my retarded rooster

[Ravishaw]

well my rooster just aggrivated the snot outta me.

For the past 48 hours he's been camped out in my neighbors yard. He and one hen walked the length of my fence, and around his gate to get into his back yard. They have a little white dog and even he thinks my rooster is obnoxious. Anyway, today I got to feeling guilty because the rooster STILL hadn't come back. And I know he and that poor hen had to be hungry, so I walked over there to bring them back. The hen was easy enough to catch. I just tosse her some scrambled eggs, let her eat in my hands, then let her go on my side of the fence. The rooster was a bit harder to do. Anytime I'd get close enough to grab him and he's just scoot right on down the fence. i chased him for a good half an hour we just came back to the same old place in the fence each time.

The hen, bless her heart, stood on the other side of the fence clucking her encouragement for him to keep on running. He'd run back to her and he'd stretch his neck through the fence and talk to her until I got close enough to him then he'd be on the run again.

So after 30 minutes I was tired of this game. I knew he was hungry and thirsty, and that this was stressing the hen because she goes everywhere with him. So I picked up a stick and the next time he got close enough, I thumped him. I feel kind of bad because I cut his waddle, and it was a little bloody. But my stick knocked him down, and while he was shaking his head clear of the cobwebs, I picked him up and carried him home. He seemed very content to be carried home.

But as soon as he got close enough to his hen, boy did he start to put up a fight. I handled this calmly, and gingerly set him down inside the coop to examine him. The cut doesn't look that bad, but after he drank a cup of cold ice water, he gave me the dirtiest stink-eye in history.

What gratitude.

 

[Truthteller]

I think my rooster is retarded... but my wife wants him turned into stew this morning!

Our coop is a good 50 feet away from the house under a mare motel. I closed in one stall with wood, made a nice gravel and sand floor, and covered it in wood shavings.

Well this morning at 2am, my rooster started crowing. And he crowed and crowed and crowed. He crowed until 5. That's when we started seeing a little light on the horizon.
I say "we" because my wife was awake. She is not a morning person. Well "chirpy" decides he's ready to get up so he stops crowing, and is apparently content eating all the bugs that have died during the night beneath our bug zapper.

Oh but it isn't so.

For the past few mornings I've been throwing handfuls of cooked spaghetti out the back door as I go to work. He's gotten used to it, so he's standing there waiting and waiting for me to open the back door and throw pasta at him. When it doesn't come he gets impatient, and walks right beneath our bedroom window and rears back and opens up a barrel of crows. My wife jumps up on top of the bed, throws open the blinds and yells at the rooster... Well HE thinks it was his crowing that is finally getting these lazy bones out of bed so he crows AGAIN!

Needless to say, it was my job to put him in the coop this morning before I left, and she is going to let him and all the other hens out when she's good and ready.

Sounds like a smart bird, and an irritable wife.......