you hold dear in your heart and I can tell you that it wouldn't be heaven for me if I didn't get to spend eternity with all my beloved dog friends!

When my Max died, I felt like I lost a part of myself- the good part, the loving part, the caring part. It took a long time for me to be willing to consider getting close to another animal. Sure, I had other pets at the time, but they were just that- animals that I was kind to and took care of, but they didn't really provide any companionship to me the way Max did. Even now, years later, I sit in the sun and close my eyes and I can recall so clearly the softness of his ears, the curl of his tail, the sound of his feet when he'd rush up to surprise me- I can even remember the weight of his body against my leg when we'd sit in the sun together.. and I miss him so, but the sadness and anger have given over to gratefulness that I got to have such an amazing friend. I am so sorry you're grieving right now- it is such a deep and stinging pain. i am so thankful you had Charlie in your life and I am sure he loved you every bit as much as you loved him.

 

[Mak]

I know exactly how you feel. Two years ago in summer, I lost the best kitty ever- my Tuxedo. He was 15, and had tumors up in his nasal cavities that eventually made it too hard for him to breathe. We'd had him and his siblings since they were 8 week old kittens. He was my lap kitty and snuggler. I've had to make that last decision for pets before, but Tux just tore my heart apart like no other has. I still tear up when I think about him- like now. But the really hard pain does (eventually) lessen. You gave Charlie a great life from the sound of it. Just keep thinking of him in a good place, having all the fun he ever loved. You'll see him again, I believe that. {{hugs}}

 

[Katy]

Don't think of it as having done this to your dog....think of it as having done it for him. I know how hard it is to make that decision.....I've had to do it more times than I care to think about with both my cats and dogs. Just remember that he's no longer in pain and that he's at rest now. Whether it's a pet or human that we've lost, it's those of us who are left behind that feel the void.

 

[Scoop]

So very sorry for your loss. Of course your new pup will never take Charlie's place. Each pet just takes up a certain special part of our heart because they are all so different and special in their own way. I lost a special cat in 2009 and that was so hard. I tear up thinking about him and how short his life was. So you are not alone. Even special chickens are so hard to lose.