Don't you hang out at the pond?
That might skew your perspective... I think all of us on the pond are nuts.
My leukemia's back.
- Thread starter donrae
- Start date
That might skew your perspective... I think all of us on the pond are nuts.
@Alaskan speak for yourself. I think that Pondites are among the most normal people with whom I interact.
It is good to hear your day is better!I had a much better day today. Thank you so much. I came to this thread to share, because like, sour said, this thread has been kept going for good reason. I feel like it's a very special thread for sure. Bless her heart. Wonder if she knows how much she has helped others by sharing her own story. I like to think she does. Makes it easier coming here to vent. As I've read comments, it didn't surprise me, but saddened me that others here have had the experience of Alzheimer's..or some type of Dementia in their lives. I know I've learned that most folks do know someone with it. My DH was the same today, me..like I said, better.. Guess I just needed that ..ahem.. little break down. Our daughter in law was home today, helps to have someone else here. We went out for a while. Laughed. We laughed a few times.
. Fall is here..the colors on our mountains are amazing!
I really should be looking to see if there some things like this close by. He isn't ready for anything yet. But I can see that it's coming. I myself go to a meeting once a month to visit and share with other caregivers.
.
Yep... good to start looking now.. because sometimes the waiting list and/or paper work stuff takes quite a bit of time.I really should be looking to see if there some things like this close by. He isn't ready for anything yet. But I can see that it's coming. I myself go to a meeting once a month to visit and share with other caregivers.
Sour, it's because I have not really tried to get to know anyone else, these are people I tried to get to know, a few of the ones that are decent are nutty (2) but they are more or less nice people that you simply make allowances for and take or leave as they are not quite right but are easily dealt with. like simply ignore them for a day or 2 or if they get clingy you tell them gently to back off a little and they will with little repercussions because they realize they are not behaving the way they need to be to retain a 2 way street of friendship...
Now, I'm really getting cheesed off at the school system out here where we live. Dd came home from a parent-teacher conference this afternoon, all shook up. My grandson's teachers have decided he's got ADHD, and decided she needs to go to her pediatrician, and do whatever to have him declared as such. If she does not, they're going to take action against her. He's not a behavioral problem. He's above average in math. He seems to be lagging a little in vocabulary, particularly with the meanings of some words, and he struggles a little when it comes to writing sentences. His attention span in English class is good for about 20 minutes, then he seems to lose focus, or have difficulty concentrating. He's 8 years old. He does not advocate for himself well, meaning he won't ask for help, when he's struggling, and when one of his teachers sees he's struggling, and calls him out, to help him, at first, he loses focus. BUT, when he's focused, his reading skills are excellent, and at those time, his teachers have him lead his reading group, because he's so good.
My daughter explained that he had a couple years of speech therapy which continued until he finished first grade. That initially put him behind, but he caught up, and was doing well in first grade. He was a little above target in his reading, and language skills when he finished first grade. They moved, and he attended a different school for second grade, which had not adopted the new curriculum, and he had very lazy teachers. When he asked them for help, he was chastised. There could easily be somewhat of a learning gap, due to the differences in the two curriculum. The problem with advocating for himself will be overcome in time, when he realizes he will not be punished by them, when he asks for help.
As to his attention span, him not advocating for himself, and loosing focus when they call him out, she explained that these are not necessarily symptoms of ADHD. He was abused, mostly verbally at first, which escalated over time, then it escalated to physical abuse too for a period of time. He had been in counseling for it, and the therapist explained that there would always be a few scars from it, and certain triggers. One of the triggers, which makes him very nervous, is to be singled out, and called out. It's not so much his inability to focus, rather it triggers bad memories for a few minutes, until he gets it back under control. His teachers asked how long it's been since he was last abused, and she told them it's been 3 years now. They assured her that he was well over any abuse he might have suffered then, and any triggers should not last more than 1 - 2 minutes.
I was flabbergasted. First, they're saying he's not below average when he focuses, but he's not always focused, and then he's below average. No consistency. You don't go from being below average, to above average, to below average, to above average. It just doesn't happen that way. Second, due to the emotional disorder, which he's been getting counseling for, he's entitled to certain services that the school is to be providing. They're not mentioning, or recognizing that.
I told DD to start with his therapist, and let her know what's going on. A letter from her, will get things rolling in her favor. The school can NOT override a licensed therapist, that has diagnosed him with an emotional disorder, into forcing him to be treated for ADHD. In addition, because of the emotional disorder, the school has to test him in a multitude of things, and those tests are excellent. They will tell the whole story.
My daughter explained that he had a couple years of speech therapy which continued until he finished first grade. That initially put him behind, but he caught up, and was doing well in first grade. He was a little above target in his reading, and language skills when he finished first grade. They moved, and he attended a different school for second grade, which had not adopted the new curriculum, and he had very lazy teachers. When he asked them for help, he was chastised. There could easily be somewhat of a learning gap, due to the differences in the two curriculum. The problem with advocating for himself will be overcome in time, when he realizes he will not be punished by them, when he asks for help.
