Phil, so many times you've offered comfort to others, so I hope this helps you a bit. I was stunned to be diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, almost a year ago now, followed about a week later by my first heart attack and heart stenting. The last thing I think I would have needed at that time was having Ken start to fall apart on me with worry. So you can find out what you need to help her do, and be there with a shoulder when she needs it and a kick in the hiney when she needs that, then when it all gets to be too much (which at times it might) you have friends who have you in their thoughts and prayers. You've always been there when one of us needed to vent, so now it's our turn to return the love......