Need some life advice

[gypsy2621]

Remember the simple things,
" You can not help someone who doesnt want to help themselves".

I know its hard to turn away from a family member but sometimes its for the best.
I fully understand your not wanting to lose whats left of your family. You can still be supportive of your sister but you in your current position can not afford to take from your self . You have been through a lot, and likely more to come, Build yourself up strong and healthy before taking on any more tasks.
If you get sick how can you help your sister? You have to be strong, You have done so much for her and she has chosen her path. Now you have to chose your path to health and happiness.

 

[chilling in muscadine]

Quote:
Thank you and you are so right about all this. I did spend two days in the hospital last week. That has made me think I have to save my on health right now and I do have my SO to think about. I need to be here for him. He has always been here for me.

 

[KattyKillFish]

I have often felt that way and still do sometimes. i can easily look around me and know that at some point in time every one of them has turned their back on me when i needed them the most.

my mother threw me in a mental hospital because she didn't want to deal with my issues. that only made things worse, i needed my family but was separated from them for years.

even my boyfriend Nick. i'm not even going to mention what happened there, but he left me when i needed him the most. he abandoned me despite the horrible thing that happened to me.

my best friend when i lost the only person i ever loved. she said all i care about is men and i need to get a life. it's not that all i cared about was men, it was that my heart was broken and i needed her advice.

everything in my body, mind, soul and spirit tells me not to trust these people ever again. but then i remember that without their help i would not be have what i have.

My mother raised me very well and taught me all the things i needed to know to get by in life. she taught me to care for our animals and treat them with respect. she taught me how to hunt, but not to waste anything that the hunted animal had to offer. the reason she did what she did was because she was having going through a rough time in her life. she had just divorced my father and quit drinking. my mother is now a very nice woman, and i have to remember that her childhood was much worse than mine.

Nick and i have since got back together after 6 years of being apart. both of us have grown up alot, both of us needed alot more time to be in a real, meaningful relationship. now that we're older we are less selfish and more understanding and patient with one another. the same could be said for my friend and i. we were just kids trying to be grown ups.

i guess my point here is that no matter how hard life is, no matter what problems you face and no matter how many people hurt you and how bad. no matter how much the pain aches and how much you want to hate the people around you for everything they've done to you. you have to remember that there is always time ahead of you to make things better. sometimes you have to cry and hurt. sometimes you have to let everything out before you can pull yourself out of it and get back up. look forward to all the good things you can expect. the little things.

no matter how bad things get you can always learn something important from it. even now i still feel the heartache and loneliness i felt in my younger teenage years. looking back on it, i can see that the pain went away with every happy moment. you don't need religious guidance or therapists or medication or drugs.

you need a friend, or a to listen to the birds sing in the summer. you need to enjoy your favorite candy bar in your favorite place. you need to take a nap in the sun or listen to loud crazy music that expresses the way you feel.

you need to bug a chicken or pet your dog or cat. give him or her a good scratch on the ears and think of how great it must feel to be a dog or can getting your ears scratched.

time heals all, and you need time to heal. but the best way to learn is to keep going. if you don't want to get up after the wolves torn you up and everybody seems to be against you, then lay there for a while and rest a bit.

here's hoping you'll feel better, and here's hoping my story and advice helps you through this difficult time in your life

 

[chilling in muscadine]

Quote:
Thanks KattyKillFish for sharing your story, I know it was hard and it means a lot to me.

 

[Big Chicken Little]

The trees, the flowers, the plants grow in silence. The stars, the sun, the moon move in silence. Silence gives us a new perspective.


Blessed Mother Teresa


Most often our answers come to us in our time of quietness. This is the moment that God uses to talk to us. Have a Blessed day and when you are down ...up is the only direction you can go.

 

[chickaddict]

Sometimes when everything in your world is going wrong, looking into someone elses helps to give us a better perspective on what we have. I quite often catch myself wallowing in misery. I have battled manic depression since I was 12.
this is todays list:
I owe more than 3 months to most creditors
not enough work to keep the bills paid
hubby laid off
owe over 10,000 in medical bills
elec co 1,650
1 teenager arrested
1 barely passing hs
the home we built together and have been paying for for 16 yrs is headed into foreclosure!!!!!

A year ago a would have curled into a ball in a corner somewhere.
Why am I not crying in a corner???????

The day after Superbowl Sunday my cousin(who is more of a sister to me than my sisters) was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer(shes 39). The pancreatic oncologist at Yale informed her on Monday that this is one of the most aggressive cases he has ever battled. She has a 13 yr old daughter.

Makes my issues appear petty. I need to keep smiling, she needs me.

It helps to remind myself that the lord doesn't sent us more then we can handle - he must think i'm made of cement.

If he believes I am that strong then I must be and so are YOU .

Taking pleasure in the little smiles of your life will help destress the big ones. Good Luck

 

[chilling in muscadine]

Quote:
Thanks for sharing your story. God must think I'm made of lead. I have similar problems but my sister is being beat by he boyfriend daily and there is nothing I can do about it but step back and try and save my own health. I've done everything I can but with no results. My heart is broke that I can not help her.

 

[60ACRES]

Quote:
..what the, I know a guy named Earl, he has a baseball bat, problem solved.

 

[chilling in muscadine]

Quote:
..what the, I know a guy named Earl, he has a baseball bat, problem solved.

Thanks for that, we have already thought of that. The problem is already to far up in law enforcement. Still no good outcome.

 

[ShadyGlade]

I am sorry for your stress. I grew up watching my mother get beat by a string of men. It was horrific and profoundly influenced who both my sister & I became as adults. Visit your local library or book store. A book called something like the Dance of Anger was illuminating for me. See if you can find one that speaks to you and allows you to heal. Anger, frustraion and guilt are part of the ugly cycle of abuse and these toxic emotions bleed out into the lives of those who love the abused (and yes the abusers also).

Be there to support your sister. Make certain she has the contact information for an escape shelter. Offer her your love and support BUT do not agonize over her choices in life. If the time ever arrives that she chooses to change her choice then you'll be mentally & emotionally able to help her. If you are seen as judgmental or preachy you will never be the one that an abused woman turns to for help. If you can, do get some counseling or find a support group for YOURSELF. You need to lose the anger at your self ( if you could only MAKE her see...) & her( she ought to let you help her). Or what ever your toxic emotional maelstrom is over this tragic situation. I know that she is the one with the "problem" but trust me if you get the help it will help her - not in the short run but it will help. Blessing and peace to you.