My husband's being a jerk - RANT

[Cloverleaf Farm]

Ok, tell me if I am being completely unreasonable here please...

My husband got a citation for having expired tags on his car. It was having mechanical issues, and while it was still drivable, there was no way it was going to pass DEQ without repairs. AFTER he got the ticket, we took it to the shop to get the problem fixed, and then he traded cars with me for a day so I could take it through DEQ and then get the tags. Generally, I take care of "business" things that need to be dealt with during the day because I work at night.
Well, he never gave me his ticket so I could go pay it and be done with it. He missed his court date, because as he says, "I could swear the cop said the 12th"...even though the ticket itself clearly says the 2nd. So, Saturday's mail brought an "order to appear" for this Thursday. I called the court house this morning, and they said that I could go pay it, but it would go on his otherwise spotless driving record, OR he could come into the courthouse before Thursday, fill out some paperwork, and do an online diversion class, which would keep his record clean. I told him this, and he gets mad at ME for not just dealing with it! Are you kidding me??!? He wanted me to just go pay it anyway, because he doesn't care if it goes on his record! He actually hung up on me because now he's going to have to cut out of work early (actually regular time because he works OT every day) to come deal with HIS OWN TICKET!!!! I'm so mad at him I could smack him upside his stupid head!

 

[kla37]

You're NOT being unreasonable.

 

[EweSheep]

Hubby needs a brain transplant! Next time he asks you to do something for him like this one, tell him that he created the problem, he has to deal with it himself.

 

[Cloverleaf Farm]

Quote:
Yep, that's what I told him when he called me back AFTER he hung up on me the first time. I told him it was stupid to marr his driving record for something so stupid, and that it's his problem and he has to deal with it. The thing that really irks me too is that if I were able to go fill out the paperwork for his diversion class for him, he would do it no problem. I get so tired of having TWO children sometimes! One that's 9 and one that's 35...

 

[Orchid]

Quote:
Yep, that's what I told him when he called me back AFTER he hung up on me the first time. I told him it was stupid to marr his driving record for something so stupid, and that it's his problem and he has to deal with it. The thing that really irks me too is that if I were able to go fill out the paperwork for his diversion class for him, he would do it no problem. I get so tired of having TWO children sometimes! One that's 9 and one that's 35...

Then...don't treat him like one.

You can't take care of most everything for him and then expect him not to act like a spoiled brat over something he doesn't want to deal with. I don't mean that this is your fault, just that I'd let him take care of his own problems from here on out - once he gets used to acting like a man and not a child, he won't have anything about which to be mad at you.

 

[PineappleMama]

For the five year old hiding in a man's body.

If he forgets lunch money does he call you up and demand you bring him lunch... and don't forget my snack pack.. and to cut the crust off the bread and to cut it into triangles NOT squares...

That's just pitiful behavior.

Afraid I'd be tempted to puree all his food just to illustrate what a BABY he's being.

 

[EweSheep]

Exactly, Orchid, exactly what our family counselor said.....my hubby had to pull up his "man" guts and do it on his own. It was not easy for him but he did it! From then on, he would ask "should I do this? or would you care if you can do this for me? (then he would add, I'll bring home supper). If it is something of a legal thing, I would let him deal with it on his own. If it is something like he needs somthing like a toothpaste or deodrant that he forgot to tell me to add on my grocery list, that is nothing and I can pick it up on the way out picking up my daughter from school and dd and I can do some shopping.

 

[kla37]

Serve him dinner with his drink in a sippy cup.

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:

 

[Cloverleaf Farm]

You guys crack me up - thanks for making me feel better. I suppose I should add that he's not ALWAYS a child...he did offer to drive two hours one way in the middle of the night Saturday night to come pick up our son from me at the chicken show because he was vomiting. AND he actually HANDLED BIRDS to help me get everyone settled back in when I got home yesterday

which had up till then been unheard of. All in all he's a pretty good guy, it's just sometimes...

Which I suppose is true for lots of people, but I thought for sure he'd man up for something that was such a big deal...