Need advice on a neighbor

[Hopeful homesteader]

I've caught my neighbor driving drunk yesterday, I knew he drank often and he normally will go around and ask different neighbors if they would give him a ride to the store if they were already heading that way so he wouldn't be driving himself but yesterday I saw him crash into something in his driveway and got out with a can of beer in his hand. Almost everyone on the cul-de-sac has kids myself included that are playing out front of my house since I'm at the end of the road and there's less traffic back here. Nobody else was out yesterday but I'm concerned that he could hurt someone either here or out driving and I have no clue how often this has been happening. I don't want to start any problems with him but I feel like this is a serious issue that need to be addressed and I don't know how to go about it. For a little background, he normally works a lot and wasn't drinking much but since everything has closed down from all the corona stuff he's home all the time with nothing to do. His wife left a few years ago and has been on drugs so he's raising 2 boy's on his own and I think this past year has just thrown him into a bad spot and lead to too much drinking. I don't pry into my neighbors personal lives but when he's drinking he comes over and starts talking so I am assuming it's all related and he's just trying to cope. There could be more that I'm unaware of. All the neighborhood kids congregate at my house, let them know if they need anything our door is always open for advice, help, if they're hungry, just anything were a safe place to turn and from that I can tell those boys are well taken care of and well mannered. Would it be better for my husband to go talk to him privately? Sorry to ramble here, idk what to do.

 

[azygous]

Oh, boy, do you ever have a problem. Alcoholism, serious alcoholism runs in my family. I have a lot of experience with it. In a nutshell, it's almost impossible to make any difference when dealing with an alcoholic unless the alcoholic at some level of consciousness yearns for healing. You can trot out family and friends and the guy's employer for an intervention, and it still has a very slim chance of changing things.

One thing I've found can work to make things a bit safer for those around the alcoholic, and that is to confront them after a significant mishap occurred during a drunk episode and state firmly that law enforcement will be called if another dangerous mishap occurs that threatens the safety of the neighborhood residents. That has worked for me in the past.

Another positive approach would be to talk to the guy during a period of sobriety and let him know you are aware how tough he has it coping with things, and if he wants to talk about anything, you're there to listen. This could establish trust and rapport that could later lead to your encouraging him to give AA a whirl.

You might look up AA meeting schedules for your area and have a few meeting locations and times ready for that right moment. But just hitting him cold with, "You need to give AA a try, buddy" won't work.

When dealing with an alcoholic timing is everything. When you can refer to a recent incident where you can point to harm he has caused, that can carry weight, and issuing a warning to him that there will be consequences the next time may work to at least make the neighborhood a little bit safer. But confronting the guy with accusations that he's a drunk and needs to go get help won't work.

I can't think of many other social issues as dangerous and complicated as alcoholism. Unless it's politics.