My leukemia's back.

[bobbi-j]

Folks my mom passed away this evening unexpectedly. play for me and my family please.

So sorry, Oldrooster! Prayers for you and your family!

looks like for $$$$ we will do direct burial and memorial after, but Mom's sister wants a funeral service. my thought is if she can foot the bill (even if she could she wouldn't) she could upgrade it. but I know she will trow a fit, likely The cops will have to be called over her or the other sibling or their kids actions. to say they are insane would insult insane people. they are the impiety of evil. At my dad's funeral (their BIL) they refused to let me be his pal bearer. her 3 brothers told me they were "more related by marriage to him than I from birth". I am not looking forward to this. just for their actions alone. her sisters have tried to make a mess of mom's and my affairs after his death and did to a certain extent. I am glad they will soon be out of my life. Sourland the thread about the phone I started that you commented on, was about me and my mom...

I’m sorry your family is so obnoxious.

 

[oldrooster]

So sorry, Oldrooster! Prayers for you and your family!


I’m sorry your family is so obnoxious.

My mom was far from perfect, but seeing how her side of the family acts, no wonder she had the issues she had. I know I am far from perfect, but I at least tried to be nice to them until the point I had to cut them out. I want nothing to do with them. If it was up to me I would have not told the extended family until she was buried for at least a week. they wouldn't let me do my duty when dad died because they told me I am a B child (fatherless) and I don't want them near me, at the best of times, let alone now. I had a cousin that couldn't drive 3 miles to see me and my brothers graduate highschool. yet she was mad I didn't give a gift to her girl or son when they got out of school. I did not want any gift, I wanted time with friends and family, but that didn't happen. I mean if she was busy buy a pad of paper and write me a letter and mail it to me. spend a lousy 2-3 bucks and then you have lots of left over supplies for other things like grocery lists....

 

[Blooie]

Okay....deep breath....in...out.... You can’t change who they are, and you can’t let them have the power they get from intimidating you at a time when your emotions are running high anyway. Bullies are bullies, no matter how they’re disguised.

So now, calm down and look at the facts. Sadly your mom has passed. You have relatives who want to bully their way into being in charge. Frankly your mom doesn’t know who’s paying for the funeral at this point, nor is she part of the drama. So don’t think about that. Think instead of how you personally want to say your goodbyes. You can either do things the way you want, or let them do it all and you just attend. You can even smile, say, “Okay, you’re in charge”, leave, and have a quiet memorial service at home for just those who truly cared for her. I think, faced with the possibility of your alternative choices, having them presented calmly and quietly, just might make them sit back and realize that if they choose a more elaborate service than you are prepared for, the expenses are then on their shoulders. Right now they think you are backed into a corner and have no alternatives. The funeral home doesn’t care one whit who pays for what’s chosen, just that it’s paid, and they will upsell as much as they possibly can. Your mother doesn’t care either. That sounds crude, but that’s the truth of it.

Okay, I’m butting out now. I probably shouldn’t have said anything at all, but the pain of losing Linda is still pretty fresh so I can just feel how emotionally charged you are. It hurts when someone you’ve grown to care about is hurting and you can’t do a thing to help. I care about you, and how you’re feeling..

 

[getaclue]

Well said, Blooie.

 

[bruceha2000]

That is one reason we love our @Blooie, tells it like it is, with empathy.

 

[getaclue]

Normally, I'm fairly easy going, but when needed, I have the superpower of becoming a royal "itch" with a capital B in front. I would have told the one complaining, that I did give their son/daughter a gift. I would explain that I enjoyed the graduation gift they gave me, so much, I decided to give them the same thing, so they could enjoy it as much as I did. To be honest, I would not let them be present when the funeral arrangements are made. When you sign the agreement with the funeral home, be sure to write in * I do not authorize any changes to this agreement, and will not be financially responsible for any changes. Initial in small letters by where you write it in. It's legal, and binding.

 

[N F C]

When you sign the agreement with the funeral home, be sure to write in * I do not authorize any changes to this agreement, and will not be financially responsible for any changes. Initial in small letters by where you write it in. It's legal, and binding.

That's a good tip GAC (and good protection too).

 

[Blooie]

Excellent suggestion.

 

[oldrooster]

Made arrangements today, told them (as the main female dog did call while doing the paper work) that since she did not like our plans, while talking on the phone with sibling that if she wanted to make changes then she could change it to what she wanted, but SHE had to pay the difference. She claimed she couldn't do it, didn't have the $$$$ but I told her if she couldn't due it because she didn't have the $$$ for the difference, than what made her think we could, since we were paying the lions share....

 

[Blooie]

Rooster, you’re never going to win a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. You said what you had to, did what you had to, now it’s time to lay Mom to rest.