Need to rant, sorry guys!

Discussion in 'Random Ramblings' started by amandacv86, Sep 26, 2012.

  1. amandacv86

    amandacv86 In the Brooder

    Sep 20, 2012
    So I found out today DH's aunt told us not to get any more animals.He tells me this after I brought home two finches and a rabbit yesterday, and I'm planning on getting coturnix quail for eggs, possibly for meat, next week.

    Let me give you a little of a background. This house is as old as DH's grandpa. Grandpa is in a rehabilitation center. The house was sold to DH and his uncle, for a really cheap price, because Grandpa didn't want the house to be lost. After the deed papers were notarized, we had to send the papers to Uncle, who was supposed to mail them back to us to take to the recorders office. They still haven't done this. His aunt and uncle have power of attorney over grandpa.

    Now it seems like it's only his house when it's convenient for them. They say DH can do things because an owner of the house, but then for other things they make rules.

    We have 3 little dogs, 5 cats that mostly stay outside, 3 guinea pigs, 3 rabbits, and 2 finches(outdoors in an aviary). Yes, I know that is a lot, but we take good care of them, they are fed a healthy diet, have clean cages, get out of cage time, and they are not destroying anything.

    We pay all of the bills, the mortgage on the loan Grandpa took out on the house several years ago, plus our small mortgage. Plus we are taking care of the house. We're not complaining about that part. It just feels like we're being treated like children. We are here because no one else either can afford to, wants to, or we know they will destroy it.

    I'll admit that I might get a little childish in my frustration, and I'm not intending any disrespect to DH's family members, but part of me wants to tell them "You're not my mom!" [​IMG] or "You can't tell me what to do!" Grandpa already signed his part of the deed putting the house in DH and Uncles name, and we've held up our part of the bargain. We love grandpa and love this house, we just don't like being treated like this. Am I wrong to feel like they don't have the right to enforce this on us? Please be nice!

  2. Mattemma

    Mattemma Crowing

    Aug 12, 2009
    It would be a good idea for your dh to go get the papers(signed or not) and meet with an attorney to get this issue resolved.

    As far as aunt telling you what you can or can not do well just ignore it.Seriously,like she never said anything.Why notch things up a level over something she has little say in.Keep your home and yard clean though.Sometimes people can be vindictive and report you to the city.

    Really,go talk to a lawyer.Go talk to grandpa.Get this issue resolved.If you have to take this to court it will cost a bit of money,and you will essentially have stangers determining your fate.Sometimes that is the only option,but it is better than to continue as is.
    1 person likes this.
  3. Arielle

    Arielle Crowing

    Feb 19, 2011
    Massachusetts, USA
    Family can be the cause of very difficult situations. Go get the paperwork, and get the signatures. Did you Uncle pay toward the purchase of the house? You can stipulate who owns the greater share and that determines who has the greater say rather than 50-50. And if it is the Uncle and not the AUnt that shares ownership, set the ground rules from the get go and kindly tell your AUnt she is not part owner and therefore should not be dictating the rules of use.

    ANd, yes, people can become very vindictive and report you, even if there is no basis.

    So my suggestion is to find a way to buy out your uncle. Make that part of the current setup--but get those papers back from him BEFORE you talk about changing the agreement. If it isn't signed by both parties yet, it can be changed. You have negotiating power simply by paying the bills and the upkeep. It is harder to change after the signing, but it can be done.

    You can also consult a lawyer to work thru this--legal advice is expensive but can be worth every penny.

    Hope you can sort this out without too much heart ache.
  4. Henny peeny

    Henny peeny Songster

    May 4, 2007
    Yup this is a bugger

    Well since she doesn't have ownership of the house and you and you DH and uncle I think you said owns it. either ignore it or ask her what it is to her. Maybe she IS trying to be controlling but maybe she thinks you are to hurt the house by the animals. I have had rabbits goats chickens dogs and cats and a few time rats here we own it lock stock and barrel and never did the animal do damage BUT I have had pigs and they tear everything up. we have a building and piggy was routing like pigs do and he tore off pieces of the building off but all the other animal didn't do anything. Maybe you should invite this family member to see how it is and I know this may be hard for you but let her ask questions as to the animals and maybe she has concerns as to the nature of them like the pig it is his nature to route can't do anything of this but if she understands these animals are not doing any harm and just pets maybe she will not be so much of a bother telling you what you can or can't have.
    If you have explained this to her and it don't she don't get it then some time you have to stand up to people or plain rude it is hard to do this for me I feel so bad and I ever get crying because I had to be so mean to someone. It is not something you want to do but if this is what it takes or just tell her to bugger off the land is not hers and what ever you do will be done and she will have to get over it PERIOD but I find to be nice as you can at first this is usually the best way. There is some sort of misunderstand I think with her and she needs to be corrected.

    I am sorry you are having this trouble if I could help you I would.

  5. SillyChicken

    SillyChicken Crowing

    Jan 12, 2010
    You're paying for everything?

    Whats the uncle get out of it? What's he paid?

    I agree with the others, get the paperwork in hand... make sure they didn't change anything without you knowing! Family business like that can get really sticky, and you'd be surprised how family will screw each other because of greed. You think you're helping out and trying to protect the old family home.. but they'll take advantage of you and maybe a few years down the road, after you've invested all your money in the mortgage and maintenance, thinking you have a home, and they put it up for sale without your knowing, maybe even sell it.. come to find out, they removed your name from the title/deed.....(may be exaggerating to prove a point).... get those papers and see a lawyer!

    Then offer to buy the uncle out. OR... establish some rules of your own. If you are paying for care, upkeep and mortgage etc... then in my opinion, since you've assumed all the risk, the aunt doesn't have a say in what happens. If they give you a hard time, tell them you'll expect them to pay for half of the mortgage/insurance/taxes and maintenance on the house.

    IF they paid half of all expenses (except your ele/heating etc bills) then they should have a say in what goes on.
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2012
  6. amandacv86

    amandacv86 In the Brooder

    Sep 20, 2012
    Thank you all for making me not feel like I'm being a dramatic teenager. [​IMG] Please excuse me for leaving out a few minor details, I was trying to be quick in my original post. They did pay the notary fees and they pay their half of the mortgage for their half of the little mortgage for Grandpa selling the house, but it's really small, $25. The loan is $260, we pay that every month.

    It's tough because Grandpa sold the house only because he didn't want it lost out of the family when he passes away. Also, this is the aunt who took care of DH and his siblings when they were kids because they have crappy parents, like when his mom went into an alcohol program. We know and believe that they don't want anything out of it, and Uncle was one of the buyers so we didn't have to hear and bickering from the rest of the family. This aunt and uncle are really the only ones we do trust.

    She's telling us not to get anymore animals because grandpa keeps bringing it up. He came from a time/ family where all of your dogs and cats stayed outside. It's foreign to him that anyone would want an inside dog, and doesn't understand that small dogs like chihuahuas can't be kept outside all winter. He's also showing signs of dementia and refuses any kind of therapy to get better, so even more difficult now(85). He also needs 24/7 care right now and I don't think he'll ever be able to come home, just trying to be realistic.

    We are really doing everyone a favor by being here, because there is no one else to do it, but they act like we're living here because we don't have another option.
  7. cassie

    cassie Crowing

    Mar 19, 2009
    I once knew an old man with six adult children. Each of these children thought they knew what was best for their dad and did not hesitate to tell him what he should be doing. For his own good, of course. He would smile, agree with each of them heartily, and then continue to do whatever it was he wanted to do. You might try this.

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