Need advice... co dependant empty nester helping kids My kids are grown.. I need advice to soothe me fast... their ages are 24 son. 23 daughter and 18 year old son... are are normal and drug free decent young people that are great kids and no problems right????? I was relieved that my kids are doing well....my daughter blessed me with a "grandson/son" (her age 16) that my husband and I adopted and she lived with us until alll until she got married at age 18.. Well she got married, has 2 more children (girls) and the more I help her with diapers/food/money... the worse she is disrespectful/rude and not thankful for anything... its the same thing. She doesnt drive and stays at home with her kids. her husband works 2 jobs but does not buy food or basic things for the kids... so they are usually without basic things they need... the more money/food/diapers I give my daughter.. the less the son in law pays on bills and goes out and buys TV computers and needless junk at the store.... SHOULD I BACK OFF and not be the "bank of mom" until the son in law does something and becomes responsible???? My grandkids need things but I am already raising one of her kids (who I love and will never regret on minute!) Should I not feel guilty? will she learn more trying to figure it out on her own ??? Please I need a voice of experience here... are there any co dependant grandma empty nesters out there that want to save for retirement but feel guilty????? all advice is appreicated and thanks in advance.