My leukemia's back.

Good morning Team Rachel. I hope everyone has a blessed day.

I've been cutting my daughters' hair all their lives. Last night, my oldest was in a tizzy, which has happened the past few times I've cut her hair. Somehow, I just didn't get it quite right, and she gave exact orders on where, and how to cut it. No matter what I did, she was not happy. She showed me pictures of what she wanted. Nope, we can't do that now, because it's not long enough, but in a month or two, I could do it that way, since it was the exact cut she'd been wearing when she came home from KY. I was confused, since we changed the style on purpose. Finally, she was nearly in tears, and had me that way too, when she admitted, it wasn't exactly her hair cut that was the problem.

She was upset about her hair, her overall appearance, and ageing. She feels ugly. That's when it hit me, what a lot of her real problem was. I asked her "Who are you comparing yourself to, that makes you feel this way?" I already knew the answer. Remember, she's back in college. The "look" she was wanting was what she wore after high school, when she was going to University in KY. She didn't answer me at first, so I reworded my question. "Are you comparing yourself to the 19 - 23 year olds at the college?" Yes, she was. I told her I understood far more than she thought possible. She was my firstborn, and I was 30 when I had her. I was significantly older than all the mothers of children in her age group. At first, it bothered me too. One day, I realized I was making the wrong comparison.

I began asking myself, "What will these mothers look like in 6 - 10 years?" That changed the whole playing field. I began picturing them adding 8 - 10 years. I suggested she start picturing her classmates adding 10 years, and 3 kids. I reminded her that most of her classmates didn't have 3 kids, so they could spend an hour fixing their hair. She didn't have that kind of time to spend on her hair, so she would wear it in a ponytail, with a headband. I hated that, and suggested something easier to care for. While it's not the style she wore in college, it's not "old" looking, and it doesn't take her an hour to make it look nice. Next time she goes to class, and sees the gal that looks so well put together, imagine her in your shoes with 3 kids, and little time to put into her looks.

The reason I shared this, there are times, I too think everyone around me looks so much better, or are more capable than I am. Then I picture them having gone through the things I've endured. This might help some of you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare what they'd look, or be like if they had gone through what you have endured in life. Feel better about yourself, and who you are.

POST OF THE DAY AWARD! :old
 
One of the advantages to being my age is that I really don't give a darn what others think about me. As long as I am relatively clean and don't stink too bad, all is good. I guess I've pretty much been like that my whole life. When the aging process wears on me a bit, I do the 'comparison' to others my age and give thanks for my good health.
 
Even tv, movies, magazines, etc. all suggest everyone should look 21, and picture perfect all the time.
As it has always been. There is a reason older actors, and actresses especially, with a few notable exceptions have a hard time getting work when they are no longer unwrinkled svelte girls and buff boys in their 20's.

I'm glad you were able to work down to the crux of DD's unhappiness! And you are right, at 38 I didn't look a whole lot like many of the other parents of kids in DD1's kindergarten class. I don't recall it bothering me much but then, unlike your daughter, I didn't need to "fit in" since being with that group was a fairly rare occasion.

But your DD's experience makes me think about DD1. She is 25 and hoping to be able to go to college next year since her migraines are finally controlled a little. She looks young so that would help, and no kids.
 
Gack, GAC!! How scary!!! And how unnecessary!!! Hope she heals up quickly now.

I have a huge problem. I have a huge dog. That huge dog loves to chew ice cubes....I toss her a few and she lays in the grass happily crunching away. I put several in her water bowl outside to keep her water cooler and she'll fish them out and eat them.

This morning she figured out where they come from....that little lever on the front of the fridge will give her a whole bunch of them at one time, and they bounce when they hit the hardwood floor! Bonus? Her nose is so big that when she hits the ice button she also hits the water dispenser button! Ice comes out one side and a stream of cold water comes out of the little nozzle right beside it! She's delerious with unrestrained joy at her power! Time to test the "lock" button. "Let's get an Irish Wolfhound" we said. "It'll be fun!" we said.
When I was a kid I always wanted an Irish Wolfhound..... especially since I'm short....I thought it would be funny.....
 
Um, Phil......it ain’t! :lau She goes to the vet tomorrow to be spayed, have her tummy tack, and have her nails quicked, and the vet is 25 miles from here. That means that it’s going to take three of us to get her there - Tam’s going along and riding in the back seat to help keep Fee back there instead of bulldozing her way to the front and I’m the blocker in case she gets past Tam. We ordered one of those wire divider jobs but it didn’t come yet and although we’ve been working on car manners, our being gone to Salt Lake for 4 days didn’t help the training. So it’s gonna take 3 people and brute force. Then it will take all three of us to lift her into the car when we pick her up because she’ll be sore and maybe still a bit unsteady on her feet.

For the most part having Fiona is a total blast. But oh, those pesky logistics! :he
 
The tummy thing is something that most people with giant breeds like to do. They are extremely prone to bloat, and that often leads to gastric tortion. The stomach actually twists itself closed, sort of like how they twist a sausage when they make a long string of them. By tacking the tummy up, it can’t flip itself shut.

Quicking the nails isn’t very nice, but I’m having it done anyway. I trim her nails the best I can, but they are so thick that I can’t keep them down far enough. They’d only been well trimmed once when she was a little puppy. As the nail grows, the quick inside the nail, the part with the nerve and blood supply, also grows. So afterward I’ll keep the tips trimmed as I’ve been doing, but by cutting them way back this one time the quick will also recede. That slows the growth a bit, and also makes a closer nail trim at home possible. I had to keep my show dogs’ nails super short, and if I hit that quick they would bleed a bit, but I had styptic powder so I’d simply dip the toe into and that stopped it immediately. Hers are just too big and thick for me to keep short enough without occasional help. The vet can do it while she’s under anesthetic, which will help tremendously.
 
Last edited:

New posts New threads Active threads

Back
Top Bottom