As to his attention span, him not advocating for himself, and loosing focus when they call him out, she explained that these are not necessarily symptoms of ADHD. He was abused, mostly verbally at first, which escalated over time, then it escalated to physical abuse too for a period of time. He had been in counseling for it, and the therapist explained that there would always be a few scars from it, and certain triggers. One of the triggers, which makes him very nervous, is to be singled out, and called out. It's not so much his inability to focus, rather it triggers bad memories for a few minutes, until he gets it back under control. His teachers asked how long it's been since he was last abused, and she told them it's been 3 years now. They assured her that he was well over any abuse he might have suffered then, and any triggers should not last more than 1 - 2 minutes.
I was flabbergasted. First, they're saying he's not below average when he focuses, but he's not always focused, and then he's below average. No consistency. You don't go from being below average, to above average, to below average, to above average. It just doesn't happen that way. Second, due to the emotional disorder, which he's been getting counseling for, he's entitled to certain services that the school is to be providing. They're not mentioning, or recognizing that.
I told DD to start with his therapist, and let her know what's going on. A letter from her, will get things rolling in her favor. The school can NOT override a licensed therapist, that has diagnosed him with an emotional disorder, into forcing him to be treated for ADHD. In addition, because of the emotional disorder, the school has to test him in a multitude of things, and those tests are excellent. They will tell the whole story.
oldrooster, when I live in an apartment, ALL neighbors are on a nod in passing by them, or a "hello" when passing by them, but keep moving on, situation. I did not try making it a resource for a pool of friends. Over the years, there were two couples that we eventually did get to know, and socialize with. On a very limited basis at first, then more over time. There are too many that come, and go, and too many druggies, and nut cases for it to be considered a resource for making friends. It can happen, but it takes a LONG time.
My father had dementia but, died at 90 from pneumonia. Due to dementia he wasn't swallowing properly and almost continually had pneumonia (aspiration type)
The good thing about the dementia was he forgot he hated me, also thought his son was his brother . PS I was my father's caretaker for many years after mom died.
The senior center sent a woman over to evaluate him etc. He just wanted her to drive him around . When she said she was not allowed to do that. He turned quite hostile to her and she never came back.
Then he was allowed to ride the senior/disabled bus. But drove them insane. He was never where he was supposed to be picked up. They spent a lot of time calling me to ask where he was. I had no idea. They did get to see the personality I had to deal with.
Often he hitched a ride with total strangers, and brought them into the house so he could pay them money he owed
. He also brought home the most obscene shall we say "adult magazines," featuring very young girls. And making those "adult" phone calls that were 95cents per minute. I actually think my mom died to get away from him.( she had breast cancer and refused chemo/radiation.)
Once he picked up a young girl who couldn't find her parents at the forest preserve- he drove her around and actually found them. I was furious. If the police had caught him with a young girl, I don't think they would have believed his explanation.
My sister and my brother wanted nothing to do with him. My father had always been a very difficult person with a bad temper. When he went into a nursing home- he was told to stay in his wheel chair, and not get out without having assistance. Yah like he followed rules SMH. He fell often from disobeying them. He also wheeled into other resident's rooms and helped himself to their belongings. When a cookie was passed out to residents after dinner - he threw tantrums because he demanded more.
When I started riding the senior bus to dr. appointments etc. I got an earful from all the drivers about how horrible my father had treated them etc. like it was my fault!!
Sorry I just needed venting.
The good thing about the dementia was he forgot he hated me, also thought his son was his brother . PS I was my father's caretaker for many years after mom died.
The senior center sent a woman over to evaluate him etc. He just wanted her to drive him around . When she said she was not allowed to do that. He turned quite hostile to her and she never came back.
Then he was allowed to ride the senior/disabled bus. But drove them insane. He was never where he was supposed to be picked up. They spent a lot of time calling me to ask where he was. I had no idea. They did get to see the personality I had to deal with.
Often he hitched a ride with total strangers, and brought them into the house so he could pay them money he owed
. He also brought home the most obscene shall we say "adult magazines," featuring very young girls. And making those "adult" phone calls that were 95cents per minute. I actually think my mom died to get away from him.( she had breast cancer and refused chemo/radiation.)Once he picked up a young girl who couldn't find her parents at the forest preserve- he drove her around and actually found them. I was furious. If the police had caught him with a young girl, I don't think they would have believed his explanation.
My sister and my brother wanted nothing to do with him. My father had always been a very difficult person with a bad temper. When he went into a nursing home- he was told to stay in his wheel chair, and not get out without having assistance. Yah like he followed rules SMH. He fell often from disobeying them. He also wheeled into other resident's rooms and helped himself to their belongings. When a cookie was passed out to residents after dinner - he threw tantrums because he demanded more.
When I started riding the senior bus to dr. appointments etc. I got an earful from all the drivers about how horrible my father had treated them etc. like it was my fault!!
Sorry I just needed venting.
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