Yep, it's especially important when taking our kids in, isn't it, Cynthia? How is Richard doing? I haven't heard from you in so long! That young man is so special!!
When Kendra was in the hospital with pneumonia a couple of years ago, I not-so-politely made the nurse let me cath my granddaughter. The nurse meant well, but the local hospital here didn't even have a pediatrician and wasn't set up to care for kids. (They could stabilize them in an ER situation or treat the usual bones, stitches and colds, but then sent them down to up to Billings or down to Denver Children's if it was serious enough.)
I stayed with Kendra while Jen ran home to get her some diapers and such. We always have a bag hanging on the back of her wheelchair, but didn't have enough stuff for a long stay. Kendra's nurse was waiting for more staff to come in and help put a cath in her. What???? They were going to put in a Foley with a catch bag and leave it in while she was there. Um, NO! She was scared enough, and miserable, plus we can't explain to her what's happening, so if they were to come in en mass she'd totally panic anyway. I asked if I could just go ahead and do the cath but was told no, they'd do it. The thought of them ganging up on her and doing a procedure that she didn't even need was starting to infuriate me.
I tried to be nice at first. I reminded them that either Jen or I do this 5 times a day, and never have a problem because Kendra is used to it. Nope. It was on Kendra's chart that she needed catheterization, so that's how they were doing it. I tried getting firmer, telling her that this was part of Kendra's regular routine and it would calm her having that routine followed just as it is at home. Nope. Protocol was if a cath was needed, it had to be a cath with the bag. I reminded them that UTIs are more common in bag caths, and Kendra didn't need another medical issue. Nope. So I told her that they could either let me or Jenny do the caths while Kendra was there, or I'd be in Rick's office (the CEO) of the hospital so fast they wouldn't know what hit them. She looked at me like I'd grown two heads, just staring at me and still waiting for her reinforcements, so I grabbed a cath out of Kendra's little bag. I pulled her diaper down, started singing "How Much is that Doggie in the Window" and just like that we were done. Later on Jen came back and I'd told her what I'd done. Jenny said that later she could hear our family doctor scolding the nurses, telling them that their job was to make sure the IV stayed in, Kendra got her medicines, and was comfortable and monitored. Anything to do with her Spina Bifida was to be cleared through or handled by the family. Period! They were much nicer after that, and deferred to us if they weren't sure what Kendra's special needs were!
We have to always walk a fine line, all of us, between cooperation with the medical professionals and advocating for ourselves when we feel we need to. It's a little harder when suddenly life takes a turn and the doctors all seem like Doogy Howser - how did things get flip flopped so that now I'm older than the professionals treating me? Used to be they were older, wiser and I wasn't. Hmmmm
